Life, Travel

Rome: Day 4

With our last full day in Rome we decided to explore the neighborhoods to see where it took us. We headed in the direction of Monti, Esquilino, San Giovanni and Celio as we hadn’t been to these areas so far.

I’m taking that some of these areas aren’t as visited much by tourists as some of the places seemed run down compared to the big attraction areas. It didn’t stop us seeing the monuments and parks these areas had to offer.

First up we saw Trofei di Mario and Pizza Vittoria Emanuele II.

Heading over the Esquilino (Esquiline Hill) we found this was closed off, looking in need of some repair. The Parco del College Oppio were open across the road but most of the things to see were behind very high fencing or closed. It looked like some work was taking place on these areas though. The Trajan’s baths on Oppian Hill and Domus Aurea were two of these. There was one statue to see and the Colosseum could be seen too at another angle.

While we were in this area we walked to San Giovanni to see the Obelisk there before heading to Celio.

The Parco del Celio had more to see and looked like it was kept regular. Walking round all that could be heard was the birds but my favourite part was seeing a turtle sunbathing.

He or she looked at me and everything. Leaving the turtle be, the Chiesa di San Gregoria al Celio was around the corner.

Most things were close together within walking distance, if you didn’t want to take the metro. After yesterday morning and the nice weather here it didn’t seem worth taking. Gregoria’s place was just across from Palatine Hill and round the corner from Circo Massimo. Unfortunately it was closed off today but was still able to get a photo and we walked along the area it stood before walking back towards Campitelli.

By this time we got hungry, stopping off at Antico Caffe Castellino we shared a mushroom pizza. It was nice but it doesn’t compare to the memory of a pizza I had on a trip to Italy with school. This is one of the memories I brought back and still remember.

After lunch we set off walking which led back to the Trevi Fountain where we got to sit on the fountain itself and I throw in a coin.

Next we decided to go to Sant’Angelo to see if we can find and explore the Jewish Ghetto. We found Fontana delle Tartarughe:

And the best bit for me is that we found a Harry Potter shop!! We did find the Jewish Ghetto too it was on the next street. Harry Potter shop got my attention though.

Rome has some lovely places to see today but the turtle and Harry Potter shop won for me. Throwing a coin into Trevi Fountain was up there too.

After a pit stop at the hotel, dinner was calling. We went to a restaurant near the Trevi Fountain. It was calls … Trevi but for the life of me cannot remember what the … was. But it was nice food and I tried a dessert that I wasn’t sure what was but tasted like a cheesecake so was a lovely surprise.

It has been a lovely holiday seeing new sites. It’s home day tomorrow. Other then the views from the journey to the airport, that’s as much as Rome we’ll be seeing tomorrow. Until the next holiday.

Life

Rome: Day 3

Up and out to the Vatican this morning. The metro underground was busier then I’ve seen the London underground. Termini the main station near us was that busy the queues were off the platform. It took us two trains passing before we got on one. Thankfully, being the time of morning it was, there was one ever 2 minutes. We got to were we needed to be with time to spare; ending up having a drink at a cafe before checking in for our tour of the Vatican City Museums, Sistine Chapel and St. Peters Basilica.

The tour went well; only thing for me was the listening device kept going out of range even we next to the tour guide. Even so we spent a good chunk of the day in there with the guide showing us round explaining history to us.

I’ve only selected a few photos to show, I took quite a few. Think there was 18 museums within the Vatican. Photos weren’t allowed on the Sistine Chapel.

At St. Peters Basilica we were able to go underground to see the tombs and then had a chance with a fee to go to the top of the dome to look at the views. To get to the top of the dome there was two choices 8 euros to walk up all 551 steps or 10 euros to use the elevator for the first 200 then walk the rest. I’d advice paying the extra 2 euros. That elevator ride helped. My legs were acting only half way up the 351 steps.

One the way down, I ended up doing all 551 steps. Once we got to the elevator point; just waiting in the toilet queue and then for a sandwich in the cafe my legs were shaking. I decided it was best to keep moving rather then stopping and waiting for the elevator.

