My Shift Plan

Through the Courage Council. I learnt about Kate Swoboda. She’s another life coach who focuses on courage as a habit. I found her free resource, The Shift Plan, helpful.

I knew there were things in my life I wanted to shift. This plan helped me to see others by breaking life up into sections. Here I want to share with you My Shift Plan. That, in one year’s time, we can see the shifts that I’ve made.

Personal Growth/Fulfilment/How I feel about me

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where I am/I feel…

I’d like to be more easeful, patient and gentler with myself and the things within my life. I’d like to be more confident in my abilities and speaking up for myself. To be proud, have a sense of fulfilment and all-around happiness. Work towards my goals and being me.

Most Important:

I’d like to be more confident in my abilities and speaking up for myself.

Intimate and Romantic Relationships

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where I am/I feel…

A new level of intimacy to receive and give pleasure. Be patient with my partner limitations. Love unconditionally. Make my requests heard.

Most Important:

A new level of intimacy to receive and give pleasure.

Personal Relationships / Friendships

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to where my relationships with others are/feel…

Cherished. Speaking up for what’s right. Saying no to uncomfortable requests. Being committed to all. Keep the promises I make. Not make promises I know I cannot keep.

Most Important:

Saying no to uncomfortable requests

Career / Work in the World

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where…

I have stability and love for my job at the same time. Have a balance between work and life. To help others while still being true to myself.

Most Important:

Have stability and love for my job at the same time.

Money / Abundance

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where…

I have control over money. Budget, plan and be at ease with my income. I’d like to use the money to treat us to holidays and trips out. Allow money to help me be more me.

Most Important:

Be at ease with my income.


I would love to do Kate’s Courageous Life Program. Unfortunately, it’s not gonna be able to fit in the budget for a while. Anything, I can learn and complete in the meantime, like The Shift Plan, I’m gonna do.

 

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New Goals

 

Saying the Negativity will Change isn’t Enough

Negativity isn’t good for me. It’s hard to get out of my mindset when I’ve dug myself so deeply. Reaching the way out is impossible.

I ended the day yesterday in such a negative mindset I didn’t write. I moaned to Dave and friends, my negativity. They tired putting positive spins on things. Usually, I would see the positives. No matter what, that negative cloud couldn’t be broken.

I’m not taking proper care of myself. Yesterday, I was asked, last minute, if I would go for to a 2-hour call. It was a good call but I still said no. I used that time to go out with my mum, walking the dogs.

The closer I got to leave for work, already on my rota, that negative mindset got darker and darker. I moaned at every little thing. It took me a while to get to sleep that night.

I didn’t wanna get up this morning knowing I had a busy day at work. My cloud had turned grey. I’ve still been moaning. I took on extra work, I’m tired and just remembered I have my pack up to sort for tomorrow. Plus a funeral to go to tomorrow.

I’m sat here thinking there’s gotta be more to life than this. I know there is. But when it comes to taking care of myself. I put myself on the back burner. Help others out first and say yes to things I most likely shouldn’t.

I say this needs to change. It does! But saying isn’t enough. I need to do! I need to take care of myself.

 

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New Goals

 

What I mean is when I’m asked to do something or be involved in something I need to follow my ground rules of my self-care and love for myself.

Past, Present or Future?

I am pleased to say: I have started working on a couple of my goals. To make it easier and to, well, worry less. I am making notes of what I do in my calendar. I hope that doesn’t become an obsession. 

I started my Overcoming: Anxiety, Stress and Panic workbook. I’ve only got to page 6 and I’m already journalling. I’ve just finished the worry and stress checklist. 10 questions; 9 with the answer of YES and 1 with the answer of SOMETIMES.

Let’s just say that meant I have problems with worry and stress.

Reading blogs and the 6 pages of the workbook, I came across a theme about worrying about the past. It got me thinking: Do I worry about the past, present or future the most?

The Past > I try to avoid it. But I think that is a post for another time.

The Present > I certainly worry and stress about what does or doesn’t happen right now.

The Future > It’s the future I wanna look at.

The Future

This is the one I tend to worry and stress over massively. This is what goes through my head often:

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I could go on. The future is scary. The unknown is scary. The future, the worry, the stress is affecting my present. Which will, in turn, affect my future. An endless cycle, I cannot seem to break. Not knowing how to stop going around in circles.

I’m mentally exhausted. Like I’m going crazy. Worrying about the future is a big thing for me. It’s something I need to tackle.

 

Christmas Cakes and a Frog

There’s one word that comes to mind when describing how my feelings towards the day were until the afternoon.

Meh

Thankfully that ‘meh’ feeling did change to a sense of ease. Usually, ‘meh’ days are spent in bed. Even though I didn’t feel a sense of determination. I did get on and do things today. Full disclosure: having my mum and step-dad around helped.

I went with my mum and step-dad to my sisters to see my nephew and my 11-week old niece I had not met yet.  Had some cuddles. From there we went to see my step-grandparents. All good on the catch-up front.

When we got home my mum wanted to start making a batch of Christmas cakes. Instead of just going to bed and watching telly. I asked if she’d like a hand. My mum taught me how to make the Christmas cakes.

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I can’t remember everything step by step. The more I do things the better that will become. I enjoyed it. It was like therapy. I started off ‘meh’ and finished off feeling at ease.

I spent the whole time focusing on what I needed to do. None of the little things going through my head like they normally are.

