Goals, Learning, Life, Mental Health

Courses Overload

Ennui – a feeling of listlessness and dissatisfaction arising from a lack of occupation or excitement

A new word for me. I’ve certainly felt boredom, lethargy, restlessness and weariness. The list could have a few more. I go through stages where I feel these.

I believe restlessness is where I’ve been at over the past few days. I’m at a point again where I’ve put a load of things on myself, instead of going through each, which I’m doing slowly. But yet again I’m adding more.

In my MCS: Part 1 I wrote about becoming a life coach, helping others achieve their dreams.

Albeit I’m doing steps to achieve my dreams. How can I help others achieve their goals if I can’t do what I preach? I need to do some serious talking with myself, get myself together.

Goals, Life, Mental Health, Personal Development

MCS: Part 3

Fear 1: Fear of failure, that I can’t do it and I’d revert back to being anxious/depressed

What wound(s) might be behind the fear?

  • Not feeling good enough
  • Starting things but giving up or withdrawing when things get hard (2x university withdrawals. 1: a course I didn’t want to pursue in the end. 2: Mental health flared up)

What does that wound need to heal?

  • To take small steps, build up confidence
  • When things get hard, find a way to make it easier and practice

Fear 2: Other people’s opinions and input into what I do

What wound(s) might be behind the fear?

  • Social anxiety
  • Mindset
  • People telling me I shouldn’t do that
  • People telling me I’m doing things wrong or don’t have the skills
  • Bullied at school for trying to be me which caused me to revert into myself

What does that wound need to heal?

  • Not allow other peoples thoughts and opinions affect me
  • Remind myself that I am enough
  • Remind myself that I can be the person I want to be
  • Remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind to

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. incorporate music into my life. To evoke that I could: 

  • Sort out all the music on my iPod that doesn’t resonate with me
  • Note down songs I love singing to download onto my iPod
  • Keep my speakers on when my alarm goes off
  • Use headphones when unable to use speakers

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. Being in and seeing the natural world. To evoke that I could:

  • Research travel destinations
  • Talk to friends and family to see where they would recommend going
  • Get travel books out of the library
  • Set up a travel fund
  • Go for a 30-minute walk no matter the weather each day
  • Open my blinds each morning
  • Do work/read/relax outside
  • Make a comfortable space by a window

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. Achieving or being apart of big dreams. To evoke that I could:

  • Look into life coach courses
  • When finding one. Do it!
  • Research life coaches
  • See if any books could help from library
  • Make small steps on how to achieve my own big dreams

How does my inner perfectionist operate?

  • Trying to do everything myself
  • Saying yes so can do them even when not something I want to do
  • Have to do things until its perfect
  • Saying not good enough or needs redoing causing myself to stress along the way
  • Having to be in control


Goals, Life, Mental Health, Personal Development

MCS: Part 2

What are three things that would bring more excitement, curiosity into my life?

  1. Music incorporated into my life more
  2. Being in and seeing the natural world around me
  3. Achieving or being apart of big dreams

You’ll have to be real about why you aren’t already making these moves – Kate Courageous

Music incorporated into my life more:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Can’t use speakers when family are asleep
  • Don’t have the time to put music on
  • Always have other things on my mind

What do I need to do differently?

  • Schedule music into my life > have at least 10 minutes where I listen to music, plus maybe dance
  • Have iPod and headphones close by to be able to put on when family asleep
  • Have 5 minutes to relax and breathe to clear my mind to then put music on

Three ways my life will benefit?

  • I think I’ll relax
  • I think my mindset will change
  • I think I’ll get my love of music back

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might help someone come out of their shell
  • I might introduce someone to their favourite song
  • I might make someone laugh


Being in and seeing the natural world around me:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Never feel I have the time
  • Weather stopping me to courageous to go out
  • Don’t open blinds/curtains to let natural light in

What do I need to do differently?

