I’ve tried not to think too much today. When a thought came into my head, even a judgement, I’ve tried to let it pass. If it wasn’t something to act on, I wouldn’t think about it. Working towards that mindfulness.
I’ve really enjoyed today. I volunteered at the animal shelter, spent some time with my grandma.
I have thoughts of safeness when with her as I could tell she’s declined since I last saw her. But I had a mini think about it. Thinking: I’m missing out on the time spent with her. Get back to listening.
Then I had lunch with B. We made pizza, watched The BFG and played a new game for me; labyrinth. So much fun. B doesn’t like it but I won twice. I told her about my blog and the course I’ve just signed up for.
Dave messed up with some instructions I gave. I didn’t think of that or blame him when I found out. Had a joke about it instead. Then we went to friends for dinner and played Halo Monopoly. 4 adults got beat by a 7-year-old. It was a great laugh.
I’m tired from a long busy day. I feel I would be more mentally tired if I was thinking more through the day though.
Home photos were done. I was able to put back some of my things. It definitely feels good to have my mark in my room.
Today was also a day when one of my close friends read my blog for the first time. I plucked up the courage to tell him about my world here yesterday. Hearing him be positive about what I’ve written. He said that it helped him understand me a little more on my mental health.
He asked me if anyone else I personally knew had read it. To my knowledge only one other. G (my friend) said that my friend B should read it. I said I’d try and tell her when I next see her.
That stage fright settles in when thinking about it.
Both G and B are trusted friends. I feel if I don’t tell B soon, it may be harder for me to say in the future.
I’ve thought about sending a text. But I would rather talk to her face-to-face. Build my confidence up on talking about my blog to those I know.
Getting it all off my chest felt great. Talking with B about my feelings towards my relationship was like a weight taken off my shoulders. No solutions were figured out. But that doesn’t matter to me.
Being comfortable with someone. Being able, to be honest, and know whatever you say isn’t gonna leave the other person. Certainly found a true friend in B.
A Pizza Hut and a good old gossip. What every girl needs.
We went to the Trafford Centre, a shopping centre that was new for me. Also had a new style of food to me as well. We went to Pesto an Italian Tapas. I liked the idea of getting a couple of little things to try. Between the 3 of us, we got to try new dishes.
On the way there, I learnt that my 2 friends wanted to try the indoor skydiving and possibly tandem skydiving. It’s something I’ve thought about in the past before but I’ve not said anything.
I’m going to add skydiving to My Dreams list.
It’s something I wanna do and it potentially has been set into motion with my friends.
During the car rides, I noticed my friends singing. You know, that singing to yourself but allowed enough that others can hear you at times. Yesterday, I finished reading The Gift of Imperfection by Brene Brown about Wholehearted Living.
Hearing my friends sing this way, gave me an unspoken permission to start right there an then to live wholeheartedly. So I sang and had a little dance to myself in the car. (I was a passenger and didn’t distract the driver).
Maybe wholehearted living should be my theme for the year 2018.
Wholehearted – fully or completely sincere, enthusiastic, energetic, etc. Hearty, ernest
What do you think about wholehearted living? Do you practice it?
“If today was your last day,
And tomorrow was your last day,
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past,
Donate every dime you have?
Would you call old friends you never see?
Reminisce old memories,
Would you forgive your enemies?
Would you find the one you’re dreamin’ of?
Swear up and downto God above,
That you finally fell in love
If today was your last day” — Nickleback
I would want to gather all my loved ones together and have some fun. Whether it was having a film day, game day (card or board games for the win), pig out on food, have a few drinks, smile, laughter and joy.
I’d wanna spend my last day with the people who make me happy. Have no worries, problems or have no urge to micromanage.
Calm. Ease. Happiness. Fun. Laughter. Positivity. Love.
A few words I want my life to be about.
If today was your last day, What would you do?
Had a lovely day with Dave and our friends. We went to Leeds German Market, looked around the craft fair in the museum and had a nosey in some shops. Fun, food and laughter. Got a few Christmas presents. Only my parents left to buy for.
Once home, I wrapped up some presents, completed my appraisal form and did an hour of CBT course.
Without realising it till now, I’ve done things towards my goals, got some to-do-list items done and had fun in a day without being stressed or feeling overloaded. No should be doing this or that.
If I can do it today then I can do it other days too.
I’ve thought of a couple of things I’d like to try and had a couple of films suggested to me to add to my goals and ground rules page.
Try a kickboxing class
Try a pole dancing class
Watch Fox and the Hound
How’s your day been?
Cooking has been my theme for the day. I really enjoyed it and learnt new things. My first spell in the kitchen was with my mum baking. I made buns, a cake and mince pies.
I’d never made mince pies before. It was interesting to learn. I myself don’t like them but Dave does. So it’ll be nice to make them for him in the future.
My next spell in the kitchen was making a Pork and Apple one pot. It was gorgeous. The flavours were amazing. I really enjoyed cooking from scratch. It does take me longer to make then the times stated in the cook books. Dave helped to prep. It was nice to spend the time together.
Our friends left happy, which was great. See what we come out with tomorrow.