I’m always hard on myself. I doubt myself. I criticise myself. I know I shouldn’t but I do. I need to learn how to change this. Andrea Own has done a guide and questions on your inner critic. These are my own response to her Questions.
- Know your inner critic intimately.
Q: What areas in your life are you the hardest on yourself?
Body/appearance. Future. Finance.
Q: What does your inner critic specifically say to you?
“Your not good enough”. “You won’t get to where you want to go”. “Your don’t have the confidence or drive to get there”. “What’s the point?” “Your too skinny / boney”. “Your never gonna put on weight”. “No one is gonna want to see your body. Especially not Dave”. “Why wear that?” “Your never gonna own your own home”. “Your spending too much”.
2. Uncover hidden beliefs inside our shit-talker.
Q: What are the things that you can pull out of the statements that you have come to believe about yourself?
“I’m not deserving / smart enough for success”. “I’m never gonna own my own home”. “I don’t deserve to be comfortable in my own skin”. “I don’t know how to do this”. “I can’t do this”.
3. Challenge those beliefs
Q: What if the beliefs weren’t true?
I do deserve success. I work hard to get to where I wanna go. If there is something I find I can’t do, I figure out how. I will own my own home. We are saving where we can. I spend more when I’m anxious. I need to process and I’ll be able to cut down. Everyone deserves to be comfortable in their own skin. I’m doing everything right to get the weight on.
Q: If these beliefs weren’t true, how would I show up differently in my life?
I would have confidence in what I do. I would follow my path, conquer all obstacles in my way. Ask for help when I need it. I’d continue to better myself on my terms. Being honest to all as well as myself. I’d wear what the hell I like.
Q: If these beliefs weren’t true, what decisions would I make?
I would be more mindful with my actions and thoughts. Conscious of my intentions with both people and food. I would make decisions that feel right for me. I would move jobs now. I would travel the world. I would go to a mortgage adviser.
These questions I would never have thought to ask myself. I believed once you had an inner critic that’s it. They’re with you for life. Which they are. You have to understand and know the way to be able to be the boss rather then the critic take over.
The I woulds and the inner critic needs work. I need to start implementing the I woulds into my life.
Do you understand your inner critic?