We had a walk around St. Peters Square then decided to see what Castel Sant’Angelo was all about. We ended up going at a good time as we were able to get in for free. My legs weren’t happy through as it ment more steps to go up to get to top of this building. Luckily not as many as the dome.

Even with my legs crying out we decided to walk back to the hotel. We walked across the Ponte Sant’Angelo to get on the right side of the Tiber River, then made our way back. We past some of the sights we had seen yesterday. Seeing the Piazza Navona again and going into the Museo di Roma while we were in the area.

Back to getting back to the hotel we past Piazza Della Minerva.

Once back at the hotel I had chance to rest my legs again before we decided to go out to find some dinner. We went to La Cucina Nazionale down the road from our hotel. It had nice food and a lovely atmosphere. Certainly would go again. I’m liking the apple juice here in Italy. It’s dark green in colour, not like what I’ve drank at home.

Life, Travel

Rome: Day 2

Thankfully not as early a start as yesterday morning but in time for the start of breakfast at the hotel. I’m glad to have a memory foam mattress back home, definitely a luxury compared to the mattress here. Was able to sleep still though. Breakfast was simple; bread, cereals, yoghurts, fruit, cheese and meats available.

A busy day in Rome trying to see as much as we can. First stop was the Colosseum as we had a pre-booked tour. The tour lasted an hour then we had another hour to look around the rest on our own before the second part started. It was nice to have the tour as I don’t think I would have been in there for as long as I would without it. Got my money’s worth out of it.

Next stop on the tour was the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill. Again I think having the tour guide made it more interesting. I’m better someone telling me what the history is then trying to read it off posters. This I thought was the better part out of the two places. You could spend a few hours at the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill as it’s a big place to look around.

Being close by we ended up going back to the Capitaline Museum buildings we saw in the dark last night. The Museum’s were open but we didn’t fancy going in today. Then we saw the il Vittoriano in the day light too, deciding we will have a look around. Most of it was free to do so. There is a museum inside but again choose not to look but what did make it was being able to go to the roof of the il Vittoriano and seeing the views. This did cost 10 euros but was worth going up a lift to see. Usually I don’t do lifts.

We next headed for the Trevi Fountain but got lost. First coming to the L.Go di Torre Argentina ruin.

Thankfully after finding where we were on the map we got to the Trevi Fountain.

We found a cafe here to have a sandwich; Caffe Trevi. I ended up having a cheese and tomato crispy sandwich which pretty much looked like a individual pizza folded in half. After the food it was still only 3:30 pm. We hadn’t really planned what else to do so we went exploring.

Piazza di Pietra; this was just a building side on in this area I liked.

We ended up at the Pantheon, seeing the fountain there and went inside. The place is free to go in but you need to be silent. Having the person say shh down a mic through speakers doesn’t quite sound like shh.

Next we found ourselves at Piazza Navona. Here there was three fountains.

A little further we found another type of fountain at Piazza Chiesa Nuova.

With my legs getting tired we headed back to the hotel. We went back via Foro Tralano so I could take a photo in the day light, after last night’s one.

Before ended back at the hotel we checked the metro station so we had an idea where we needed to be tomorrow and times etc. Good job as the closest one to us was closed so we needed to go a bit further to the main metro station. Didn’t think 1.50 euro was bad for 100 minutes worth journey.

A quick rest and hair washed later it was time to go out to find this evening’s tea. We only went up the road to Doveralu. It was a nice place; tried a strawberry mix mocktail but unfortunately the lemonade took over the taste. There was a little confusion over dessert to try have a none chocolate one then my apple cake came out with chocolate sauce on. The gentleman was very nice and got me a new one without chocolate sauce on. The apple cake was worth it though; helped take the mocktail taste away too.

A busy but lovely day. Will have to see what the tour of the Vatican tomorrow holds.

Life, Travel

Rome: Day 1

An early morning start leading to being in Rome, at the hotel by 3:30 pm local time. Rome is an hour ahead to back home; due to the early start and night shift I’ve done, it’s welcome tonight. Get to go to bed earlier.

We found a shuttle service at the train station that took us straight to our hotel. For 30 euros for both of us it was a lot better then the 48 euro charge for a taxi. I’m just glad I wasn’t the one driving. There doesn’t seem to be a system to me and it’s who gets there first with crossing the road. A red light doesn’t mean a lot. One things I am grateful for back home is our road safety and lights in place.

