Life, Stratejoy, Writing

Do you know your purpose?

This morning I did the purpose circle done by Molly Mahar over at Stratejoy. Her community circles are always thought provoking for me.

My intention for doing this circle was to have more understanding of what I’d like for myself and my purpose. To answer the questions to help me get there, understand the meaning and to help me fall in love with my life.

During the circle Molly read a lovely essay she’d written. From this essay I thought I didn’t fully understand my true purpose. That my messy but beautiful life is going in the right direction. When I know my purpose, I’ll know, that’ll lead me to know which way to continue on my path. That my purpose doesn’t have to effect a wide circle. That it’s allowed to be small.

Right now, purpose for me feels guilty because I don’t know mine. That it’s a job I should be doing. That I need to be living and breathing it 24/7. Guilty that I’m not. That I’m just living.

I got stumped on what my memories were where I was using my gifts. What have I done to show these? My memory isn’t good. My past fades quickly. When others have said good things about my life, it’s been for helping animals or others. That I’ll be a good nurse, kindness and good as an admin.

Do I listen to what life is telling me? I feel I have some moments of listening. But majority of the time I miss the signs and gloss over hearing what could have been said.

So far from the circle, I’ve realised that I don’t have to have a big purpose that effects others. I should listen to what life is telling me. That my purpose doesn’t have to be my job. It could be a way of living, of which parts can be expressed through my job. The authentic, kind and helpful part of me, I know to be true about who I am and why I am here. That my family and mental health is something that means a lot for me. That I want to help in the world, so it can be a better place.

I try to control everything. I’m an undecided person, I need to listen more. I guess I’m scared of failing but also succeeding. Pretending I’m not on the right path when deep down I know what is wrong.

With doing this circle, it’s helped me think more of my purpose. It makes me want to set a purpose statement. I want to get out of my head, feel I have a connection with my life.

New Goal > set a purpose statement

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