A Goal of No Chocolate

Happy Birthday, Daddy!

It’s always good to spend time with my dad and step mum. I didn’t feel guilty about having a whole afternoon/evening watching telly.

My dad is uncomfortable going far for long. He finds it easier to stay in. As he had already been out that day. Telly it was. The main feeling I had today was a sudden onset of tiredness.

One moment I was perfectly fine. Then, the next, I couldn’t keep my eyes open. I’m blaming the 2/3 of chocolate share bag I had.

A part of me thinks that’s crazy. But the other thinks what else could it be?

I’ve had plenty of lay ins this week. Not busy at all. There shouldn’t be a reason for me to feel that tired, that quickly. Three more weeks until my doctors’ appointment.

I said to my other half: “I’m not gonna have chocolate”.

Not the first time I’ve said that. May not be the last. Won’t feel any different if I don’t try.

Goal: No Chocolate

On another note:

I went to the sexual health clinic today. As I’ve had a swab towards the beginning of this year which was normal. There wasn’t a lot the nurse could do for me. She did take a blood sample to rule out HIV and another, that has slipped my mind.

So, she’s booked me into a walk in clinic, in three weeks time, to see a doctor. May not help. But it might do. Will see what they say.

Always a waiting game.

Being Alone

There was a time when all I wanted was to be home alone. Be in a house where I could do my own thing and when I wanted. Well, it’s not so great after all. My parents left this morning on a two-night getaway.

Which fair enough is great.

But they took the dogs with them. So the house is empty and quiet. There’s no pottering, barking. No doggie cuddles.

It’s lonely. It’s not a feeling I like. I like being on my own but I don’t like being totally alone. If I have to be on my own, I would like the dogs around me. Maybe next time, I should borrow someone else’s dog.  I did write about

I did write about the telly before writing this. But I wasn’t happy with it. Most of the evening I have been watching telly. I wrote while doing so. What I wrote is at the bottom of this post. 

Note to self. Only write when in a quiet area. No telly watching.

Telly watching is usually my procrastination activity. Although, I do love a good Greys Anatomy marathon. Watching telly can put me into a funk. Causing my foggy mind to get darker. I need to change this.

Getting out of a funk is hard. Why am I doing something that’s causing it in the first place?

Goal: Reduce watching telly and have no telly days.

It all must help, right?

 


Unfortunately, due to unforeseen circumstances, my hours have reduced this week. So I’ve had extra time on my hands. Today I’ve been productive. Then I turned the telly on! 

Every so often the telly is my friend. Currently on a Greys Anatomy marathon. So good. 

But the telly is also my enemy. Watching too much gets me into a funk. It’s something I need to be careful of, now that I’m aware of it. Well, I’ve been aware of it for awhile. It’s not something I’ve admitted to myself. It’s not something I’ve fixed. It needs to stop. 

Stop the funk. I’m even affecting my writing this evening. So I’m making a goal.

Goal: Reduce my telly watching. Have no telly days. 

Relaxation Techniques

I had a little scare a while ago. All due to idiots on the road. Causing another car to nearly tip over and head straight in my direction. On a 60mph road no less. The idiot driver trying to over take within a dip/corner. Noone thankfully bumped into another.

When I saw the car coming towards me, my heart felt like it was gonna jump out of my chest. I had to stop myself from crying. Used the breathing in and out technique. Luckily I did some of my relaxation module before I left the house. The breathing technique was one I tried.

Breathing Technique

I had to stand bare footed, eyes closed, hands on lower stomach. Breathing in through my nose to the bottom of my stomach. Then breathe out through my mouth. Repeat.

Well, at the time of doing this standing up in my room, I just felt frustrated in myself. But now I’m glad. It’s helped me calm myself and prevent a panic/crying attack in the car. Not what you want before turning up to a customer home.

Progressive Muscle Relaxation

I also tried the progressive muscle relaxation technique before I left for work. This didn’t help me in the car. But I left it released some tension in my muscles before I left for work.

This technique involved inhaling through the nose as you tighten muscles and exhale through the mouth as you release the tension in the muscles.

I did this while lying on my back, palms up and feet to their sides. When breathing in, focus on one body part at a time, e.g. left leg. Tense all the muscles in this body part. When breathing out, relax all muscles.

