Little Interest

I felt a little disinterested at times today. I’ve gone out and done some things on my outing list. Being a tourist in my own country is something I want to be interested in. I don’t even know why I felt that way. I’m out doing something I want to do and I’m not fully there.

I can’t wrap my head around it.

I went to Nunnington Hall. Saw the most beautiful Peacock. I’ve not been lucky enough to see them with their tails fully spread out.

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Then off to York; to the Jorvik centre and the Harry Potter shop. The Jorvik centre took forty minutes to get inside! Then spent less time inside the place. This didn’t help my thinking.

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But then to the Harry Potter shop. I didn’t have to wait as long this time. It was good seeing all the Harry Potter merchandise, that I haven’t seen before.

Maybe it’s history that’s not for me. But it’s what I’ve grown up around. Going to stately homes or old ruins.

I did have an achievement today. It may not be one for you reading this, but for those who know me, this is huge… I drove home from York without the SatNav.

After dinner, it was cinema time. I enjoy going to the cinema. It was a shame about the film though. Sorry not sorry to all Marvel/Spiderman fans out there but I only found it watchable.

Towards bedtime, I felt disconnected with my partner. I love when he massages me/caresses my skin. But when I did something I didn’t like because it made me tense rather than relax. He stopped everything. ‘Just giving my arm a rest’ he said.

It maybe true but it made me feel disheartened. I’m sure there’s something wrong with me deep down. I don’t like or find I can’t relax or find painful that should be enjoyable to everyone.

I don’t know the answer. But something has to be done.

 

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