Life, Mental Health, Writing

A Period of Doing Nothing

There was a period of time today where I did nothing. Absolutely, nothing and on purpose.

I’m someone who has to be doing something. Whether large or small my hands and mind need to be occupied. But doing something at every point of the day is wearing thin. It has been for years but it has only been now that my eyes are fully open to seeing so.

I’m causing my own mental illness by putting too much on myself all at once. Physically and mentally, I’m getting too low.

In my period of doing nothing, I laid on my bed for nearly 2 hours. I had set an alarm to allow me to switch off. Saving me worrying when I needed to get ready for work. I just laid there, eyes closed. My mind wondered. My mind came back to the present.

I felt the tension in my eyes. I felt I had relaxed.

During the period of nothing, I thought about the level 1 qualification I was starting in September. I’ve taken on so many other things over the last couple of years. I can’t even remember the last time I wasn’t trying to gain a qualification.

I’ve family health complications and we’re in the process of buying a house that needs gutting. Due to all this, I decided to inform the tutors I couldn’t commit 100% to the course and would have to delay my entry into the course.

Having this period of nothing helped me feel more alive and able to go for work. I even agreed to do an extra 1/2 hour. I feel this period of nothing is something I should be doing regularly.

It’s gonna benefit me in the long run. I feel I should have a day, even if it’s once a month where I say no to everything and have a me day. Do what I want to do, the things I love rather than the things I should be doing.

Have a period of nothing incorporated into the day and see where it takes me.

I even have the ground rule: Schedule me time and stick to it. I have been neglecting myself. Putting myself and my care on the back burner.

This needs to stop. If I take care of myself. I would be better able to help others.

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