Mindset Changing

I’m becoming aware of my mindset changing, with only a few videos watched, having started the course. With my job, it can be unsettled at the best of times. Putting me into anxiety/worry/stress moods. Times it’s become anger.

Today I got an email regarding a cancellation with a customer, and they put 2 customers I’d never been to before in place of. These two customers being outside my boundary, I usually have some words to say about it.

I didn’t today. I accepted the changed, thanked them, got my mileage claim form ready and moved on to what I was doing.

No overthinking. No stressing. No anxiety bubbling in me. The only thing I was going was thinking about what I was gonna have for my lunch.

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Less Thinking. More Being in the Now.

I’ve tried not to think too much today. When a thought came into my head, even a judgement, I’ve tried to let it pass. If it wasn’t something to act on, I wouldn’t think about it. Working towards that mindfulness.

I’ve really enjoyed today. I volunteered at the animal shelter, spent some time with my grandma.

I have thoughts of safeness when with her as I could tell she’s declined since I last saw her. But I had a mini think about it. Thinking: I’m missing out on the time spent with her. Get back to listening.

Then I had lunch with B. We made pizza, watched The BFG and played a new game for me; labyrinth. So much fun. B doesn’t like it but I won twice. I told her about my blog and the course I’ve just signed up for.

Dave messed up with some instructions I gave. I didn’t think of that or blame him when I found out. Had a joke about it instead. Then we went to friends for dinner and played Halo Monopoly. 4 adults got beat by a 7-year-old. It was a great laugh.

I’m tired from a long busy day. I feel I would be more mentally tired if I was thinking more through the day though.

A Sense of Excitement for a Lone Day Trip

I’ve been feeling a sense of excitement. That drive in me when watching the videos and reading content within the Coaching Programme I’ve signed myself up for.

I’m really glad that is the way I’m feeling. I can’t remember feeling like this or at least it lasting a few days. Maybe I’ll fall in love with coaching as a life career.

A meeting has been scheduled for March for those within the course. The cost of the day came within the fees for the overall course cost. So accommodation and travel are all needed to pay.

Seeing as I’m paying a lot out now over the 6 months. I want to go but as long as it didn’t break the bank more. Once I found out the date, I checked my diary. It’s my Saturday off. That’s one point in favour.

I asked my mum how realistic it would be to get to the place in London from relatives. ‘It’ll be all the different tube lines you’d have to navigate by yourself’. Even with my mum saying that, and both of us know how my anxiety can be.

I have been to London before but not by myself! I didn’t have to navigate the tubes. The other person did that. I just followed.

That feeling of excitement didn’t go, once this was said to me, unlike the other times I may have felt it in my life. I looked at trains. Wondered if I could get from Yorkshire to London and back in a day.

This was possible and there was a couple of trains around the course times. Another point to it’s meant to be. The price was next. At the time of checking, I could do the return journey for £50. If I paid for 2 singles. Point 3.

I would still have to use the tube once I got there to get to the venue. Thankfully the rail page said the options and the direct route. All I’d have to do on the day is get on the correct one and pay nearer the time for the cost of the tube.

Next was my talk with Dave, seeing as I’d spent, pretty much what he’d saved this month. I sent him a message, he was at work, I knew I wasn’t gonna get a reply straight away.

Everything else was leading me towards going. I needed to go as well as wanted to go. It will be my first coaching event to attend as the student. It’ll be the first time I’m going somewhere by myself for myself. None of my support system to hold my hand in any way.

My anxiety will boil over on the day. Every fibre in me was screaming this is it. You’ve got to do this for you or you’ll never accomplish an ambition of yours.

Without waiting for Daves’ response, I booked the train tickets. When I did get a response he was all for it and willing to pay for my ticket. Having the support of Dave, even though my crazy mind at times, just fuels that joy in me. Others may not be as excited as I am. But I need to do this for me. No matter the outcome.

This wasn’t exactly what I had in mind when I thought of picking my journal up. Insights and lightbulb moments was the topic. But as soon as my pen got to paper, what you read is what came out. Clearly, it what I needed to write today. Insights and lightbulb moments will have to wait.

Power

Where do I feel peaceful, strong, able to affect change?

Journalling. Checking with goals.

Where do I feel silenced, weal or disregarded?

Office. Body Love. Future Career. Confidence. Money. Authority Figure.