This feeling of ease continued for the rest of the evening. I started making Mental Health First Aid notes, did my breathing techniques and did two hours of my job today.

On my way home, I posted a couple of letters and noticed a frog on the pavement. This is usually things I miss when out and about. I tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to tasks and jobs.

My mindfulness isn’t the best. But today I saw something that interested me and I took a photo. So here you are, to end my post today is the picture of well I wanna say Mr, Frog but it could be a Mrs, Frog.

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Check up with my Doctor

I went to my doctors yesterday about seeing how I was doing on my anti-depressants. It’s been about 5 weeks now. I’ve blogged about my leg twitches, my headaches and sickness. I’ve been having chest pains too.

All of these I mentioned. He believes they are symptoms of my stress and anxiety. As anxiety, fear and stress are my overpowering issues. He has recommended a self-help book by Christopher Williams: Overcoming Anxiety, Stress and Panic.

My doctor showed me the first edition of the Overcoming Depression book by the same author. It looked good. Has questions and activities to complete. My doctor also said if I have any questions from doing the workbook. I should write them down and book an appointment to see him.

I thought that was really good. He wants to help me get better and answering questions about what I’ve done or don’t understand is something he is willing to do. So far, other doctors, I’ve met, I feel like I couldn’t do that.

They want you in and out as quick as possible. He wants me to come back just to chat if I need it.

Another thing he would like me to do is work on slowing down my breathing. That breathing is going back to haunt me. Think I need to listen. I breathe too fast. Which isn’t helped by stress or anxiety. In turn, causes my headaches and chest pains.

I’ve been working on this today. I’m even doing it now. Breathing in for 3 seconds and then out for 3 seconds. One breath cycle should be 6 seconds; 10 breaths a minute. I can do between 20 and 40 breaths a minute normally.

No wonder I feel panicked all the time. I noticed I feel a little calmer after a few minutes of breathing slowly. Unfortunately, I go back to my fast breathing if I’m not being mindful of it.

A new goal. It’s been a while since I made one of those. 

Goal: Slow my breathing down to 10 breaths a minute

It may be hard in the long run but hopefully having the foal will mean I practice the breathing techniques. Having the sense of relaxation would be a bonus.

An Act of Courage

I worked on my courage today. It was one of my actions I needed to do for week 1. There are usually things I see in my head of which I can do with all the confidence in the world.

But actually doing them is a different story. Most things I struggle to do on my own. When I actually do whatever it is, it builds my confidence up. Slowly, but it’s up.

One of my confidence builders is: go against my brain/thoughts to complete something.

Today, I went to the cinema by myself. I love going to the cinema. Usually, I’m with my other half or friends. I’ve seen others go by themselves. I always think how brave they are.

A part of me thought “yep, I can do that.”

Going by myself today was my act of courage. I thought “I can do this!” I pre-booked my seat so I didn’t have to queue. One step at a time. 

When I was due to go my chest became painful. I was breathing heavy. I had to go to their bathroom before I went into the screen to use my inhaler. To calm down.

In the end I did it. I sat through the film and enjoyed it. Recommend Girls Trip. I had in my head that people were judging me.

The more I do things, my courage and confidence will grow. I’ll get out of that mindset.

Have you ever been to the cinema by yourself? How’d you feel?

Monthly and Q3 Review: September 2017

The review is slightly different this month as it’s the end of a quarter. I believe I’m getting better at answering questions about myself and how things have gone.

Quarter 3:

I’m starting to be the woman I want to be. I’m starting to get physically and mentally healthy. I’m starting to be honest with all and standing up for myself and who I want to be.

I’ve still a long way to go.

I’ve had some good memories with my mental and physical health goals this quarter.

  • Started walking the dogs again
  • Liking the feeling after completing yoga
  • Getting the courage to ask for help when I’ve needed it

I did find my lack of motivation challenging as well as getting the courage to speak up. I found it difficult accepting I needed to go back onto anti-depressants.

I honoured my theme of the year: Cherish and my ways of being this quarter, meaningful, healthy, at ease, connected, listening. Not just on my mental and physical health goals but in general and with my other goals too. You can now see my Goal List from the menu option. 

September:

Has been a mixture of ups and downs. The hardest being my Grandma C passing away. The other downs:

  • Not going to a friends birthday celebration due to having a bad day
  • Having bad days that meant I didn’t get out of bed
  • The stress of work leading up to and around the time of my Grandma passing

The Ups:

  • I’ve spent more time with my family and friends. Cherishing the time I have with them
  • Family and friends being there to support me
  • Getting a little further with my NVQ
  • Working on The Courage Council and doing the work
  • My self-care afternoon

I’ve now started doing a “blackboard” of tasks; which has been something I’ve come across the past two years of doing The Holiday Council but not doing myself. I’ve had a blackboard for a while and I would love a bigger one. My “blackboard” of tasks is a to-do-list of sorts. It has some of my goals on there as well as things I really need to do/think about.

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Overall:

A mixed month and an on the road to being myself quarter. Here’s to the next; the last of 2017. It’s certainly going quick. My two new goals for Q4 are:

  1. Speaking up
  2. Breathing techniques

I’m going to see how much of my to-do-list I do and if I add any more. As well as working on my goal list.

How was September for you?

Has Q3 treated you well?

What would you love to happen for the final quarter of 2017?