Life, Stratejoy, Writing

Do you take responsibility?

The past is the past. That can’t be changed. But I can change my story for my future self. Recognise my feelings and go with them.

I’m guilty.

I’m guilty of not taking responsibility for my choices and actions. I’m guilty of passing on the blame. I’m guilty of being the reason why friendships have broken down. I’m guilty of missing out on opportunities. I’m guilty of allowing negative thoughts to creep into my life.

I shouldn’t be guilty of these things but I am. I made these choices for whatever the reason at the time. They are done. The consequences took.

Taking responsibility is about the privilege to take ownership of the choices and actions I make each and every day.

I need to take responsibility for my health. Respect and listen to my body. Give it the self-care it deserves. Give my body sensual and sexual desires it wants.

I need to take responsibility to make my life more pleasurable. Give things importance. Define the freedom in my life. Building the courage to know I’m capable to handle what life throws at me. To take risks; big and small. Have those conversations that are needed.

I need to step out of my comfort zone. Do those scary goals. Don’t judge things on success or failure. The failure allows me to grow.

I need to figure out how to get out of the lows in life. Not staying there expecting others to get me out.

I need to voice opinions and find the answers. Live life through my lens.

I don’t need to be perfect.

I need to face feelings head-on. The good, the bad and the ugly. That’s how I’ll get out of the dips. All of them. Even the hard ones.

Everywhere, with everyone, lessons can be learnt. I need to teach myself. I don’t have to understand.

I’m not to give away my power!

I don’t have to choose sides. I can be selfish and selfless. I can be brave and afraid. I can be badass and super sensitive.

The judgements have got to stop. Those on others and on myself. People judge on me too.  Tocix is no good in life. Let the judgement go.

Embrace curiosity to lead to kindness. Amit my mistakes, no matter how hard. Speak up when my mind changes. Set boundaries for myself and others.

It can be ok to depend on others. It can be worth it to build a healthy relationship. They take time. Work on it!

I don’t need to understand. Everything doesn’t need to have a rational explanation.

I know how to come back to myself. I write to know how to begin again.

Enough is for everyone.

Everything matters; whether money, opinions, purpose, creativity.

Refused to allow others to be mistreated.

How we live out lives is how we care for the world.

Goals, Life, Stratejoy, Writing

The End of Q2 Review

Wow, we are halfway through 2018. Time is going quickly. Whatever you do, make the most of your time.

The Past 6 Months 

I am on the road to being the woman I want to be. I do have selfish moments, where I become lazy and expect others to do things for me. I’m becoming calmer in myself but still, have those rush days. I’m taking more control of my life and experiences.

I have been incorporating my theme of the year, Joy, into my life more in this first half of the year. I have been having experiences, having time with loved ones and getting shit done.

But being with family has had its challenges. Family is what get each other through. We need to be there for one another, things have been changing rapidly. Seeing my grandma decline quickly has been the hardest part for me over the past 6 months.

The Next 6 Months

I am craving couple independence. Being deliberate and limitless with our home. Getting it right for us. I am craving calm. Being able to be comfortable with silences and having nothing planned. But I also wanna knock things off the to-do-list.

To make sure I am recommitted to my yearly theme of Joy; I need to choose what I want to focus on now. Then only focus on those as a priority. But also take time for me and as a couple.

I think the best way of doing this is to plan only part of my time. Things come up and cause me to rush and stress. I need to focus on one or two things and not try doing everything all at once. I need to continue with my monthly review, see what I am doing and if I’m still on the right track.

Blackboard Tasks

I feel the following are those I need to focus on in the next quarter:

  • CBT Course
  • BSL Blog Series
  • Loving my Body
  • Have my Hair done
  • Have a Home
  • Day Trips

Quarter 3 Goals

  1. Make Our Home Ours

Being in the process of buying our first home. I want this quarter to be focusing on making it ours. It needs a full gutting; a lot of work doing to it. I want this to be in support of having a welcoming home to come back to and have our couple independence.

I would like our home to be liveable by Christmas 2018.

2. BSL Blog Series Set Up

This is another goal on my dreams page. Setting this BSL series up is getting out of my comfort zone. Having videos of myself completing signs to hopefully teach others. I have 3 done so far. But as I have set up for the series to start next week I have some work to do.

I would like it all to be set up by the end of the quarter ready for it to be published through the next few quarters.

Past 6 Month Reviews

March – End of Quarter 1

Life, Stratejoy, Writing

Do you have Core Values?

During my life coaching course, having values and beliefs has been one of its topics. I’ve thought about my own before when doing The Joy Equation with Molly Mahar.

These Core Values were:

Balance: have control, things spilt easily – family, work, friends, love, life. never stressing about getting everything done.

Connection: concentrate. meet up with friends and family. open up to them.

Radiance: share the love. be who I am on the inside; outside. be fun, warm, loving.

Acceptance: accept who I am. those who need to/for me to be someone else have to accept me for me or else I don’t need them in my life. accept the situations I am in.