Once we got to the hotel; Giolli Nationale and checked in, we went straight out to explore. Being a Sunday and after 3:30 pm we didn’t think we’d be able to do that much but to be honest I’m surprised how much we did see.

We happen to be on walking distance to a few of the sightseeing destinations. First we thought about walking to the Colosseum, the queue was massive and near closing. We ended up reserving a guided tour to the Colosseum arena, Palatino Hill and Roman Forum for tomorrow.

We ended up going the opposite way after this to explore. We saw the Piazza Mignanelli, Piazza di Spagna and The Spanish Steps and Chiesa della Trinita dei Monti.

Continuing on we ended up at Piazza dei Popolo; saw the Obelisk, went to the Museo Leonardo Da Vinci and saw the views from the Piazzale Napoleone I.

Walking back it was starting to get a little chilly and we were getting hungry. We took a trip to the hotel room to grab my coat and drop off the items we didn’t need and went in search of some food. I can’t remember the name of the restaurant; but their lasanga was lovely. Unfortunately they didn’t have any dessert that I liked so we ended up having a Jam Tart at a Officine Italia Roma.

After food we decided we weren’t quite ready to go back to the hotel. We saw the Piazza della Repubblica, Piazza Foro Traiana, the Capitoline Museums but these ones were after sunset so only saw the outside. I’d like to go back in day light to explore more. I’m not sure if I’ve missed a name off here, apologies if I have.

It’s been a lovely first day in Rome and my body is feeling it; having done approximately 23,903 steps today alone. Think I’ll sleep tonight.

journal entries, Life, Personal Development

Journal Entries: 16th – 28th Feb

16th Feb

Watched: The Bucket List > 3 out of 5

I’ve mentioned to Dave that I’m unhappy and that the stress of my feelings of our relationship is getting to me. It’s affecting my mental health. I’m not my funny self. Even my parents have mentioned I’m not. I’m trying to break through. He says things will get better with time. But I’m not seeing any actions.


17th Feb

Abundance Circle Part 2

What is my history with money? What did my family upbringing pass onto me?

My mum didn’t say no much to the things I wanted when I was little. Her relationship with money got her into debt. It taught me where the money came from as I had to start working for it once I was 15. Then I realised it wasn’t an abundant thing. It needs to be earnt. There were times where I had spending sprees but now I know monies value to help me live the life I want. That I don’t have to spend it to be happy but it allows me to live and enjoy things in life if I treat money with respect.

What is my current relationship with money? What is the story I tell myself?

I work hard for what I get. I need money to live and to enjoy aspects of my life. I cannot just throw it away. I concentrate on spending it wisely on what I need then save up for what I want. My relationship with money is getting healthier.

Money Triggers

  1. We have our own bank account and then a joint account. I’m unsure he is able to afford all we need
  2. Materialistic is not what I want
  3. I have my pension fund through my wage. Need to save for retirement; extra money saved by myself?
  4. Him just spending money like it’s growing on trees

18th Feb

Finished Reading: Boundaries > How to Draw the line in your head, heart and home by Jennie Miller and Victoria Lambert

Watched: Jaws > 2 out of 5

My day didn’t start out the best. I ended up reversing into my mums’ car. Her’s has a scratch, where mine has a big dent in the bumper. I was able to take time away from waiting for the kitchen delivery to go get a quote. I was happy with the price, so it is booked in for 2 days from now.

We had to wait all day at the house for 2 separate deliveries to come. We were able to get the 2nd bedroom painting completed and the fixing of the plaster in the hallway completed. We were able to start sanding down. I think a couple more hours on it and it’ll be complete too.

My aim for tonight is to stay up a little bit longer than I usually do. In 3 nights time, I start my first set of night shifts. So this will be a test for me.


19th Feb

Finished Reading: Becoming the Supervet: Listening to the Animals by Noel Fitzpatrick

Dave brought up my grumpiness to him today. It’s taken the month for him to speak up. He said other things are gonna change too. We’ll have to see if I fall in love with him again.

