Instagram: Signed up and Deleted in one week

Before:

On the 1st of November 2017, I deleted all my social media. Twitter. Instagram. Facebook. No more. I’ve gone nearly 3 months without it. The only thing I miss is taking pictures. I can take pictures every day but not all link with what I write.

I’ve decided to set an Instagram account up under my blogs name, to put some of my photos and my journey with my goals and life.

I missed photos. I don’t miss check-ins, tweets. I’m more in tune with my life. I’m embracing #joy2018.


After:

I miss taking photos.

Why do I have to have an Instagram account to take photos? I don’t.
Just because I take photos, does that mean I have to share them with everyone? No.
Did I just take that photo just to put on Instagram? Yes.
Would I have taken that photo if I didn’t have Instagram? No.

So, why did I think that I needed to have an Instagram just to take photos? Because everyone else is doing it and I wanted to be apart of that again.

Do I wanna do something just because I should do it because everyone else is doing it too? No.

Why did I stop taking photos just because I removed my social media? I have no idea.

Some of the questions that have been going around my head this past week. I miss taking photos. I have no idea why I stopped taking photos. But I have come to the realisation that I don’t need Instagram to take photos. I can take photos anytime, anywhere without having to share them.

If photos are linked with what I may have written some days, I may share them on here. But I don’t need to take them just to share them. I wanna take photos because that’s what I love to do in my own time, out and about exploring the world.

Photography is something that I do not want to go into. I just wanna take photos for fun. Like many other professions, there are many photographers in the world. I just don’t have the ambition to become one.

Photos are for me when I feel like it not because I should take them. Am I a hypocrite for removing all social media then 3 months later starting one up again? Maybe. I don’t wanna be that person just because I should have social media.

I’m trying to be my authentic self. Let’s act it then!

Goodbye Instagram, yet again.

When deleting my Instagram this time around, I don’t know why, but apart of me wanted to ensure that all other accounts were deleted too. My account from last year had deleted like I knew. But I tried an old email address to find that account still active. That has been deleted too. As far as I’m aware, I have no other Instagram accounts.


Watched: Jumanji: Welcome to the Jungle > 5 out of 5

Expectations

What roles in life do I claim?

I’m a … fiance, daughter, dog mum, volunteer, carer, girlfriend, blogger

In 4 roles … How are you expected to act? What are you expected to want?

Fiance: loving, equal, partnership. conversation. sex. lovey-dovey. togetherness 24/7

Daughter: kindness. friendship. safe space.

Dog mum: responsible. knowledgeable. walks. cuddles.

Carer: in control. responsible. kind. compassionate. over-achiever. nothing in return. independence.

What do I claim to be my truth?

Adventure. Simplicity. Kindness. Friendship. Love. Cuddles. Creative Soul. Honesty.


Watched: Table 19 > 5 out of 5

Conversations Continued…

I think an issue with conversations I have, is how I say things and my mood at the time. My emotions can affect how much I pay attention. Whether I’m self-absorbed at the time. Yes, I have those moments, where I’m thinking of me, but not at the right moments.

Having conversations, I guess I struggle with the how because I can just say things without processing my words. The words and tone come out not how I would have liked. It can be hard to get the other person to understand when I mean.

How I say things and my tone of voice is something I need to be mindful of. If only face-to-face or telephone conversations had a delete button and the time to read over like in a text or a blog post.

Conversations

My number 2 Q1 goal is, to be honest with others. So far so good. I’ve been having honest conversations with Dave about how I feel. I’ve told one of my closes friends, G, I’ve been writing this blog. Which is also an outlet for my honesty.

Conversations, face-to-face, with people I something struggle with. I’m a lot better than when I was younger. I’ve lost friends, missed experiences and gone on many paths in my life so far. All because of conversations I have or haven’t had.

Since starting as a Community Care Worker, I feel my conversational confidence has increased. Interacting and bringing my customers’ spirits up is what I do.

This may be the case but conversation is something I need to work on. I’ve started reading Life Changing Conversations by Sarah Rozenthuler. How the author writes has really drawn me in. I’m looking forward to being able to pick it up again. Thank you to my local library for making that possible.

What am I looking to get out of the book? > Seeing if I’m able to have those conversations that matter by learning strategies.

 

Little Boost from a Friend

Home photos were done. I was able to put back some of my things. It definitely feels good to have my mark in my room.

Today was also a day when one of my close friends read my blog for the first time. I plucked up the courage to tell him about my world here yesterday. Hearing him be positive about what I’ve written. He said that it helped him understand me a little more on my mental health.

He asked me if anyone else I personally knew had read it. To my knowledge only one other. G (my friend) said that my friend B should read it. I said I’d try and tell her when I next see her.

That stage fright settles in when thinking about it.

Both G and B are trusted friends. I feel if I don’t tell B soon, it may be harder for me to say in the future.

I’ve thought about sending a text. But I would rather talk to her face-to-face. Build my confidence up on talking about my blog to those I know.

Personalisation

Tomorrow the estate agent is coming round to take photos of the house. By the end of the week, it will be up for sale. Today I’ve helped with last minute decorating and de-personalising of my room.

I like the idea of minimalism. I’m curious on the topic. It’s got me thinking in the past, leading me to really think about what I own. A number of charity shop trips was the outcome.

But not having anything up or around me that represents who I am does put me down. Once the photos are taken, I’m able to put some things back up.

It’s got me thinking for when we have our own home. I would like to have less clutter and have a level of minimalism but I want to have personalised items. Those things that mean something to us not just because it looks pretty.

Feeling Joy

Since the New Year, I’ve tried to get into the mindset of my theme; Joy. The past few days I’ve had the sense that I’m feeling Joy even when I’m not doing anything.

I’ve also noticed the ends of my lips are turned up more. Engaging my face muscles, I think is helping. When I relax my face I feel a change in how I feel. Smiling helps me feel better.

I believe I’m gonna enjoy 2018. Have a more positive outlook on things.