I started week one of The Courage Council today. The first five-minute task were prompts about believing in yourself. I wrote things down but I struggled to answer.
That realisation of not believing in myself or knowing what I’m proud of about myself. It’s disheartening to me. That positivity and strength, Molly was talking about. I lack within myself.
This needs to change!
The next task to write down the doubts I carry. Well, that wasn’t hard. I even kept going over time.
The doubts need to change to beliefs!
Again I found the same thing during the slices of life task. I was able to fill in my destroy and weakness boxes. The build and strength ones on the other hand only had one or two in or nothing at all.
I may have already started this work but I’ve already noticed something I need to improve upon.
I’ve always struggled with confidence but I thought I had belief in myself. I find simple things hard to do. Just like a moment ago for instance. I needed my neighbour to move her car to enable me to move mine, in order for my stepdad to get his van on the drive once he got home.
I went straight to panic mode. Even asked my mum if she’d do it. I knew the answer was gonna be no. I took a deep breath, put a big jumper on and went round.
My neighbour was lovely with it. Happy to move her car. Said she was even watching out for my stepdad to get home.
I don’t know why but I find speaking up, asking for what I want scary.
Let’s make a goal.
Goal: Do the things that scare me
It’s quite a broad goal but right now a lot of things scare me. I have a fear of baths remember. Big or small. I need to do them.