Why do I feel more awake now then I do any other time of day. It’s coming up to bedtime. An early morning beckons and no matter the time, early or late, I go to bed, I don’t want to get up in a morning.
I remember a time when I woke first thing without my alarm clock even going off yet.
“Life I suppose”.
A doctor said that to me before. My blood result had come back normal. He told me it was life, you’ll get over it!
So glad I wasn’t suicidal.
Thinking of what the doctor said to me, now just makes me angry. Saying that to someone, who another doctor, not long after, put me on anti-depressants and referred me to a counsellor.
Clearly not due to the other doctor. But because of life!
But because of life!
I got through that stage in my life. But life keeps coming – kicking me in the arse.
In just over a week I will be back at a therapist. This time in a group setting. So far not on anti-depressants. Hopefully, it helps me cope some how.
Writing I’ve found to help. I was never good at writing when at school. Sometimes even now, I’m not great. But I’m writing for me. I’m enjoying it. I’m sharing it.
Update on my job opportunity: now rearranged for 3:15 pm tomorrow. Let’s see what this brings.