Family: A Big Part of Me

I got to spend some time with my family today. Brining cherish and joy into my life. Previously when the family have come round for dinner I’m off doing something else or stay in my room. I didn’t do that today.

My mum and I were able to have a mini shopping trip to the local retail centre. Spending mother/daughter time is not something we’re able to do as regular now. Busy lives and all that. Considering we live in the same house right now, I feel that is very poor.

After our time together, my grandparents came to dinner. Usually the time I go hide. But I stayed and became apart of the evening. Due to working this evening there were a few odd jobs I needed to do to get ready.

Other than that, and with my phone up in my room, I was with them until I left for work.

I need to do that more especially since I’ve missed my friends birthday celebrations due to working. I need to make the most of every opportunity I get to spend time with those I love. I can’t cherish and joy my life without them. They’re a big part of me.

Less Thinking. More Being in the Now.

I’ve tried not to think too much today. When a thought came into my head, even a judgement, I’ve tried to let it pass. If it wasn’t something to act on, I wouldn’t think about it. Working towards that mindfulness.

I’ve really enjoyed today. I volunteered at the animal shelter, spent some time with my grandma.

I have thoughts of safeness when with her as I could tell she’s declined since I last saw her. But I had a mini think about it. Thinking: I’m missing out on the time spent with her. Get back to listening.

Then I had lunch with B. We made pizza, watched The BFG and played a new game for me; labyrinth. So much fun. B doesn’t like it but I won twice. I told her about my blog and the course I’ve just signed up for.

Dave messed up with some instructions I gave. I didn’t think of that or blame him when I found out. Had a joke about it instead. Then we went to friends for dinner and played Halo Monopoly. 4 adults got beat by a 7-year-old. It was a great laugh.

I’m tired from a long busy day. I feel I would be more mentally tired if I was thinking more through the day though.

Focusing on the Positive. Expelling the Negative

With help from Dave and one of the coach course admins, I’ve figured out my Facebook dilemma. I’ve set up a new account just for the course group with a change of name, which they gave advice on.

Another good thing today is I passed my second go at my Unit 4 of my CBT course. Two good things have happened today.

O wait, I’ve just thought of a third.

My trip to the garage ended with a tire puncture repair rather than a whole new tire. I’m glad about that.

I’m grateful for these three things which I’m trying to put to the front of my mind, rather than the two not so grateful information I’ve had today. To keep things positive I should just stop there and focus on the positive only.

For me to stay in the positive, I need to express my negative too. To enable me to process and let go of bad energy.

  1. Not feeling well

I woke up in the night not well. I’ve not felt 100% the past few days but have just carried on as normal. If I were to put it as a percentage I’d say I’m 25% not well. Due to a concern I had, I asked for a call back from the doctor.

At the end of our conversation, it became clear that I shouldn’t be working due to the nature of my job. On the advice of my doctor, I rung in sick. My boss wasn’t happy but I don’t wanna risk customer lives anymore then I may already have.

I’m 50/50 on this decision, (I’ve just thought of the TV show 50/50 then).

50% glad because I’m not putting anyone at unnecessary risk. I can put my all into the courses I’m doing. I get a lie in.

50% dread/anxious that I’ve let work down. I have that guilty feeling that I’m ill and taking the time off I need to get better. I have 2 days where I’m losing out on pay.

2. Unsettling News

The news is about our moving status. Good news the house is sold. Kick in the teeth news, I may feel unsettled more due to the fact of how it was said to me, “Ready to be homeless for 6 months?” Unsettling right?

It got me down, where I’m gonna have to live for possibly 6 months?

How I was told this information brings my mind to how best to have those big conversations. Time, thought and a plan are things I’m learning in Sarah Rozenthuler book “Life Changing Conversations”.

On that note, I may just read some more. While focusing on the positives of today. Thank you for reading <3.


48 Hours Together

It’s rare when we get a whole 48 hours together. Dave works every Saturday, me every other weekend. We don’t get a whole weekend together without booking it off. When I am off on a weekend, I’m spending apart of my day figuring out what I wanna do.

There are times I love having the time to myself. Others I feel its an inconvenience.

Our first 48 hours off together in 2018. It’s been a blessing. I’ve felt more relaxed by our relationship and with the whole time together. Each day we had an event to go to. I usually stress over these too.

But I’ve had fun. Even with the adulting as well. Tomorrow is another day of family celebration. Feeling positive about #joy2018.

Watched: Pitch Perfect 3 > 3 out of 5

Feelings Stay Longer Then Memories

I’ve just finished writing a letter to one of my Great Aunt and Uncle to see if Dave and I could possibly stay with them for a few nights in March.

It’s been nearly 2 years since we saw them last. If we were able to stay, we may have the chance to visit Monkey World. Meaning that an attraction we want to visit can be crossed off my Travel List.

Even though I can’t remember the memories of going over to see my Great Aunt and Uncle when I was younger. Even with the pictures I have. I can feel my love and happiness every time I think of them.

I may not remember exact details, the feelings I feel is enough for me to know they were a great time.

I’m Moving

When I come home to be asked to sit down, I’ve either got good or bad news coming my way. When I heard this news I was speechless. I didn’t know what to say or think. The news “I’ve made an executive decision that we’re moving” from my mum.

I was stumped. I’ve lived in this house for 7 years and it’s felt like home. Thankfully, they are thinking of moving closer to the main city but not quite centre. They’re thinking long term. The new house is for them until it is their time to go.

Good for them. They are thinking about what’s best for them and going after it.

I’m thankful because it means I don’t have to rush into finding my own place so quick, potentially not being able to afford to. I think in the now it’s the New Year, I’d like to talk to a mortgage broker. See what options we have.

Yes, we’re still working things out and the last few days since I’ve spoken to Dave about my feelings and to B about my wondering mind. I’ve felt better by us and haven’t wondered so much. Good progress?

Since I’ve been told the news about moving. It’s been full steam ahead. Valuers have been to look around. They’ve been stalking properties. Made a plan to what needs sorting in the home before photos are taken. They’ve spoken to the mortgage adviser.

I had another speechless moment when my mum said I’ll need to de-personalise my room. I didn’t know how to take that. I know it’s the moving/viewing process. But the fact I have to de-personalise something was quite a shock. I’m trying to figure out who I am but de-personalising myself. Wow, that is a big thing.

Fingers crossed it’ll only be for a short time. The moving van will be here in no time by the sounds of it. A change I’ll have to get used to. I’ll miss my room.

Watched: Alien: Covenant – 2.5 out of 5.

If today was your last day….

“If today was your last day,
And tomorrow was your last day,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past,
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories,
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find the one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and downto God above,
That you finally fell in love

If today was your last day”  — Nickleback

I would want to gather all my loved ones together and have some fun. Whether it was having a film day, game day (card or board games for the win), pig out on food, have a few drinks, smile, laughter and joy.

I’d wanna spend my last day with the people who make me happy. Have no worries, problems or have no urge to micromanage.

Calm. Ease. Happiness. Fun. Laughter. Positivity. Love.

A few words I want my life to be about.

If today was your last day, What would you do?