  • Go out and so something in all weather
  • Wrap up accordingly
  • Take dogs for walks
  • Open blinds every morning. Only close when dark outside

Three ways your life will benefit?

  • I think I’ll get fitter
  • I think I’ll smile more
  • I think I’ll be more creative

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might be easygoing
  • I might encourage others to explore the outside world
  • I might teach others about the outside world


Achieving or being apart of big dreams:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Don’t have the knowledge, skills or experience in helping others achieve their goals
  • Haven’t been successful in achieving my own
  • I’m not good enough mindset

What I need to do differently?

  • Make small steps to plan how to achieve my goals
  • Look into doing life coach or mentoring course to gain knowledge
  • Get into the mindset that any step towards a dream is good enough for me

Three ways your life will benefit?

  • Achieve my goals
  • Getting to live my life the way I want it
  • Change of mindset

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might help someone be happy in their life
  • I might create more jobs
  • I might help someone relax



Goals, Life, Mental Health, Personal Development

MCS: Part 1

It’s Most Courageous Self (MCS) month in The Your Courageous Year Planner by Kate Courageous. A free planner for subscribers to her site. Over the next 3 days, I’m going to share some of my responses to questions that I feel are apart of my journey.

If you woke up and your entire life went exactly the way that you wanted it to go, from morning until night. What would your day look like?

I would wake up with my iPod playing music that I love. Allowing me to sing along and have a dance. I’d wake up in my own bed, with my partner by my side, in our own home. I’d look forward to the day ahead to help as many as I can.

I’d have fruit, porridge and honey for breakfast. Sat on a window seat, looking outside, watching the dog run around. I’d then walk the dog, feed the foster small animals, shower, and get myself ready for the day ahead.

I’d start work focusing on one task or client at a time. Helping them achieve their goals, living their life just the way they want to, as independently as they can. I work to my own schedule, have an office in my home as my base.

I’d have a break in the afternoon, catching up with friends and family, go for a walk. I’d have a set time each day where I’d finish work. I’d make a homecooked meal if my partner is in, we do it together. Sitting down to eat, then walk the dog together as well.

I’d sit by the window with a good book, or snuggle up with a good film or a relax in the bath. All with candles around me/us.

I’d get into bed at the end of the day feeling a sense of achievement and satisfaction for helping another get closer to their dream.

What excites/delights me?

Being able to help others. Being able to run my own schedule. Being independent but still doing things with my partner. Having animals around me, helping them to live healthy between homes.

What makes you curious?

What it would be like to be self-employed. Have my own home with a seat in the window. I wonder what would happen if I trained to be a life coach.

Life, Travel

Cannon Hall

It was the first time I’d been. It’s a farm, museum and park and gardens. Because of the time of year, the museum was closed.

On today’s trip, we walked around the park and gardens, walked to Cawthrone Village and had a walk around. Walked to the garden centre and had lunch in the Thyme Bistro. Then looked in the gift shop.

I tried an ale and Lemon Drizzle cake. Didn’t like the ale. Loved the cake.

For £3 all day parking it was worth it. If you have a trip to the Barnsley area in Yorkshire, I’d recommend visiting.

I’d like to go again, if not just for a walk, but to see the museum and the farm. There’s also a restaurant I’d like to try out on site.

Goals, Health

Fitness Tracker

Being healthy is something I want to be an ongoing Big Dream Goal. With my Christmas vouchers, I bought a VeryFit Smart Band. A fitness tracker. It’s just arrived. As I don’t always walk around with my phone, I’ll be able to see if I get close to my 10,000 steps per day target.

The other thing it does is a sleep tracker. I will hopefully see if I have deep, shallow or walking sleep. There’s an app for the smartphone that links up to record the data stored for up to 7 days on the band itself.

A bonus it shows me when I get a text message and a phone call too. I may not check my phone as much for notifications.

A fitness tracker may not achieve my Big Dream Goal but it can be a step to see what I’m doing. May spur me on a bit more.