Do this with all the muscles in the body, including the face and buttocks. In-between each body part, have a breathe in and out to help relaxation.

After this one, I felt my muscle tingle, like they were starting to relax. There was another technique but I didn’t want to spoil a good thing. I’ll do that another time. To properly relax, it says to repeat techniques daily, getting into the habit.

Goal: Relaxation Techniques

 

A Day of Indecision and The Joy Equation

I’ve had a lot of things go through my mind today. It’s been hard to concentrate on one thing. I need to do this, that. I want to get this done. I’ll do that. I could do that. A day of indecision. Within this indecision, I’ve been able to be somewhat productive.

Food shop. Hair. Doggie walk. The Joy Equation. Yoga. In between work and some food.

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One of the things that I suddenly decided to do at the last minute was completing The Joy Equation.

For anyone who hasn’t heard of this; it’s a personal development type course working on figuring out your core values and big dreams. A 6-week course that into a topic per week. Joining a community of woman who is working to creating a meaning to their lives; working towards their goals.  This is my view of the course. The main site page of the course, on the link above, will explain all so much better. The author allows the community to share the links. I have written all this on my own accord; gaining nothing by doing so. 

It may be designed a 6-week course but it certainly took me longer than that. Three months in fact. But I have got there.

My Mission/Purpose Statement:

Have acceptance and connection with myself, be present for my family and a force for positive change.

My Core Values:

  • Health
  • Simplicity
  • Balance
  • Adventure
  • Connection
  • Radiance
  • Laughter
  • Acceptance

I’ve already written my six big goals and four goal declarations. These can be found here.

At the end of the workbook, there is a My Vision page where I can sum up the main points of the six weeks. This I have scanned and put on my wall along with my other sheets.

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This isn’t the first time I have done this course. I did it a couple of years ago when my mind wasn’t in a good place. It helped me process my wondering mind.

Now that I have finished the course. I was curious what the differences were from my course answers from nearly three years ago. Getting to older workbook out, I saw there was a slight difference with mostly similarities. Three years ago, I was at university. Let’s see:

My Mission/Purpose Statement (Three Years Ago):

To celebrate the joy, make a difference to animals and nourish those around me.

My Core Values (Three Years Ago):

  • Health
  • Love
  • Family
  • Balance
  • Growth
  • Adventure
  • Openness
  • Outdoors

My Six Big Dreams (Three Years Ago):

  1. Travel around the world, seeing different cultures and ways of life
  2. Own a beautifully, energy efficient green (help the environment) home
  3. Make a difference in the animal care/welfare world
  4. Get married for life and have kids
  5. Experience joy for my whole life, accept and be happy – no anti-depressants
  6. Nourish all the people/relationships in my life

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I believe I have changed mindset quite a bit in the last few years. Something like this I find can prove it.

Whether it’s a course like this or your own way of developing and reviewing yourself and your goals. Doing personal development can lead you to know where you may want to go in life and yourself. Everyone does develop without consciously putting the work in.

Have you done this course or one similar? Do you do something else entirely to help yourself develop and complete your goals? What are your goals?

It would be interesting to see other accounts of personal development and goal storming.

 

A Recharge

Six wonderful days off work coming to an end. Regardless of my foggy mind and negativity; it’s been good to have a recharge.

After a quiet conversation day. Finishing season 1 of Untold Stories of the ER. Please, Netflix put another on. A walk around the village and a DC deck building care game. Woo, I won. I came home and got myself somewhat back into work mode.

iPod on the speakers, raspberry candle lit, sort out of my room, organised myself for work. Once that was done, I did some of my mileage. O boy, have I been neglecting the mileage. I did a week’s worth this evening.

Realising I’m under two months behind! How bad is that?

I don’t wanna say it’s only my mileage. Thank god it’s not my washing. But I need to get out of leaving things and procrastinating rather than actually getting some thing done.

Not just my mileage, but my goals. The ones I set for myself, my relaxation module I was given by my therapist and looking after myself. Mentally and physically. Which are my two goals of quarter 3 of the year.

As I’m not quite tired yet. I’m gonna have a hug with a fluffy pup and then read. As reading is something else I’ve been neglecting.

