I had some winding down time this evening. I still had a plan in mind for my relaxation. The fact that I had a plan does that make it a relaxing evening? Probably not for my mind. That clearly is something I need to work on.

I watched today’s FB live and I posted my Jigsaw Metaphor in the coaching group page. I did start watching the YCY (Your Courageous Year) webinar but I wasn’t feeling it at the time.

From a point made in the coaching FB live about procrastination, I accepted my feeling of needing to turn the webinar off. The point made that helped me to see my action this way is some procrastination is good if the activity isn’t right at the time. I am paraphrasing¬†slightly.

By saying this, I don’t mean it’s acceptable to stop or pause all activities that give me that feeling. The feeling is trying to tell me something I haven’t yet understood. Working out the meaning and using the feeling to benefit me in some way, is how I wanna use it.

I don’t wanna revert back to bad procrastination of putting this off. Avoiding until I’m overwhelmed. I’m the one letting my actions have a negative¬†effect on me and the outcomes in my life. I’m the one who can change these into the positive, to benefit me and the life I lead.

Changing Goals

I’ve had a look at a couple of my goals today:

  1. Relaxation Techniques
  2. Slow my breathing down to 10 breaths a minute

On my blackboard, I have these as Relaxation and Breathing. I stood there and looked at them. Saying the words to myself and thought; they’re just words!

I breathe daily. If I didn’t I wouldn’t be writing this right now. I relax by watching telly, reading etc.

It occurred to me that these goals aren’t right for me. They need changing. Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve tried a few calming/mindfulness/meditation apps. I found these helped with my breathing and relaxation. I’ve also got back into yoga a little. That helps me with my breathing. I feel relaxed afterwards.

After a little thought, I’ve come to find 2 new goals to replace the above, that resonate with me more:

  1. Develop a meditation practice
  2. Develop a yoga practice

I believe this gives me more of a guidance to allow me to work on them, step by step. Looking for my goals I do believe they connect with a couple others. I’ll have a think about those, see if I wanna make changes.

Watched: The hitman’s bodyguard > 4 out of 5

Making a Difference?

I care about people. I care about the world I live in. I care what I do to cause a ripple effect. Whether I’m doing good or bad. I want it to be good all the time. I’m not a saint, I’ve done bad things in my life so far.

I don’t wanna keep living that way. I wanna make a difference. A difference to one person. To another. To my community. To where my heart is. To the world around me.

That is a big ask of myself.

How is small, unknowledgeable me going to achieve something as huge as that?

I may be small in size but I have a big heart, strength and ambition. I may not be knowledgeable in that area but I have knowledge. I have to begin somewhere. I’ve set myself an ambition, a challenge to make a difference.

I may not know the exact path I’m gonna walk. One step at a time, I’ll be on that path to my goal. Following the journey, I’m excited, scared, amazed at myself to discovery. If I can make a difference in one person’s life. How many will they make a difference to?

Every action or non-action has a ripple effect on life, on the universe in my opinion. I want mine to be positive, to enlighten others.

Goals are like Jigsaw Puzzles

Goals are like a jigsaw puzzle. The box shows a visual representation of what the end looks like. There to remind us each time we focus on it.

It would be great to open the box, let the pieces fall out and the puzzle be complete. The end goal realised. It’s never that easy.

Reaching the end goal leads to a path of enlightenment, gratitude, sadness, fear and all other emotions in between. No matter the end representation, each connection needs to be put together piece by piece. For the picture; the goal to form.

If goals were easy, we’d be completing them every day. Becoming a habit, to the point they’re not goals anymore.

A goal is a journey. A journey to who and what you wanna be. Don’t take the pieces for granted. It’s within you. Whatever it takes, those pieces allow learning, acceptance, sadness, laughter. Make each one count.

The end goal will arrive. It’s the journey, those small pieces that count.

Monthly Review: January 2018

I’m a bit in non-belief that January has come to an end already. One month of Joy 2018 done. I feel I’m embracing my theme this year straight of the bat. Cherish, my 2017 theme, took me a few months to get settled in with.

January has given me memories and hurdles to overcome. My biggest, not sure if the word is correct, I wanna say risk of the month is signing up for the Ultimate Coaching Programme with David Key.

Coaching is only a new ambition for me. I am a carer but I’ve never officially coached anyone. I’m feeling good about it though. I’ve told two of my close, trusted friends about my blog. One of whom has said they really like it and my honesty.

I’ve also brought cherish into the New Year. Even though it was my theme for 2017, I still wanna incorporate it into my life. I’ve been spending time with my family and friends. I’ve attended birthday and christening celebrations, family meals, friend get togethers and girly days. Dave and I have put a few days aside for ourselves too.

I even started therapy sessions as well. Mainly a big conversation. Someone I can vent too. Tonight is my 5th session. Soon that’ll be drawing to an end.

January has brought hurdles too but as I’m feeling positive I’ll skip them this month. They’re all hurdles I can find solutions too.

Now the biggy, my goals. I like to set goals, I have many, just take a look at my dream page. You’ll see. I believe my coaching course has helped my own mindset from what I’ve watched so far. I have my list of goals, yeah, but I’ve been more relaxed about completing these.

If I’m honest I feel I’ve done more, than when I was stressing about completing them. This month I’m representing how many days I focused on each in a chart. As you’ll see I’ve focused on a few goals on the same day.

January 2018

I’d like to continue having the positive changes to my mindset and attitude. Plus to help me continue how I’ve been completing my goals.

What I’ve planned in February:

Well, this month I have; an NVQ meeting, I’m volunteering, I’ve got myself down for a blood donation, starting my second tattoo, a family 50th weekend away and my MOT is due.

A packed month before I begin my work and goals on top of that.

See you at the end of February.



My number 2 Q1 goal is, to be honest with others. So far so good. I’ve been having honest conversations with Dave about how I feel. I’ve told one of my closes friends, G, I’ve been writing this blog. Which is also an outlet for my honesty.

Conversations, face-to-face, with people I something struggle with. I’m a lot better than when I was younger. I’ve lost friends, missed experiences and gone on many paths in my life so far. All because of conversations I have or haven’t had.

Since starting as a Community Care Worker, I feel my conversational confidence has increased. Interacting¬†and bringing my customers’ spirits up is what I do.

This may be the case but conversation is something I need to work on. I’ve started reading Life Changing Conversations by Sarah Rozenthuler. How the author writes has really drawn me in. I’m looking forward to being able to pick it up again. Thank you to my local library for making that possible.

What am I looking to get out of the book? > Seeing if I’m able to have those conversations that matter by learning strategies.


A Little Confidence

A couple of weeks ago I decided to start doing BSL videos of my own to help me with my learning. So that, when I’ve completed the course and my access goes I have something visual to look back at. Refresh my memory.

I had done the alphabet video. After completing I wrote about caring what others thought of me. Doing the video did bring out my lack of self-confidence and anxiety.

I’ve had another go.

I’ve taken the advantage of an empty home to complete all of the videos of the lessons I’ve done so far. I had fun doing them. Even thought of being more enthusiastic about sharing them.

But me being me, the perfectionist wants to do it the right way. I thought maybe to do a little BSL series for when I’ve completed all my own lessons. It’s something to think about.


Watched: Dark Signal > 1 out of 5