Life

20/09

I felt well today until I got next week’s rota. I was angry, not only have they placed me in the opposite area to where I want to be working. They’ve put me down to work on my day off. After sending a not so happy email to the managers, I couldn’t get the fuming out of me. I saw another one of my colleagues and they weren’t happy with theirs. By the message from on call, I don’t think many were.

Once I got home, I ended up doing an upper body strength video. Trying to get my energy focused in a good way. It helped a little. Well I think it helped quite a bit otherwise this writing would be more rant like then it already is.

My mum and I took fluff butt to the vets. They confirmed that she needs a dental. Tomorrow is going to be a day of tension. What with Maya at the vets and sorting my rota out.

Life, Mental Health, Writing

Anger

I’ve reverted back to anger. I don’t like anger as an emotion. I know anger, just like fear is needed. Maybe I should do a pep talk to anger.

I certainly can say I’m irritable and on the way to being explosive. Anger in others scares me. I freeze, panic and anxiety bubbles in me. I just want to hide. I’m not good with confrontation.

I want courage. But I don’t want anger to be my fuel. It’s not going to get me to the right path. I’m acting on impulse┬árather than courage. If I’m not careful, it’s gonna come back and bite me.