 

Letting Frustrations Out

I woke with a headache. Still tired and feeling drained. I floated through the day. Or that’s at least how it felt. I didn’t want to do a lot.

Being day five of six and having had four busy days. My body wanted me to slow down. I listened, saying I didn’t want to do the plans we already had. I’m glad now because it down poured that much it was coming through the conservatory roof.

At first, I don’t think my partner was happy about not doing a lot. We hardly spoke today until bedtime and that was more to do with anything but my frustrations.

But I’m glad I had planned a girls night with the one who couldn’t come to the group girls night. It was fun. Had a meal, chatted our frustrations throughout and watched The Space Between Us.

The second time I’ve watched it and it’s still sweet. Enjoyed it.

Getting my frustrations out about my partner to my friend helped me. For when I arrived home I was a little more me.

Now I need to think of a plan of attack to get my partner being a full grown, responsible, adult without me having to ask.

Is that too big of a goal?

Monthly Review: July 2017

I haven’t done a proper review of a month before. So bare with me. I want to get into the habit of regular reviews in order for me to take accountability and know where I need to focus the next month.

I think I want to do it in section; break it up a little to help me understand all the goals I place on myself.

Journaling

I’m doing very well so far. I’m journaling daily. Whether it’s something on my mind about my day or what I’ve been inspired by. When I write I come up with goals within the moment.

  • Relax in the bath > I haven’t even started with this one. To begin with, I don’t have a bath in my parents household. It’s a shower only bathroom. May have to use the bath at my in-laws.
  • Think of a blog name > Well I can tick this one off. √ My Mind Medicine 
  • Relaxation Techniques > I have started this one. Tried two from my module yesterday. A post on these will be published in the up-coming weeks

 

Holiday Council

I will talk about this in more detail when it comes to Holiday Council season. For now, here is a link for you.

At a Glance Calendar

  • Date night √
  • Call/visit my dad and grandma √
  • Long weekend off work √
  • Birthday √
  • Baby shower √
  • Yoga > 12 times √
  • 100 √

My at a Glance calendar has been successful this month. All have been ticked off. Some of these topics will be published within the upcoming weeks.

The Year Ahead

I think I have been incorporating Cherish into my life. Spending time with friends and family as much as I can. But due to the fog in my mind, I could be doing this better by putting it in my own love of things and mindset.

  • Family and Friends > √ I’m giving this a tick for this month. Seen all my family apart from my big brother and kids and my middle sister and kids. The rest I have seen. Some on multiple occasions. Due to a number of birthdays this month, I have seen friends weekly. My other half I feel I need to cherish more. Although we do spend time together and had a long weekend off, I need to get my mind back to positive and lift the fog.
  • Emotionally, physically and financially healthy > I believe I’m on the right path for these. I’m being honest with myself and those around me about my feelings. Talking with my other half. Having referred myself to Rightsteps. Starting the positive steps course on Friday. Physically I feel like shit. I have had my second blood test for my Vitamin D. I haven’t heard anything to assume my levels are back to normal. But yesterday I booked another doctor appointment to see what they can do about me still feeling shit. I also booked in with a sexual health clinic to help that side of things. Financially, we’ve been able to save a good amount up to now. More than the 100 a month that’s on my At a Glance Calendar.
  • Build up my Career > As you’ll find out tomorrow on my daily post. I’ve been offered the opportunity to review and update care plans/system. Hopefully, this will build up my career for any other future opportunities.

 

The Joy Equation

This one I do talk about in a future post. But again here is the link. I’ll just do the goal declarations this month.

  • Research, where I want to travel > Have not started.
  • Research, how to help others > I do help people daily in my job. I do want to see if there is more I could do. In a way, I haven’t started this either.
  • Develop a daily journal practice > Woo, I have started this one. Although, I don’t want to tick this one off just yet. I want to make sure I have the habit locked down.
  • Exercise at least four times a week > Yoga 12 times this month. Plus there are walks I do that I don’t mark down. Maybe I should? Looking at what my phone has logged. I hit over 10,000 steps for one day of July. Coming close on a couple of others. Averaging 3673 steps per day. Total steps of 110,192 steps for the month. I think that’s amazing. Just think what it could come to if I have my phone on my all the time.

 

So there you have it a review of July. How did your July go?