Life, Writing

My Impostor Complex

Everyone has a different perception of what mess is. When you feel messy, no one else knows now messy but you. We think other people are judging us for how messy we are. No one is. They’re thinking the same. I’ve been told this an impostor syndrome/complex.

That internalisation and discounts in excellence is the complex at work. The opposite is unshakable confidence. Well, I certainly don’t have that. If my understanding of the impostor complex is correct, I have it. I may not show behaviours all the time but I go through stages where this would be the case.

These internalised failures and discounted of excellence need to be confronted. Confront the lies, I believe and actions/behaviours I do. Thinking about what I am deeply capable of which, will be more then I realise. When we’re surrounded by those we trust, ask for their help; be together. Those around me want me to succeed. I need to let them. Accepting their help, won’t kill me.

The confidence comes from alignment. But do I have alignment in all I do? Is there gonna be work that’ll bring out the impostor complex? Most likely. But will it give me joy, gratefulness, gratitude or a sense of connection leading to alignment? If so then I want to be doing it, no matter what.

I won’t be alone. There are people around me going through the same. I need to decide to strive. Stop letter the impostor complex have the upper hand. Put the work in by doing the work that I love; that aligns with my truth. I need to allow myself to choose what I want to do with what’s in front of me. I may choose to go back, to stay or to quit. Whichever decision I make is okay.

I need to celebrate where I am and want more for myself. Stop apologising and comparing to others.


Watched: The Shanghai Job > 1.5 out of 5

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