Life, Mental Health


I didn’t go to the house today. I thought about it. But sitting curled up on the sofa with the dogs and a good book, appealed to me more. My eyes have been aching more. I feel having so many early mornings aren’t agreeing with me.

I finally did a food shop for the 1st time in nearly 2 weeks. I posted a letter, I’d written to E. But I also declined going out this evening.

With my early mornings and my mindset it’s a good things to rest. I just don’t want to make it a habit.

Dave was at the house waiting for the delivery of timber. He got a few things done. I have organised with B to do a couple more hours Friday. Hoping to finish the removing of wallpaper. It’s gonna be a busy weekend. I hope my eyes last.

Goals, Life

Ticks on a to-do list

We now have a main bedroom door. No more walking through bedroom 2 to get to it. Originally, there was a partition wall but 1) it was built on top of the carpet and 2) I wanted it down.

In a week’s time the electrician is starting his work. We’ve still got a bit to do before he comes. It’s gonna be a fun packed few days. Need to get my motivation into gear.

By having no telly Tuesday today, I did get a few things ticked off my to-do list. I’ve paid an invoice, wrote a reply to my best friends from the birthday card she sent from July. I did an upper body workout for the 1st time, well probably this year. I so found my oldest fluff ball needs to see the vet for her teeth. That was a shock when I opened her month.

I also applied for a job. The hunt still continues. I’ve only been looking a couple of weeks. I’ll find one soon. I do have a job so it’s not like I have to be in a rush.

Life, Mental Health


I’m going back into my head. My mind is going to the negative extreme thoughts. Of things going wrong, something bad happening to others or me being ill. It’s effecting my mood. What I’m doing or saying.

I’ve been to the house. I did finish off the second bedroom wall paper removing. A part of me nearly didn’t. A part of me is just wanting to curl up in bed, stick the telly on and forget about everything or one around me. I’m going through some amazing life things in my life. But I can’t seem to get the joy out of me.

I’m reverting in on myself again. I need and want the thoughts to go away.

The good things that happened today:

  1. The gas meter got changed
  2. A bit more of the house got done
  3. Dave and I spent time watching telly together
  4. We had a meal together
  5. Alfie came to have a cuddle
  6. I said no thank you to photographers I queried on
  7. I’m starting a new book

Watched: The Jurassic Games > 2 out of 5



I felt a bit deserted by my other half this weekend. I know I’ve been working but I’ve spent time at home. I’ve come back this evening he’s still not home. It’s great he’s seeing his parents. He doesn’t need to spend nights over when there’s not reason to.

He told me he’s coming back this evening but I have no idea when and he’s not replying to my messages. He’s said he’s bringing me a plate from Sunday dinner. By the time he’s back I might not want to eat.

I’m being paranoid and a bitch.

The house is asbestos free. Me and my step dad went to B&Q to get what is needed for the week.

Finished: Don’t tell the bride to be by Anna Bell

Goals, Life

House: 2 weeks in

After putting my grandma in the bath; don’t worry the carers got her out. I went up to the house. I got the kitchen finished and started again in the 2nd bedroom, taking the wallpaper down. My step-dad and Dave meanwhile were collecting our order from B&Q. I got through one water container with the steamer. As I was working on the top half of the walls my arms where above my head. My neck and arms aches. I couldn’t think about filling the container up to carry on.

I helped my step-dad by taking his mess to the skip. After so many ups and downs on the stairs I was tired out. The dust isn’t helping my chest but boy am I out of fitness. There is currently a trial through the O2 app with nutrihealth. I’ve signed up to see if the different styles of work outs will help me stick with fitness.

My step-dad made a start on adding a door for the main bedroom by making a gap and putting the lindle in. Then the stood wall for the 3rd bedroom came down. We’re filling up the 3rd skip a little slower this time. It’s been 2 weeks since we got the keys. I’m impressed of how much we’ve got done. If it wasn’t for my family we wouldn’t have gotten so far on the budget we have. If it wasn’t for them I don’t think we’d have got the house.

Goals, Life


Going to YAS each month gives me the feeling I’m contributing in something to help the animals I see.

This trip, Blossom wasn’t thrilled about me going near her bed. Once I got out of her field, I had to wait until she’d gone to bed to allow me to get her food bowl. It’s like she’s hot a troubled mind and I don’t know how to rid her of her troubles.

The cockerel was being himself. Defending his territory, given at the time I was already leaving his area. I have to be on guard the whole time.

Lovely Delilah, at 2 years old, isn’t used to being handled. I was told this while she had been calmly in my arms for a few minutes.

This afternoon it was back to the house. B came to help me. We were taking wallpaper down in the kitchen. Thanks to B I nearly finished it. O only had 3 areas left then the steamer decided to cut out. Clearly it had had enough for the day.

The skip had been changed, the cellar emptied. The garden, slightly tidied some more. The living is ready for the plaster boards getting collected in the morning.

Goals, Life

It’s all coming along.

The wedding photographer is booked. After the phone call this morning we were both happy to choose him. He does what we’d like and at a reasonable rate. There was one quote we got at £3000! I thought the £1350 was bad just for a digital package. One less thing to think about.

I had a break from the house today. Catching up with the washing. It’s helped me relax and spend time for myself.

One of the asbestos quotes got back to me today. £2152 was quoted. I sent this to my mum who, I found out later, spoke to my step dad. Him being gobsmacked about the price peaked the interest of his colleague who wanted to know why. He came back with some helpful advice.

Some council tips do accept asbestos material when they receive notice of a 24 hour period, so they can close the site down. Them accepting this at not cost for us. I believe, don’t quote me on that, means we can do it ourselves. It also needs to be secured in a way they’ll accept. In this case it needs to be double secured in heavy duty sheets, wrapped up tight.

The person needs to wrapped up themselves in safety gear, masks, overalls, goggles, gloves etc. Only the person in said outfit is allowed in the property. My step dad said he would do it. I brought the heavy duty sheets costing me £68; a big difference to the quote above.

Tomorrow starts another couple of days of house sorting. In the afternoon B and I are going to get to work on the kitchen wallpaper. The skip is getting changed again too. Filling it up will be the next task. The cellar will be getting emptied.

On Saturday, Dave and my step dad are collecting the 50 sheets of plasterboard we’ve ordered. Fingers crossed the lindle for over the door way is ready to collect too. These will be starting to go up soon. Then Sunday my step dad is removing the asbestos. Monday the utility appointment to change the pre-payment meter to a standard meter. I so want to start marking out the electrics for the electrician. It’s all coming along.