Life, Writing

I really can talk about saying goodbye to wardrobes.

Another step towards moving home. My wardrobes have been taken down into parts. Ready to be taken away tomorrow. I know it’s a wardrobe but I’ll miss it. A big corner walk-in wardrobe. Without it, my room looks bigger. You can tell it hasn’t been moved since it came. The wall behind it is a different shade of purple.

I’m glad to have had some time to relax today. I spent most of the afternoon sleeping. I have a lovely head cold. It’s taken the majority of my energy. Gotta get rested up. Get through tomorrow.

Life, Mental Health, Personal Development, Stratejoy

External Validation

Can I truly be myself if I keep looking for external validation?

I can’t control other people’s thoughts. I can’t control outcomes. I won’t experience success or failure until it’s upon me. There are some things that are beyond my control.

Why try to manipulate my brain power, if I can’t control what I can’t control?

Surely, I’ll get tired faster, leading towards failure.

If I try to control, how am I being present in the now?

Other people’s thoughts are their own. Thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go. Other people’s perspectives are different to my own. We may look at the same piece of art and see and feel different things. We may watch the same film, at the same time, in the same screen. You may have an insight. I may not. It was just an alright film to me.

How can I become attached to other people’s expectations, reactions or values when they’re not mine?

To be myself and to act in accordance with my values; I need to release other people’s validations. I am the one that is happy doing what I love. I’m the one experiencing the emotions, completing the actions. I’m the only one who can be me.

#3 Release others values, expectations and reactions – Molly Mahar

 

Goals, Life

March 2018 Action Chart

I’ve been looking back through my March daily goal actions in my diary. Seeing when I last ate chocolate. No chocolate goal update on your screens tomorrow. Looking through I realised I did not complete a chart for March. This is because I did a Quarterly Review rather than a Monthly Review.

As I like to look back to see how well I am doing with my goals I thought I would complete the chart now.

Screenshot 2018-04-12 13.13.06

As you can see, the no chocolate goal has been the best one out of them all. But I’m glad to see that I am was doing something towards my other goals. I even started a quarter 2 goal in March.

The 5 times doing the BSL goal in March meant that I was able to complete the goal of completing my introductory course. The time in March when I did the Overcoming work I realised that I needed to mark it down as a low priority. I also decided to say goodbye to the YCY goal altogether.

Goals are not set in stone. They’ll change just like life does. Some get to the point where they are not meaningful to a person. By continuing on a goal that doesn’t resonate can do more harm than good. I believe that completing reviews regularly on goals is healthy and will help them to be achieved.

 

Life, Writing

Saying Goodbye – 2018 Courageous Living Planner

At the start of the year, I started the 2018 Courageous Living Planner. I enjoyed reading what Kate Swoboda wrote. I connected with what she had to say. I found her evaluation tool helpful.

At the beginning of the year my satisfaction of the following areas of my life was:

Family and Friends: 5
Career: 5
Money: 3
Physical Health: 6
Home/Physical Environment: 5
Fun and Recreation: 4

Right now I believe some have reduced but I’m hopeful after the move some will go back over even get higher.

After telling the truth from some questions asked I came up with my Most Courageous Self goals:

  1. Incorporate music into my life daily
  2. Being in and seeing the natural world
  3. Achieving and being apart of big dreams

The first couple of months went well on completing the monthly questions. Even up to this month. But once I’d answered the questions I put the planner down not to be looked at until the next month.

I suppose the questions helped me to see my life in a new light but that 10-minute answering hasn’t been helping me move forward. I like my MCS goals. I feel they’re a big part of my big dream goals.

That and with The Holiday Council work I do, the planner doesn’t seem to be needed anymore.

I’ve made the decision to give the planner a miss now. It isn’t being a part of my life in the way it should, so I need to say goodbye to it. Focus on the outlets I already have and that are working.

Due to it being a planner I hadn’t looked through to the months ahead. Having done this now I feel it was the right decision to say goodbye to the planner. I’m not loosing out by saying goodbye. I’m not wasting money. It was free and a little bit of ink. Being paper I’m able to recycle what I’m saying goodbye too.

Is there anything you feel you need to say goodbye too?


Watched: Numb > 2.5 out of 5
Walking Tall > 4 out of 5
The Levelling > 1 out of 5

Life

Disappointed in Myself

I feel very disappointed in myself right now. I’ve talked about colleagues behind their backs with another.

Doing that has gone against the values I wanna live by. I used to be a gossip. A lot when I was growing up. I don’t wanna be that person again.

I wanna be honest, live with integrity and authenticity in all aspects of my life.

I’m ashamed of myself. I know I shouldn’t do it and I’ve no one else to blame but myself. It’s happened. I can’t take it back.

I need to be mindful of what I say about/of others.

Life, Mental Health

Accepting of having no plans

I feel today has been a day where I’ve felt ok not having a plan for the day. Even with bowling had been booked for this evening.

I had a pyjama day until 3pm. I can’t remember the last time I had a PJ day. I got my wardrobe emptied. Having suitcases and boxes around has certainly made it feel real today that we’re moving.

I enjoyed our family bowling and meal this evening. I’m still not winning but I loved it none the less.


Watched: Sex Tape > 5 out of 5

Anxiety, Goals, Life, Mental Health

I’d have been an anxiety-fueled, emotional wreck of a cannonball

I’ve kicked myself into gear a little. I’ve done the majority of my wardrobe. I now have clothes curtains for the next couple weeks.

It’s hitting me more now that we’re moving. The doing is getting me excited.


I’m getting closer to finishing my NVQ. I’m now at 90.7%. It’s so close but still feels so far. I’ve also started my Life Coach level 2.


I’m feeling positive about life right now. So much has changed in 2018 already, it’s somewhat unbelievable that 2017 was life a demolition in ways. It was a hard year and I coped well but not very well.

Understanding that my mind is creating thoughts that I don’t need to give attention to, waking up the awareness of that conscious freedom is liberating.

This time last year, if I had a fully planned out day like today, where things didn’t go to plan, I’d have been an anxiety-fueled, emotional wreck of a cannonball. I would not have coped.

Today I accepted and the day felt like a breeze. Even when things didn’t go to plan. With the bonus of achieving approximately 11,871 steps.