A Period of Doing Nothing

There was a period of time today where I did nothing. Absolutely, nothing and on purpose.

I’m someone who has to be doing something. Whether large or small my hands and mind need to be occupied. But doing something at every point of the day is wearing thin. It has been for years but it has only been now that my eyes are fully open to seeing so.

I’m causing my own mental illness by putting too much on myself all at once. Physically and mentally, I’m getting too low.

In my period of doing nothing, I laid on my bed for nearly 2 hours. I had set an alarm to allow me to switch off. Saving me worrying when I needed to get ready for work. I just laid there, eyes closed. My mind wondered. My mind came back to the present.

I felt the tension in my eyes. I felt I had relaxed.

During the period of nothing, I thought about the level 1 qualification I was starting in September. I’ve taken on so many other things over the last couple of years. I can’t even remember the last time I wasn’t trying to gain a qualification.

I’ve family health complications and we’re in the process of buying a house that needs gutting. Due to all this, I decided to inform the tutors I couldn’t commit 100% to the course and would have to delay my entry into the course.

Having this period of nothing helped me feel more alive and able to go for work. I even agreed to do an extra 1/2 hour. I feel this period of nothing is something I should be doing regularly.

It’s gonna benefit me in the long run. I feel I should have a day, even if it’s once a month where I say no to everything and have a me day. Do what I want to do, the things I love rather than the things I should be doing.

Have a period of nothing incorporated into the day and see where it takes me.

I even have the ground rule: Schedule me time and stick to it. I have been neglecting myself. Putting myself and my care on the back burner.

This needs to stop. If I take care of myself. I would be better able to help others.

Wedding Talk

I had a lovely girly evening with B; a takeaway and a film. Just what we needed. We talked about our weddings too.

I told her Dave and I were talking 2021 for ours. B said she’d better hurry up and decided. She’d want to get married before us. She has thought about 2020. See what D thinks to that one.

He might thank us for getting her arse into gear.

Watched: Annihilation > 2.5 out of 5

Nodding Off in Company

We spent the evening at the in-laws. Having dinner at Dave’s parents is always lovely. A proper home-cooked meal and pudding.

I did feel bad for nodding off after dinner. Once we decided it was best to come home; apologising for nodding off. I didn’t feel so guilty as Dave’s dad was nodding off too.

We’re all comfortable together as a family.

Next week we’ll be doggy sitting for them while they are on holiday. We’ll get to play house. Shame it’s not our own home yet.

Hopefully, it won’t be too long.

Waiting Game Continues

The surveyors went into our potential new home yesterday. This morning we got the report to tell us what we already knew. Using my Step-Dad phasing: “Your new home is fucked. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. We can fix it”.

It’s good to be able to do the house to how we want it. It’ll certainly feel like it’s completely ours. We are now waiting on the vendors solicitors to send our draft contract and supporting documents.

We’re back to the waiting again.

I’m very impatient when it comes to this getting our new home.

The financial adviser has told us the lender will take a few days to look at the survey report, then if they’re happy will send us an official offer letter.

I’m glad I know what I’m waiting for rather then waiting and having no idea what’s around the corner.


Personal Ground Rules

During 2017 I started to make a list of personal ground rules for myself to live by. I’ve had these written down on My Dreams, Goals and Bucket List page since I’ve thought of them. But they’ve just been sat there.

Whether I have been living by them I couldn’t even say. I’m guilty of forgetting what they even are.

Not really personal than are they?

  1. Don’t back out of plans or make excuses due to something “better” coming up. Side Note: If I don’t want to go. Don’t agree in the first place.
  2. Say no to the things that don’t resonate with me / I don’t believe in.
  3. Share my opinions and concerns.
  4. Focus on one task at a time
  5. Schedule ME TIME each week. Stick to it!
  6. Have Integrity
  7. Try new things

Here I have 7 ground rules. Reading over them I feel that I am somewhat living by them. But I could be more actively doing so. I feel I need to regularly look to see what they are and if I figure I need to add others, then I should add more.

I know here I’m writing I should do this and I should do that. I don’t want to be doing things I feel I should be doing. Look at ground rule 2; don’t agree to things that don’t resonate with me / I don’t believe in.

I don’t want to have rules I should be following. I want to have these type of things be the sense of the person I am. Get me out of my comfort zone but also being honest and open about who I want to be.

I’ve decided to move the list of ground rules off My Dreams, Goals and Bucket List so that I’ve written about them more on a personal level. As one of my goals on the list is to make personal ground rules, I can now link this post to that goal. Allowing me to refer back to it when I wish.

Book: Power of Doing Less by Fergus O’Connell

I finished ‘The Power of Doing Less’ by Fergus O’Connell. It has some good tips to get you to cut down of doing things.

It’s got a link to a page done by Calm; do nothing for 2 minutes. It counts down the clock for 2 minutes where you listen to waves. Moving your mouse or using the keyboard resets the counter.

┬áThe author also gives names of other resources to go to if you want. Plus there are questions to answer. It was a quick read. Only took a couple of days. I haven’t done the tasks set in the book.

I’ve booked marked the 2 minutes Calm count down to try when the house is less hectic.

I’ve also looked into the free exercise plans through NHS Choices. There are a couple of plans you can do at home with no equipment. There is also one that is an outside plan in partnership with The National Trust.

I’ve downloaded the plans I liked. I’ll give them a go soon too.