What is one action I can take to reclaim my power? To reclaim ownership of my life?

A hard one maybe: but to stop thinking, overthinking, letting my thoughts be ruled by my thinking.

I know it says one but I want another: I want to LISTEN. To really listen. Listen with feeling as well as hearing the words.

 

Focusing on the Positive. Expelling the Negative

With help from Dave and one of the coach course admins, I’ve figured out my Facebook dilemma. I’ve set up a new account just for the course group with a change of name, which they gave advice on.

Another good thing today is I passed my second go at my Unit 4 of my CBT course. Two good things have happened today.

O wait, I’ve just thought of a third.

My trip to the garage ended with a tire puncture repair rather than a whole new tire. I’m glad about that.

I’m grateful for these three things which I’m trying to put to the front of my mind, rather than the two not so grateful information I’ve had today. To keep things positive I should just stop there and focus on the positive only.


For me to stay in the positive, I need to express my negative too. To enable me to process and let go of bad energy.

  1. Not feeling well

I woke up in the night not well. I’ve not felt 100% the past few days but have just carried on as normal. If I were to put it as a percentage I’d say I’m 25% not well. Due to a concern I had, I asked for a call back from the doctor.

At the end of our conversation, it became clear that I shouldn’t be working due to the nature of my job. On the advice of my doctor, I rung in sick. My boss wasn’t happy but I don’t wanna risk customer lives anymore then I may already have.

I’m 50/50 on this decision, (I’ve just thought of the TV show 50/50 then).

50% glad because I’m not putting anyone at unnecessary risk. I can put my all into the courses I’m doing. I get a lie in.

50% dread/anxious that I’ve let work down. I have that guilty feeling that I’m ill and taking the time off I need to get better. I have 2 days where I’m losing out on pay.

2. Unsettling News

The news is about our moving status. Good news the house is sold. Kick in the teeth news, I may feel unsettled more due to the fact of how it was said to me, “Ready to be homeless for 6 months?” Unsettling right?

It got me down, where I’m gonna have to live for possibly 6 months?


How I was told this information brings my mind to how best to have those big conversations. Time, thought and a plan are things I’m learning in Sarah Rozenthuler book “Life Changing Conversations”.

On that note, I may just read some more. While focusing on the positives of today. Thank you for reading <3.

 

The Big One

I’ve just gone and done what I said I wouldn’t do. I’ve signed up for another course. This course, however, is a big one. It could potentially help me to become a life coach officially.

How’d I come to signing up for the Ultimate Coach Programme? 

By a free webinar. A 90-minute webinar on steps to a coaching class. The further I got into the webinar, the more I felt excited and shakey. The programme wasn’t even mentioned until the last part when the main class had finished.

The positivity I felt, the discounted price with lifetime access and bonus content, live events plus more. I’m excited to start.

My only dilemma is Facebook. One part of the course had Q&As on Facebook. I don’t want to miss out so I have to figure out what I want to do about that. The coach on the programma, CC’d a support into the reply email to ask what I could do regarding Facebook.

A hard conversation with myself needs to be had.

 

Ritual, Body Love and Purpose

How do I already connect with myself?

Candles. Doggy cuddles. Journalling. Walking. Music. Reading.

How am I craving connection with myself?

Breathing. Exercise. Dancing. Singing. Set intentions. Body Love.

How do I already connect with my loved ones?

Conversations. Family meals. Group get-togethers.

What am I craving with my loved ones?

Openness.

How do I already connect with my higher power?

Journalling

How am I craving connection with my higher power?

Self-love. Self-care.


How am I loving, kind or respectful to my body?

Fruit. 3 meals a day. Paint nails. Walking. Sleep. Wear whats comfortable. Haircuts.

How am I mean, toxic or ignorant to/of my body? 

Junk food. Not hydrating enough. snacking. Lack of exercise. Not slowing down.

What are 3 small ways I could start listening to my body’s needs now?

Meditating. Have a good amount of water. Exercise.


What gifts do I bring to this world?

Organisation. Creativity.

How do I show up in all slices of life?

Emotional. Joy. Ambitious.

What would I like my life to be an example of?

Helping others evolve, feel free, and experience joy.

How do I honour my purpose?

Being a carer. Self-discovery.


Watched: Robocop > 3 out of 5