I’ve had a good day for me. I had a ‘me’ day. I finished Noel’s book; I’m afraid it took me 4 months and 2 books in between to read it. It had some lovely moments and I ended up putting a donation to his charity. I also danced to music too and let my body move how it wanted. I think it’s a way of inhabiting my body I wanna do more often.


20th Feb

Watched: The Secret > 4 out of 5

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day one, Part one > I want to live a simply authentic life. One where I can be myself with anyone I meet or interact with. I want to improve my relationship/communications with my work colleagues and patients. I want to improve my relationship with my partner. I want to improve my relationship with myself.

Day one, Part two > I find it easier being authentic and vulnerable in my parental home but if I leave the house I would be less me. Anxiety and depression have been my roadblocks in life. I have in the recent year been able to open up to others but I’m not able to be me with people I meet in person. I find it easier to write down what I feel or do thanks to the journalling/blogging I do but I still have feelings of being lonely without the community and authentic feel of being togetherness. There are times I start to do so but then clam up and retreat back into myself.

My Achievement: Finished BSL Video Series posts on the blog. They are all now scheduled.  All I need to do is go back to add links to connect them all when they’ve gone live.


21st Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day one, Part one Continued: If I reached these goals, I would feel I’m being true to myself, living and communicating how I want to be doing and everyone around me will get the true me as well. I feel that the anxiety would reduce or in fact go completely. For those looking in on my life, I would like to think that they would see the real me and want to be a part of my life, with me feeling like I’m not pushing them away or my anxiety and depression affecting their lives negatively.

Day one, Part two Continued: I think it is that I feel I will say the wrong thing or that their judgement on me will cause me to go back with my anxiety and depression. That the person they perceive me to be isn’t the person I actually am when I open up. Feat of losing people and being alone.

Day two, Part one > Authentic relation to me means being yourself, showing up and being vulnerable to everyone you meet. Doing the things in life that you want to, when you want to, with those you love. Owning up to when your wrong and doing what can be done to help yourself and others.

I feel that I have this type of relationship with my step-dad and I am getting there with my mum. I am somewhat there with my partner. Yes, I would like to be more real in all my relationships; my partner, friends and family, colleagues and patients, strangers. I feel that my fear of what others are going to judge about me and ultimately being alone in life. I also have the fear that I don’t truly know who I am, myself.

Day two, Part two > 0 = non-existent and 10 = utterly fantastic

Integrity: (I always show up for myself without ever hiding or elaborating who I am. What you see on the outside is a true reflection of what is going on, on my inside. I am comfortable in my own skin) = 4

Depth of connection: (I have several strong friendships and’or relationship where I feel totally known and I feel I truly know them) = 3

Impact: ( I know that I make a positive impact and what I do matters. There are people better off because of me) =

Resolving conflict: (I am able to tell people when I am hurt, angry or upset with them. When I experience conflict with people I always deal with it in a healthy direct and effective way) = 4

Trust: (There are people in my life that I feel that I can trust and open up to. I am a trustworthy person and I create a safe environment for others to open up to me) = 5

Communication: (I am able to express my feelings in a constructive way and am happy talking about my strengths and failures, I am also good at listening effectively to other people) = 2

Presence: (I am able to focus on the person in front of me. I do not spend time in my head thinking about other things when I am with some. I spend more time engaged in the present then thinking about the past and/or future) = 2

Priorities: ( I am happy with the balance I have in my life. I am able to focus on what is important. I am content with the time and attention I give the closest relationships in my life) = 4

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If the circle represents how authentic I am  – How am I doing? > rubbish. There are more blank areas then coloured. Disheartening to look at.

What areas am I doing well in? > trust is my highest. I am more trustworthy then I used to be but can do a lot better. I have 4 areas of 4; they are ones I’ve spent mostly working on the last year.

I would like to improve all but communication and presence are big ones which I think will help me improve the rest naturally.

Three things that I would most like to change about my relationships are:

  1. Deal with conflict in a healthy, direct and effective way
  2. Be happy to talk about my strengths and failures
  3. Be present in my head and when with a person

22nd Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day three, Part one > 5 most important things or relationships in my life?

