My Shift Plan

Through the Courage Council. I learnt about Kate Swoboda. She’s another life coach who focuses on courage as a habit. I found her free resource, The Shift Plan, helpful.

I knew there were things in my life I wanted to shift. This plan helped me to see others by breaking life up into sections. Here I want to share with you My Shift Plan. That, in one year’s time, we can see the shifts that I’ve made.

Personal Growth/Fulfilment/How I feel about me

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where I am/I feel…

I’d like to be more easeful, patient and gentler with myself and the things within my life. I’d like to be more confident in my abilities and speaking up for myself. To be proud, have a sense of fulfilment and all-around happiness. Work towards my goals and being me.

Most Important:

I’d like to be more confident in my abilities and speaking up for myself.

Intimate and Romantic Relationships

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where I am/I feel…

A new level of intimacy to receive and give pleasure. Be patient with my partner limitations. Love unconditionally. Make my requests heard.

Most Important:

A new level of intimacy to receive and give pleasure.

Personal Relationships / Friendships

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to where my relationships with others are/feel…

Cherished. Speaking up for what’s right. Saying no to uncomfortable requests. Being committed to all. Keep the promises I make. Not make promises I know I cannot keep.

Most Important:

Saying no to uncomfortable requests

Career / Work in the World

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where…

I have stability and love for my job at the same time. Have a balance between work and life. To help others while still being true to myself.

Most Important:

Have stability and love for my job at the same time.

Money / Abundance

In one year’s time, I’d like to have shifted to a place where…

I have control over money. Budget, plan and be at ease with my income. I’d like to use the money to treat us to holidays and trips out. Allow money to help me be more me.

Most Important:

Be at ease with my income.


I would love to do Kate’s Courageous Life Program. Unfortunately, it’s not gonna be able to fit in the budget for a while. Anything, I can learn and complete in the meantime, like The Shift Plan, I’m gonna do.

 

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New Goals

 

An Act of Courage

I worked on my courage today. It was one of my actions I needed to do for week 1. There are usually things I see in my head of which I can do with all the confidence in the world.

But actually doing them is a different story. Most things I struggle to do on my own. When I actually do whatever it is, it builds my confidence up. Slowly, but it’s up.

One of my confidence builders is: go against my brain/thoughts to complete something.

Today, I went to the cinema by myself. I love going to the cinema. Usually, I’m with my other half or friends. I’ve seen others go by themselves. I always think how brave they are.

A part of me thought “yep, I can do that.”

Going by myself today was my act of courage. I thought “I can do this!” I pre-booked my seat so I didn’t have to queue. One step at a time. 

When I was due to go my chest became painful. I was breathing heavy. I had to go to their bathroom before I went into the screen to use my inhaler. To calm down.

In the end I did it. I sat through the film and enjoyed it. Recommend Girls Trip. I had in my head that people were judging me.

The more I do things, my courage and confidence will grow. I’ll get out of that mindset.

Have you ever been to the cinema by yourself? How’d you feel?

Monthly and Q3 Review: September 2017

The review is slightly different this month as it’s the end of a quarter. I believe I’m getting better at answering questions about myself and how things have gone.

Quarter 3:

I’m starting to be the woman I want to be. I’m starting to get physically and mentally healthy. I’m starting to be honest with all and standing up for myself and who I want to be.

I’ve still a long way to go.

I’ve had some good memories with my mental and physical health goals this quarter.

  • Started walking the dogs again
  • Liking the feeling after completing yoga
  • Getting the courage to ask for help when I’ve needed it

I did find my lack of motivation challenging as well as getting the courage to speak up. I found it difficult accepting I needed to go back onto anti-depressants.

I honoured my theme of the year: Cherish and my ways of being this quarter, meaningful, healthy, at ease, connected, listening. Not just on my mental and physical health goals but in general and with my other goals too. You can now see my Goal List from the menu option. 

September:

Has been a mixture of ups and downs. The hardest being my Grandma C passing away. The other downs:

  • Not going to a friends birthday celebration due to having a bad day
  • Having bad days that meant I didn’t get out of bed
  • The stress of work leading up to and around the time of my Grandma passing

The Ups:

  • I’ve spent more time with my family and friends. Cherishing the time I have with them
  • Family and friends being there to support me
  • Getting a little further with my NVQ
  • Working on The Courage Council and doing the work
  • My self-care afternoon

I’ve now started doing a “blackboard” of tasks; which has been something I’ve come across the past two years of doing The Holiday Council but not doing myself. I’ve had a blackboard for a while and I would love a bigger one. My “blackboard” of tasks is a to-do-list of sorts. It has some of my goals on there as well as things I really need to do/think about.

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Overall:

A mixed month and an on the road to being myself quarter. Here’s to the next; the last of 2017. It’s certainly going quick. My two new goals for Q4 are:

  1. Speaking up
  2. Breathing techniques

I’m going to see how much of my to-do-list I do and if I add any more. As well as working on my goal list.

How was September for you?

Has Q3 treated you well?

What would you love to happen for the final quarter of 2017?

 

Confidence

I started week one of The Courage Council today. The first five-minute task were prompts about believing in yourself. I wrote things down but I struggled to answer.

That realisation of not believing in myself or knowing what I’m proud of about myself. It’s disheartening to me. That positivity and strength, Molly was talking about. I lack within myself.

This needs to change!

