Tattoo: Part 2

I went for the final sitting of my tattoo. I went by myself this time. The shading is complete. The colouring, however, isn’t I’m gonna have to have a third sitting. That one should be the end of them.

I handled the shading very well. It was the colouring I found too much. The tattoo artist could tell as well. Least it’ll be done. Least it’ll be done for the summer.


Watched: The Hurricane Heist > 4 out of 5

Still, on the fence about moving

Still, on the fence about the day, we’re moving. The buyers have paid their deposit. It’s their solicitor that’s delaying the process. We won’t know until tomorrow to see if it’s going ahead or if the date is changing. That’ll be an interesting work call. Will see what the outcome is.

Tomorrow I’m getting my tattoo finished. Can’t wait to see it complete. Just like part 1, I’ll be showing the end result.

Moving Day in 5 Days

Accepting I can’t control things is harder done then said. Moving Day is in 5 days. I’ve been told we’re back to a maybe on that front. Apparently, the people buying our place still haven’t paid their deposit.

There’s nothing I can do to be certain that we’re moving in 5 days time. All I can do is wait. Positivity is helping with my control issues. Negativity is not a nice feeling.

I am the expert of my life

I am the expert of my life. Only I can learn, research and digest the information around me. I have to take action. I have to trust what I feel.

My actions, my feelings – Do they line up with my values and beliefs? When trying new things. Experimenting. Only I can feel if it’s light or heavy. If I’m on fire or feeling like I’m dragging a ball and chain.

Only I can let things go from my life. I don’t have to care about everything. I am the expert on my life. I have the answers on the inside. I am enough. I am worthy and deserving of love and acceptance. I am doing the best I can.

I am supported. I’m not alone. Feelings, goals, life can get messy. That’s OK.

Have a place to go. Have the space to allow myself to be messy. I am a friend to myself. I am allowed to be a beginner. I am allowed to make mistakes. Only I can tell myself otherwise.

We as a family will do this together

Family means the world to me. I’d do anything in a heartbeat for them. I was due to go to work after looking after my Grandma while my Grandad went to a funeral. However, that wasn’t the case.

I did look after my Grandma but my Grandad ended up going to hospital. After his dizzy spell the other night. It happened again today. Thankfully, he was at the doctors when it happened. They organised for him to go to the hospital.

Knowing this was gonna take time and my mum working away, I was the only one who could. I informed work I may have to give up two of my calls for the afternoon. They found a carer for the first call but not the second.

My Grandad was still waiting for his blood results. I was able to get a neighbour to help out, for me to do the call. On my way back, my Grandad was ready to go home. I picked him up. He needs a 24 hour heart monitor test but waiting for them to get in touch.

It wasn’t even tea time by the time I gave my final update with work. My grandparents didn’t want any more help. But work had covered 4 out of 6 of my morning calls for tomorrow without consulting me. I never asked for these to be covered.

I understand they need to have someone to all the customers but they could have waited longer. They would have still had enough time to cover them if I’d rung back at tea time to say otherwise. We work still 10 pm. There’s nothing I can do about it now.

My Grandad is OK for now. We’ve nothing to say otherwise. We’re doing what we can, when we can. We as a family will do this together.

 

Wedding Venue No 3

We went to our 3rd wedding fayre/venue today. I knew before going that we weren’t gonna be getting married there. Dave, however, hadn’t seen the place before or had a mini past with the place.

Thankfully he said on the way out that he preferred the other 2 we had seen. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a beautiful place Waterton Park Hotel. It’s above our price range really, disabled access would be tricker than the previous place and my memory of my old best friend due to being married there, me as maid of honour and 3 months before the wedding was cancelled.

I don’t have a positive view, well I’ll say memory as the place does have a lovely view. So far The Holmefield Arms is still our number one. We’ve still a few more to see yet. That all may change.


Watched: A Quiet Place > 4 out of 5
Octopussy > 3 out of 5

Family Gratitude

I’m grateful my Grandad felt he could ring to let us know he doesn’t feel right. As soon as the phone was down my mum was on her way round to stay the night. 111 phoned. On the doctor waiting list.

I’m grateful we’ve got family around to give support. I’m on standby if Grandad needs to see the doctor so I can stay with my Grandma. With my mum at theirs, she can help my Grandma while my Grandad rests.

I’ve also bee told my Uncle was in A&E today after a hot water bottle burst on his knee. 3 hours later, knee bandaged up. Blistering and yellow puss. He’s to go back in a couple of days.

We like to have things all happen at once in this family. History has shown this too. Why let it stop now.