Simplicity: only have, do, concentrate, on the things that matter. do not have to do what is not needed

Laughter: do the things I love. spend time with family and friends. be outside.

Adventure: do things I enjoy. be outside. travel the world. go exploring. learn to do new things. get out of my comfort zone.

Health: Look after me. eat healthily. exercise. enjoy life.

I figured out these core values. I made a mini collage of them.

What did I do with these values once I finalised them?

Put them away in my trunk.

I’m not living in synch with my values there am I?

I’m not going to be rewarded with joy, integrity and ease. I’m not gonna live life through them if I don’t have them in sight daily.

These core values were created nearly a couple of years ago now.

When completing my Life Coaching Course I wrote the following to be the values I wanna live by:

I want to live with integrity and authenticity. I want ot have the values of creativity, laughter and balance in my life.

Comparing the two, laughter and balance, are the two words that show up in both. Although I haven’t used the rest, all the words in both still resonate with me. I have the values, but I need to live them out in my life.

What I would love is to have a collage /vision board type idea incorporating all these words to have on one of the walls I’d see each day in the house when it’s completed. Knowing this I have the time to really find and create the perfect one for me.

Having this up and seeing will remind me of my values. This doesn’t necessarily mean I’ll live by the values but I can’t think this way. Seeing it daily will allow me to think positively. The words and the feelings I got from them will bubble in me.

Having a good feeling will help me live by my values. Which in term will show the difference in how I live, doing what I want. Living my life authentically.

I’ve been able to make a little collage with pictures that I believe represent my values. I’ve so far only been able to find something that will allow only 16 photos to make one. Then I haven’t been able to find somewhere that can print it off as yet.


My Post

Life, Mental Health, Personal Development, Stratejoy

External Validation

Can I truly be myself if I keep looking for external validation?

I can’t control other people’s thoughts. I can’t control outcomes. I won’t experience success or failure until it’s upon me. There are some things that are beyond my control.

Why try to manipulate my brain power, if I can’t control what I can’t control?

Surely, I’ll get tired faster, leading towards failure.

If I try to control, how am I being present in the now?

Other people’s thoughts are their own. Thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go. Other people’s perspectives are different to my own. We may look at the same piece of art and see and feel different things. We may watch the same film, at the same time, in the same screen. You may have an insight. I may not. It was just an alright film to me.

How can I become attached to other people’s expectations, reactions or values when they’re not mine?

To be myself and to act in accordance with my values; I need to release other people’s validations. I am the one that is happy doing what I love. I’m the one experiencing the emotions, completing the actions. I’m the only one who can be me.

#3 Release others values, expectations and reactions – Molly Mahar


Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy


Where do I feel peaceful, strong, able to affect change?

Journalling. Checking with goals.

Where do I feel silenced, weal or disregarded?

Office. Body Love. Future Career. Confidence. Money. Authority Figure.

What is one action I can take to reclaim my power? To reclaim ownership of my life?

A hard one maybe: but to stop thinking, overthinking, letting my thoughts be ruled by my thinking.

I know it says one but I want another: I want to LISTEN. To really listen. Listen with feeling as well as hearing the words.


Life, Mental Health, Personal Development, Stratejoy

Ritual, Body Love and Purpose

How do I already connect with myself?

Candles. Doggy cuddles. Journalling. Walking. Music. Reading.

How am I craving connection with myself?

Breathing. Exercise. Dancing. Singing. Set intentions. Body Love.

How do I already connect with my loved ones?

Conversations. Family meals. Group get-togethers.

What am I craving with my loved ones?


How do I already connect with my higher power?


How am I craving connection with my higher power?

Self-love. Self-care.

How am I loving, kind or respectful to my body?

Fruit. 3 meals a day. Paint nails. Walking. Sleep. Wear whats comfortable. Haircuts.

How am I mean, toxic or ignorant to/of my body? 

Junk food. Not hydrating enough. snacking. Lack of exercise. Not slowing down.

What are 3 small ways I could start listening to my body’s needs now?

Meditating. Have a good amount of water. Exercise.

What gifts do I bring to this world?

Organisation. Creativity.

How do I show up in all slices of life?

Emotional. Joy. Ambitious.

What would I like my life to be an example of?

Helping others evolve, feel free, and experience joy.

How do I honour my purpose?

Being a carer. Self-discovery.

Watched: Robocop > 3 out of 5

Life, Stratejoy


What roles in life do I claim?

I’m a … fiance, daughter, dog mum, volunteer, carer, girlfriend, blogger

In 4 roles … How are you expected to act? What are you expected to want?

Fiance: loving, equal, partnership. conversation. sex. lovey-dovey. togetherness 24/7

Daughter: kindness. friendship. safe space.

Dog mum: responsible. knowledgeable. walks. cuddles.

Carer: in control. responsible. kind. compassionate. over-achiever. nothing in return. independence.

What do I claim to be my truth?

Adventure. Simplicity. Kindness. Friendship. Love. Cuddles. Creative Soul. Honesty.

Watched: Table 19 > 5 out of 5