The next task to write down the doubts I carry. Well, that wasn’t hard. I even kept going over time.

The doubts need to change to beliefs!

Again I found the same thing during the slices of life task. I was able to fill in my destroy and weakness boxes. The build and strength ones on the other hand only had one or two in or nothing at all.

I may have already started this work but I’ve already noticed something I need to improve upon.


I’ve always struggled with confidence but I thought I had belief in myself. I find simple things hard to do. Just like a moment ago for instance. I needed my neighbour to move her car to enable me to move mine, in order for my stepdad to get his van on the drive once he got home.

I went straight to panic mode. Even asked my mum if she’d do it. I knew the answer was gonna be no. I took a deep breath, put a big jumper on and went round.

My neighbour was lovely with it. Happy to move her car. Said she was even watching out for my stepdad to get home.

I don’t know why but I find speaking up, asking for what I want scary.

Let’s make a goal.

Goal: Do the things that scare me

It’s quite a broad goal but right now a lot of things scare me. I have a fear of baths remember. Big or small. I need to do them.

 

My Vicious Cycle

For the past 6 weeks, I’ve been going to counselling sessions called Positive Steps. I haven’t felt any different by going. Especially lately as I’ve felt I’ve been going backwards. I am to blame because I haven’t been doing the work.

That has changed.

I’ve started going through my booklet. Doing the work. So far I’ve read what stress is, why we get stressed, symptoms, low moods and anxiety.

It makes sense to me. I can relate to it.

I have completed the first task which is the vicious cycle. I’ve focused on mine on generalised stress, mood and anxiety. Life basically. This is the biggest impact to me, I believe. Which then impacts my other areas of life. This is what I want to look at throughout the course.

Where I want to. I’ll share too. I’ve decided I’d like to share my vicious cycle. Here it is:

Vicious CycleThen week one continues by giving quick tips and introduces mindfulness. Which is the separate online module. The one I started last week. I need to continue that as well.

I need to remember there is only so much I can do at once. I’m on a high and have the motivation to get things done. I don’t wanna jeopardise my healing progress. Is healing process the best way to put it? I dunno. I’ll leave it to you to think of your version.

As I’ve done session one. I’m gonna stop and so some another day. I had my mindfulness module and my courage council work up. That’s gonna be too much. I’m already feeling tired. I’ve been working all day. I think it’s time to relax and switch off for a bit before bed.

I’ve decided to put some music on, do some of my jigsaw puzzle and possibly read before bed. Meaning today would be a none telly day. Woo!

Embracing Emotions

I’ve been trying to understand my emotions today. When I feel something I’ve been trying to figure out the reason behind the emotion. The root cause rather than fight the emotions.

I believe I felt my emotions when I was younger. I remember crying a bit. But I think being brought up where crying and having emotions wasn’t seen as a good thing. I started bottling it all inside.

I think that’s where my insecurity comes from in a way. Now, talking about emotions is becoming the norm, rather than a taboo subject. I need to start recognising my emotions in order to help voice what I’m feeling. Really think about and explore why I’m feeling the way I feel.

Goal: Embrace my Emotions

Learning About: Mindfulness

This evening I started my mindfulness module I received after my first week of councilling. It is a very big module so I’ve only done the first section. Learning about mindfulness. I don’t wanna do too much too fast and it not work out.

What is Mindfulness?

It’s a technique that teaches you to live with awareness. Learn to truely experience the present. Be more excepting of what has happened and to focus on being in the here and now. Helps you to see things differently. Because you become more aware of your thoughts and feelings. No longer stuck in them and gain control. Become accepting of what you think or feel.

That would be a great feeling. Recognising what I think, feel and accepting them and having control. Once I read the advantages I starting having more of an opened mind about mindfulness.

  • Let go of certain problems
  • Are able to enjoy the present more
  • Health improves
  • Handle stress better
  • Ability to concentrate improves
  • More energy then before
  • Feel better about yourself
  • Handle emotions better

Even my module said it wasn’t easy. You need to practice a lot to make this change. That you should practice daily. It’s a big time investment. Keep practising until it becomes second nature.

Wow, mindfulness as a habit that’s a thought. There are different techniques. I haven’t got to that part yet but here are a few tips.

  1. Adopt an open mind
  2. Know your benefits
  3. Find support
  4. Go for it!
  5. Reward yourself

Make a list of the benefits mindfulness could provide you. Here’s mine:

  • Relieve stress
  • Improve sleep
  • Increase creativity
  • Bring peacefulness to your life
  • Increase connection to my body
  • Alleviate digestive problems
  • Help me concentrate

Practice even if you want to do something else. I wanted to watch One Born Every Minute but decided it was best to do something. Be kind to yourself. If you manage to practice as often as you intended. Do something that makes you happy.

Time to make a commitment to put it into practice!

On which day will you make the sessions?

Friday

Where will you practice?

My room or the garden

At what time does practising suit you?

Early afternoon on days I’m working. Mid-afternoon on my days off. I have every other Friday off. 

What are you expectations?

Accept my thoughts for what they are without passing judgement. Letting go of problems in order to improve my health.

That is my commitment to mindfulness. I’ve put it in my diary and making it an official goal.

Goal: Practice Mindfulness

I hope you learnt something about mindfulness like I did and that you could make a commitment. A commitment to accept and gain control of your thoughts and feelings. Hoping to learn more at each stage of my module.

Much Love xx