A Goal of No Chocolate

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

It’s always good to spend time with my dad and step mum. I didn’t feel guilty about having a whole afternoon/evening watching telly.

My dad is uncomfortable going far for long. He finds it easier to stay in. As he had already been out that day. Telly it was. The main feeling I had today was a sudden onset of tiredness.

One moment I was perfectly fine. Then, the next, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I’m blaming the 2/3 of chocolate share bag I had.

A part of me thinks that’s crazy. But the other thinks what else could it be?

I’ve had plenty of lay ins this week. Not busy at all. There shouldn’t be a reason for me to feel that tired, that quickly. Three more weeks until my doctors’ appointment.

I said to my other half: “I’m not gonna have chocolate”.

Not the first time I’ve said that. May not be the last. Won’t feel any different if I don’t try.

Goal: No Chocolate

On another note:

I went to the sexual health clinic today. As I’ve had a swab towards the beginning of this year which was normal. There wasn’t a lot the nurse could do for me. She did take a blood sample to rule out HIV and another, that has slipped my mind.

So, she’s booked me into a walk in clinic, in three weeks time, to see a doctor. May not help. But it might do. Will see what they say.

Always a waiting game.

Being Alone

There was a time when all I wanted was to be home alone. Be in a house where I could do my own thing and when I wanted. Well, it’s not so great after all. My parents left this morning on a two-night getaway.

Which fair enough is great.

But they took the dogs with them. So the house is empty and quiet. There’s no pottering, barking. No doggie cuddles.

It’s lonely. It’s not a feeling I like. I like being on my own but I don’t like being totally alone. If I have to be on my own, I would like the dogs around me. Maybe next time, I should borrow someone else’s dog.  I did write about

I did write about the telly before writing this. But I wasn’t happy with it. Most of the evening I have been watching telly. I wrote while doing so. What I wrote is at the bottom of this post. 

Note to self. Only write when in a quiet area. No telly watching.

Telly watching is usually my procrastination activity. Although, I do love a good Greys Anatomy marathon. Watching telly can put me into a funk. Causing my foggy mind to get darker. I need to change this.

Getting out of a funk is hard. Why am I doing something that’s causing it in the first place?

Goal: Reduce watching telly and have no telly days.

It all must help, right?

 


Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, my hours have reduced this week. So I’ve had extra time on my hands. Today I’ve been productive. Then I turned the telly on! 

Every so often the telly is my friend. Currently on a Greys Anatomy marathon. So good. 

But the telly is also my enemy. Watching too much gets me into a funk. It’s something I need to be careful of, now that I’m aware of it. Well, I’ve been aware of it for awhile. It’s not something I’ve admitted to myself. It’s not something I’ve fixed. It needs to stop. 

Stop the funk. I’m even affecting my writing this evening. So I’m making a goal.

Goal: Reduce my telly watching. Have no telly days. 

Love of Family

I’m sat here watching Long Lost Family. I always get emotional watching this show. It makes me grateful for having my own family. I not only have my parents but an extended family too. Step parents, step siblings etc.

I have lost family members just like everyone else. I still miss them to this day. I may not remember all my memories with them but I remember my love for them.


Well, onto the day I’ve had. It’s been a good day, a productive day. One where I have put all down and accepted telly time as me time. The raspberry fragrance in the air from my candle.

The meeting with manager and director happened today. Talked me through the role. Which didn’t take long. I said yes. This means I will be working once a week in the office. Every Thursday. A full day one week and a half day the next, then repeat.

I’m looking forward to it. My mood has been great today.

The only let down has been by my NVQ assessor. She was due to ring me today about our meeting. But to reasons unknown has failed to do so.

Some more good news as I write this.

My other half past his entry level Maths exam. Second times a charm. Next stage is for him to do the next level to work towards his GCSE Maths.

Not too late to accomplish something which was failed earlier in life.