  1. Mum and step-dad
  2. Pups
  3. Dad and step-mum
  4. Grandparents
  5. Dave
  6. B
  7. V
  8. E
  9. House

How much I give each one of these each week?

  1. I say hi and have a quick catch up each day/week
  2. I give them a cuddle/attention each day. I walk them every so often
  3. I speak to them every so often
  4. I speak/see them every so often
  5. I speak daily. My attention no so much
  6. Speak weekly
  7. Speak weekly
  8. Speak or write every so often
  9. I go at least 1 day a week

Do I feel if that’s enough?

  1. NO, need at least an evening or day with them
  2. Need to walk more often
  3. Should speak weekly, then see at least monthly
  4. Should go at least once a week when I’m not asked
  5. We’re going through a rocky patch. Our relationship/connection needs strengthening
  6. ,7,8. Yes but should see more often
    9. Nope, needs more of my time right now

What could I do to change to make sure I’m investing in these priorities? What pebbles or piles of sand could I shift to make more room in my schedule? > Saying no more often to take up the none important things. Schedule a time to call or see these people each week and stick to it on my end. Delegate daily tasks to my partner.

Day three, Part two > I am someone who finds it difficult to say no. I have always been a people pleaser. I fear that someone is going to judge or reject me if I say no to them or an element in my life.


23rd Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day one, Part one Continued: I guess there would be less anxiety in me and I would be able to have a sense of freedom in myself.

Day three, Part one Continued: Week I could say no ?

Day three, Part two Continued: I think at first it might be a challenge to pause to think of what I really want from the commitment. Even pausing when I already know it’s a yes to get used to it. There are times I’m disheartened when someone says no but I don’t think anything less of them if they’ve something else happening or don’t want to do what I’ve asked.

Day four, Part one > I am demonstrating the following most likely to create an environment of trust: Concern for others and being truthful about what’s on my mind.

I need to develop: Stimulating discussion and being curious. Painting a picture of mutual success. Being open to difficult conversations.

I need to rid the following: Focus on convincing others. Pretending to listen. Allowing emotions to distract from my listening.

I am good at exhibiting concern for others as I feel it’s a natural part of me from the people pleasing and my job revolves around being concerned for others. Being truthful about what’s on my mind is better than when I was growing up. I’ve been more open with others in the past year or so. I am better at opening up with those closest to me; parents and partner. I need to work on the other positive ones as connection and difficult conversations are hardest for me. I am getting there slowly with it but not comfortable being vulnerable in that part of me yet.

Day four, Part 2 > I have sent the feedback questions to D, G, V and Dave. My step-dad and mum. I even posted it on my blog; which is out of my comfort zone as it is inviting people to comment about what I write.


24th Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day three, Part one Continued: I am going to say no to courses that I am asked to go onto or am interested in as I still haven’t completed others I have started.

Day four, Part one Continued: I could ask someone who I know has had an event recently, to see how it went.

Day five, Part one > 

  1. Surface level: Colleagues and patients and strangers. Colleagues because I’ve started a new job.
  2. Some colleagues
  3. Blog, friends of friends and family I don’t see often
  4. Close friends and family, Dave
  5. Step-dad, B, Both D’s, mum to some degree, G, V, E

Which level do I prefer talking at? > I think with most I am at sharing opinions level. But I’d like to be sharing deeply with each other to most. If not all in my life. I feel I’m at level 3 in my conversations because of the fear of them judging and knowing what to say and at the right time.

When do I find it appropriate to share at a level 5? When isn’t it? > I feel it’s appropriate when I’m with someone I feel I can trust in a place I feel comfortable in. I don’t feel it’s right saying some level 5 in public or at work.

I would say I don’t share at a level 5 very often. Maybe once a week to a very close family or friend and/or partner. I could start by telling someone I am feeling that they don’t know about it; for example how I feel about my relationship.

Day five, Part 2 > I struggle with saying what I mean. I feel that hurting the other person holds me back, or saying what I mean but it’s not being understood. If I could overcome this I feel I would open up more to others. I try my very best to not to say untrue things but times when I feel I can’t pause to think of an answer I come out with the first thing that comes out of my head. I guess this is also unedited. I try not to sound unkind but I do come out with what I mean in a way that comes across as unkind. When I try to explain something it isn’t always clear to make it helpful. I think in a rush so I just come out with what comes in my head. I feel if I pause before I said things and really thought about it I would be saying what I mean naturally every day.


