Anxiety, Depression, Family, Life, Mental Health, Writing

My Worst Fear

I’ve had an amazing day. I say amazing, it’s been a very good one. Very productive. I completed my e-learning Safeguarding CPD. I was well impressed.

Then an hour ago, I saw something out the corner of my eye. I thought “Nope, I didn’t see anything.”

Just a trick of the light in my eye.

Boy, was I wrong.

I couldn’t stop checking the area I thought I saw something. Then five minutes later it zoomed past again.

I froze. Stopped breathing. Chest started to tighten. I began breathing heavy.

Then it scurried past again.

I unfroze.

Went downstairs “There’s a spider in my room. There’s a spider in my room.”

I’m tense. Hands clammy. Chest hurting. Breathing fast.

Thankfully my mum has had practice removing spiders from my rooms.

My Mr fluff ball came up with mum. He laid on my bed. He let me stroke him but not cuddle or kiss him. Which he usually does.

It was like he was saying no. No cuddles until you calm down. He was waving and kicking his legs. Growled at me until I was breathing normally. Then he let me pick him up and have a cuddle.

That’s what I get for cleaning my room.

Let’s hope no more surface. If they can wait until Tuesday afternoon. As from tomorrow morning, I’m gonna be home alone with the pups. I don’t wanna be panicking when I get scared as it is.

Right. Stop thinking about it. Nothings gonna happen. All will be ok.

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