Goals, Life, Mental Health

Lone Trip to London

My lone trip to London and back for the UCP meet up has been a success. No anxiety attacks. I did have some worry thoughts at times but my overall thoughts were reduced.

My first hurdle came when arriving at the London Underground to find that the tube lines I was planning for were closed. My mind went into a whirlwind trying to read the underground map. I saw Paddington but couldn’t even see where I was.

Thankfully an attendant was close by for me to ask. Which got me to the hotel with 5 minutes to spare until the start time.

My next hurdle was the fact it was a large group. Here is where my mind goes on lockdown. To the block dark space, I cause myself to build when anxiety flares. I struggle to communicate and connect when there are large groups of people.

Today was no different. But my thoughts were more settled. I did start a couple of conversations up and a couple of people started with me too. But the majority of the other people had better connections then what I’m skilled at.

But I did it. I spent the whole day there and found the meet up interesting. I’ve always been a logical thinker, always a notebook in hand to write notes. It was different and very strange to sit there and listen to what’s going on in the here and now.

I feel I wanna continue this but think it may take time to adjust. Accept that my mind can take information, process and retain what I’ve heard or had insights on.

A big achievement for me today. Clocks changing early morning tomorrow, I feel I need the hour I’m gonna lose.

What’ve you achieved today?

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