Back on Anti-depressants

I had my trip to the doctors today. I saw a new doctor. Well, new to me. He’s close to retiring apparently. But anyway that’s not important.

What is, is that I felt listened to. He was straight to the point. No messing around. I was very much against going on anti-depressants. I wanted to fight my battle with mental health without them.

If felt like a defeat when I agreed to go on them. I’d been thinking about doing so all week. It definitely helped him being straight talking. Being like a counsellor and not caring he only had ten minutes.

Hey, they were fifty minutes behind as it was. Don’t think that mattered much.

He also gave me Headspaces website, recommended me to try that to help me meditate. Be mindful. Seeing as the first ten sessions are free I’m gonna give it a go. I feel like I don’t wanna let my doctor down.

While I was there, we talked about all my symptoms. Waking up feeling sick and not wanting to eat much due to feeling full all the time, was obviously brought up. I was weighed. Like any other time on the scales, I’m below my BMI average. This isn’t new to me.

He said that we’ll see how things go in the next month. He wants to see me by the end of September. See where my head is at then. If nothing changes with my eating/stomach. Then we would have to look into it. As I apparently could be border line to an eating disorder.

As I apparently could be border line to an eating disorder. While writing this I remembered being bullied at school for being thin. I’ve naturally been so all my life. There used to be a time I could eat anything and everything without putting weight on.

That and with bullying, I was called twig. Rumours going around that I was anorexic. I was thin. I wasn’t anorexic. I fear to be sick. But now I do struggle to be interested in food.

So, night one of anti-depressants. The same one I had last time. And I remember why I didn’t like it. I felt like it was stuck in my throat and I had a headache for an hour afterwards.

This time I will say something. I need to. I cannot be feeling worse for something that’s supposed to make me feel better.


You can now sign up to Molly Mahar new Council: The Courage Council. It’s starting on the 11th September for 21 days. There are two price ranges depending if you want extras or not. Like I said, it’s new this year so, only know whats gonna happen by the info Molly provides but if it’s anything like how her Holiday Council goes. I’m gonna love it.

Maybe you could too. Click the picture to access the web page. Have fun.

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