I’ve been thinking more about sharing the BSL videos I’ve made. I’ve made them for myself, to aid in my learning. To be able to continue once my course has finished. These videos are helping me and maybe they’ll help others.
I’m not a teacher or certified in BSL. I’m completing an introductory course. I gotta start somewhere. I’ve shared the first video with my friend to get his thoughts. Dave likes them. Will have to see what my friend thinks.
Each video isn’t long. I feel I wanna share them on my blog first until I’ve done them all. Maybe once a week. After that, and allowing my courage to grow, share with a larger audience.
When completing the videos, I do my voice ones then made a muted copy. I’d like to edit them to allow me to type the sign. But I’ve never done that before. I wouldn’t even know where to start.
I’m on the journey to learn. My course finished in July. I think I’d like to start sharing my videos with you by then.
Watch this space.
I’ve just gone and done what I said I wouldn’t do. I’ve signed up for another course. This course, however, is a big one. It could potentially help me to become a life coach officially.
How’d I come to signing up for the Ultimate Coach Programme?
By a free webinar. A 90-minute webinar on steps to a coaching class. The further I got into the webinar, the more I felt excited and shakey. The programme wasn’t even mentioned until the last part when the main class had finished.
The positivity I felt, the discounted price with lifetime access and bonus content, live events plus more. I’m excited to start.
My only dilemma is Facebook. One part of the course had Q&As on Facebook. I don’t want to miss out so I have to figure out what I want to do about that. The coach on the programma, CC’d a support into the reply email to ask what I could do regarding Facebook.
A hard conversation with myself needs to be had.
A couple of weeks ago I decided to start doing BSL videos of my own to help me with my learning. So that, when I’ve completed the course and my access goes I have something visual to look back at. Refresh my memory.
I had done the alphabet video. After completing I wrote about caring what others thought of me. Doing the video did bring out my lack of self-confidence and anxiety.
I’ve had another go.
I’ve taken the advantage of an empty home to complete all of the videos of the lessons I’ve done so far. I had fun doing them. Even thought of being more enthusiastic about sharing them.
But me being me, the perfectionist wants to do it the right way. I thought maybe to do a little BSL series for when I’ve completed all my own lessons. It’s something to think about.
Watched: Dark Signal > 1 out of 5
Ennui – a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement
A new word for me. I’ve certainly felt boredom, lethargy, restlessness and weariness. The list could have a few more. I go through stages where I feel these.
I believe restlessness is where I’ve been at over the past few days. I’m at a point again where I’ve put a load of things on myself, instead of going through each, which I’m doing slowly. But yet again I’m adding more.
In my MCS: Part 1 I wrote about becoming a life coach, helping others achieve their dreams.
Albeit I’m doing steps to achieve my dreams. How can I help others achieve their goals if I can’t do what I preach? I need to do some serious talking with myself, get myself together.
That’s the person I am. I take on more things at the wrong times. Spending money and trying to create more time then what’s available to me. No wonder I feel tired, stressed and overloaded.
I put extra things on myself before I’ve finished the other courses, goals or work. My body has decided to take on a cold as well. Prioritise relaxation and Me Time!! That’s what I need to do.
Is there something you need to prioritise?
After 4 hours spend with my NVQ assessor, I’ve done 14% more with a total of 75% complete. 2 more set meetings, which she says I may finish in February rather then March/April time when I first asked if I could finish any earlier.
I’m so glad it’s been moved up a month. It’s given me that light at the end of the tunnel feeling. That early next year I can potentially look for another job and tick completion of my NVQ off my goal list.
Wanting courage within myself. That is something I want to embody. To have courage fight through my fear and anxiety. To have it as an instinct rather than that part of me that gets shut behind a door.
Watching Kate Courageous in one of her videos got me thinking about why my courage is behind a closed door. She speaks of her fear routines. Surely I need to understand before I can conquer. Looking at her fear routines, I can’t really pinpoint an exact one I fall into. I have parts in all.
I believe my number 1 is THE SABOTEUR: I try new things or start something but never finish or get to the end then don’t use it. Would have saved me a lot of education debt. All because of fear. Those negative thoughts going through my head. I start things then quit to do something else regardless if I wanna do it anymore. There are times I underperform. Mainly when I’m getting towards my low moods.
But my number 2 THE PERFECTIONIST comes though. At these times the perfectionist helps. But I haven’t worked out how to stop or at least slow it down. I go from underperforming to overperforming. Getting into the drive where I need to be and do better. That I have to do the job, get it done, even though another could have done it exactly the same way. But I need to know that it is perfect. Going into the mindset that I need to do even when I know it’s not right.
I’m not sure which way around to put my number 3 and 4. Could I have a joint one? Have THE MARTER and THE PESSIMIST at the same level.
THE MARTER: I clearly have a saboteur pattern as this is my number 1. I give to others and no go after what I want. This I have reduced slightly. I give to others but am starting to go after what I want. I’m glad I wrote this. I believe THE MARTER is my number 4.
Number 3 has to be THE PESSIMIST: My negative thoughts and anxiety help to rule THE PESSIMIST in me. I get the “things don’t work out for me” feeling. That the world is out to get me. Tests me.
I feel my number 2-4 lead me to the point that they help my SABOTEUR. That it’s feeding off my other fear routines. Now I need to figure out how to cut these fear routines down to open up my courage.
That’s for another day. Do you have any of these fear routines? Do you have your own?