Life, Writing

Writing ‘Antsy’ Away

It’s not long before I go to bed. I’ve had a mixture of relax and productive day around my working hours.

I feel antsy.

I feel like I need to be doing something. Occupy myself and mind. That what I have done today wasn’t enough. I’ve ticked off a couple of things from my to-do list. That’s right the to-do lists have been made. I have one for my blog, one for the house and then a general everyday one.

I’ve do e something on my goal of getting shit done – write a to-do list.

It may sound like nothing but it’s clearing my mind if the things I need to do running around in my head. It’s written down when I think of it, more so if I can’t do it right there and then.

When I have spare time I look at the list and do something I class as a priority in that moment.

I’ve a week since I made my Q4 goals. I feel I could get towards the end with a habit in tow. I’m glad I sat down to write. I don’t feel as antsy as I did do. A calm mind is needed for me to fall asleep.


Watched: Shutter Island > 3.5 out of 5

Life, Mental Health, Writing

‘I can’t wait to be in my own house’

10:36 pm:

I get a message from Dave. It’ll be another house before he’s home. Is it best to go to his mums?

I panic and worry about my parents’ reactions. I hate this feeling and start crying my eyes out. How pathetic?

But that is how I feel. I hate that I do. That I have been made to feel scared to arrive home after a certain time. I really hate it. If we were living in our own place I wouldn’t feel this way. We’d be able to come and go as we please. No matter the time.

I sent a message to my mum to come upstairs. She found me crying my eyes out. Once I calmed, I told her about the message and that it’ll be later. I said I was being stupid. But I said the truth.

David is coming back here. Even at the later time. But I don’t feel that it’ll change how I feel about being, being made to feel like I have a curfew when I don’t. I’ve never had a curfew. It’s not that I stayed out late all the time. I was a good kid.

But I guess it is my take on other people words. My mum obviously told my step-dad and he came up to hug me and said there’s no need to cry. Even so, I still can’t wait to be in my own house.

Life, Writing

Will we be in by 1st December?

We’ve done some more to the house. Rooms are starting to form. They are becoming complete, slowly ready for the plasterer.

B helped me put the insulation in the internal stood walls for the bedrooms and bathroom. Ready so that we can put the plasterboards up. After a few hours, I got tired and fed up. I want the house to be done. I seem to be able to do some work in small doses before the novelty wears off.

My step-dad says we’ll be in for the 1st December. Will that happen?

Is there a countdown option on WordPress at all? Need to try and remember this date to see if we are in by that date.

Life, Writing

Q3 Review 2018

It’s been a good no telly Tuesday. Productive. We bought insulation for the house and decided on the paints for all but 2 rooms.

It was the Q3 review call for the Holiday Council. To begin with I tried to do it while cooking and eating dinner. I was stop starting it and wasn’t getting much of the review done. Then my parents came home so I decided to try out my mum’s new home office.

Doing it this way I was more productive, I got my review done.


I feel like I’m not being me completely. I’m being lazy. I feel guilty for not doing things I feel I should have done. I feel I’m partially being the person I want to be for my family and friends.

In the last 3 months we’ve booked our wedding venue and photographer. We’ve bought a house and getting it renovated. I’ve started my BSL video series.

The thing I’m beginning to finally accept is that I’m overwhelming myself, then I don’t do anything but what telly. Then I start to comfort eat. I do start somethings but lose interest or motivation. No matter the time or money spent, I am being more deliberate with my yes and no when it comes to work.

I think I’m embodying easefulness more into the point of laziness. I’m not doing the things I need to do or have experiences. I’m not always present in the now. Fully enjoying myself.

What I’m craving is Getting Shit Done. Check lists or step by step of goals to achieve the big goals is my aim to help me achieve Getting Shit Done.


I started this evening after my review with the BSL video series. I’ve done more posts and I’ve been making a check list of what I need to do or come back to at a later date.

I like this idea so I’m gonna try this for my every day tasks and goals too. By doing this I hope that by the new quarter, which is in the New Year, that I’ll have done most of my back log of to-dos and courses I’ve signed up for.

Life, Writing

Drowning in Plastic Documentary

I’ve just finished watching Drowning in Plastic on BBC One. I knew the oceans were coated in plastics, that marine animals were effected and that the view and our actions on daily use of plastics need to change.

But after watching this documentary, wow, I was gobsmacked and ashamed that it’s as bad as it is. There’s got to be more everyone in the world can do. Plus the large plastic companies.

The fact not everyone in the world as access to recycling and has to dump there rubbish!!

That’ll help quicker then having to wait another 7 years before there’s progress.

What actions can we take to change?

Life, Writing

Do I Know the True Meaning of Hard Work?

Hard work: Do I even know the true meaning?

Would I even get through a shift doing something classed as hard work?

I do and I don’t find my job as hard work. Maybe more mentally than physically. Others would say it’s not, then some would say it is. I could come across something new to me and say it’s hard. To others, it’s an easy thing.

Everything takes hard work until it isn’t. The amount of time and effort put into something makes it less hard work the more you put into it.

Drive and motivation or determination put towards work, life and the goals set. It’ss all be hard until it’s not. At the end of the day it’s all down to one person; you.

Life, Writing

Keep the Good Days Coming

I did turn to the telly today. I got some washing done in between. Instead of just watching my TV series, I decided on films. One new to me and the others, two of my favourites. Can’t beat a good Jurassic Park film.

I also did bits and bobs during them. I did do a couple of hours of work too. All in all another good day.


Watched: Flatliners (2017) > 2.5 out of 5