25th Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day four, Part one Continued: Follow up questions are something I need to work on. I ask one thing and a person replies then I get stuck again on what to say and the conversation goes out.

Day six, Part 1 > 

Congruence = Agreement or harmony; compatibility

My backstage is bigger. I have been very good at keeping myself to myself and not letting other people in; including my family. I have been able to let people in, in recent years and I’m going to continue to do so. I want to reveal more of myself into my front stage. Those who matter will still want to know me. Even though I spend time backstage, keeping things to myself, I’m not good at self-care. I am slowly doing this in parts but it needs to be integrated into my life.

Day six, Part 2 > I thought the scale exercise was good to do. For my opinions, there was mainly a wide column down the middle. When I did the m2 part, I found I gave myself better thoughts for them all. Looking at that, I saw that I’m harder on myself then I feel others give to me. I gave the task to my partner and my step-dad to get their first-hand thoughts on where I was on the scale. Both my partner and step-dad were at one side or the other apart from a couple that was in the middle.


26th Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day seven, Part two > Difficult conversations tended to be those I avoided. I retreated into myself as I didn’t want any confrontation, fearful and clam up. I am still but I’ve been having them. I start shaking and get teary once they’ve been had. If the person has got a bit moody or at work, aggressive; I suppose I’m still learning how to have difficult conversations. I get to the point of clamming up and the conversation gets to a standstill.

I’d like to feel like I can handle any situation of confrontations and difficult conversations. Putting myself out there and having small conversations first before building up to a big one could help me or writing it down. At work where confrontational conversations are a big chance, I could ask if there is a way to be present at some planned conversations to help me understand ways of de-escalating the conflict. Also, I could see if there is any training to help.


27th Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day six, Part one Continued: Self-care would look like for me; reading a book, going for a massage, getting my hair and nails done, spending time reflecting and journaling, going for a walk with the dogs.

Day eight, Part two > Be Curious with others.

Today, I am going to sit with my dad for a few hours, then having tea at B house. I’ll practice being curious with them.


28th Feb

Authencity Kick Starter Course

Day nine, Part one > “Tami has touched the lives of so many. The differences ranged from small to massive. She took time out of her life to make a difference to people and animals alike. When she wasn’t helping others she was seeing the world, having new experiences. Being the person she wanted to be, living her dreams while helping others live theirs.”

The life I live now; my job works in helping others with mental health but there are times I don’t feel that parts of the job fulfil me and making a difference, although it is a step in the right direction, which I need to learn what I can before I figure out my next step. In life, right now, I’m now happy in my relationship, which isn’t helping me be the happy person I am while living my dreams. I’m still figuring out what experiences and travels I want out of life. Plus the way to become happier in my relationship.

Day nine, Part two > I suppose as I’m only new to my current job that I’m in the zone of competence. I’m learning throughout how to do a great job here to get into the zone of excellence. With my volunteering, having been doing it for many years I would say I’m in the zone of excellence. I love it there but I feel there is more I could do. I feel in my everyday life I’m in the zone of excellence but for some things like the house, which is a new project I’m in the zone of competence. I think the impact of these on me is that I never quite feel a sense of fulfilment. There’s always something getting in the way. That I get doubts or run away from things before I get to a zone of genius making myself to re-start from the beginning. For those around me, it impacts them as they never know what I’m thinking or going to do next, as I keep changing gears. That some are always concerned about my own mental health.

Life, Personal Development

Feedback Questions

Dear Readers,

We may not know each other personally, by reading my posts you get a snapshot into my life, the person I am and the person I want to me.

If you would take time to answer the following questions in the comments, I would appreciate it massively.

If you change the ‘me and my’ in the questions to ‘my blog’ to make it related more to what you read, then knowing me personally.

The reason I have these questions is because I am doing an authentic relating course through Naked Hedgehogs. I am trying to understand myself and what I want from being authentic and to live up to being so.

Thank you.

Much Love,

Tami x