Goals, Life

‘Conflicting Emotions’

My mind and my heart run through conflicting emotions. I feel or think one thing one day, then the next it could be completely different. Sometimes it stays the same. I rarely fully understand what it is I want.

I’m going through life but not fully understanding. Does it mean I’m living to the fullest or not?

Hopefully by goals for Q4 of deep down journalling and getting shit done will allow that question to be answered.


Watched: Anon > 1 out of 5

Goals, Life

My Goal of Getting Shit Done

I feel worries that I’ll call back into the habit of not doing anything. Just watching telly all the time. That I’ll daily at Getting Shit Done.

This evening I got some shit done. Mileage! The bane of my life but if I want to claim back what I can be entitled to I need to but the evidence to the Government. When the cut off date for this year came I was no way meet completing. To the point I still haven’t.

Which also means I haven’t started this current years either. Mileage is just plain boring, but it’s something shit that I need to get done.

This evening I got back into it. I made check lists for last year’s claim and made a start. I checked one of the boxes off my list.

Then I took time to relax. I think that’s where I went wrong yesterday. My mind was still wired when I went to sleep and having to leg room to move made me frustrated. I did get to sleep but woke with my right arm numb, above my head. I must move about as I don’t go to sleep with my arm there.

With my worries, and my goal to Get Shit Done. I don’t want to be hard on myself or put myself down. What I did yesterday and this evening was great. I’ve done something to get closer to my end goal. Ultimately that is the aim of Getting Shit Done.

I should be proud of myself for that. No, wait! I am proud of myself for that. I am now going to read to help turn my mind off. Get myself to sleep easier tonight.

Life, Writing

Q3 Review 2018

It’s been a good no telly Tuesday. Productive. We bought insulation for the house and decided on the paints for all but 2 rooms.

It was the Q3 review call for the Holiday Council. To begin with I tried to do it while cooking and eating dinner. I was stop starting it and wasn’t getting much of the review done. Then my parents came home so I decided to try out my mum’s new home office.

Doing it this way I was more productive, I got my review done.


I feel like I’m not being me completely. I’m being lazy. I feel guilty for not doing things I feel I should have done. I feel I’m partially being the person I want to be for my family and friends.

In the last 3 months we’ve booked our wedding venue and photographer. We’ve bought a house and getting it renovated. I’ve started my BSL video series.

The thing I’m beginning to finally accept is that I’m overwhelming myself, then I don’t do anything but what telly. Then I start to comfort eat. I do start somethings but lose interest or motivation. No matter the time or money spent, I am being more deliberate with my yes and no when it comes to work.

I think I’m embodying easefulness more into the point of laziness. I’m not doing the things I need to do or have experiences. I’m not always present in the now. Fully enjoying myself.

What I’m craving is Getting Shit Done. Check lists or step by step of goals to achieve the big goals is my aim to help me achieve Getting Shit Done.


I started this evening after my review with the BSL video series. I’ve done more posts and I’ve been making a check list of what I need to do or come back to at a later date.

I like this idea so I’m gonna try this for my every day tasks and goals too. By doing this I hope that by the new quarter, which is in the New Year, that I’ll have done most of my back log of to-dos and courses I’ve signed up for.

Life, Writing

‘It’ll be worth it’

It’s been a busy and fun packed weekend. The house is coming along. The 3rd bedroom looks like a proper room. The bathroom now has a door frame. The main bedroom has a wall. We’re learning new skills.

R came to see the house for the 1st time. The in-laws came to see how it’s progressing and brought Dave nephew to visit.

Last night we went over to York Racecourse for the Beer and Cider Festival, for which we were invited to by L as her birthday activity. I don’t drink plus I was driving. So the drinking part wasn’t my thing. There was only 1 cart for soft drinks. Even so, it was a lovely evening.

I didn’t feel too good when I woke this morning, it was like I was hungover due to too much food rather than alcohol.¬†With working on the house it took my mind off it and I felt better. 2 more days and then the electrician starts. It’ll be at a standstill for us to be able to do anything. It’s coming together. It’ll soon be a month since we got the keys and we’ve come so far in that short time, it’ll be worth it.

Goals, Life

House: 2 weeks in

After putting my grandma in the bath; don’t worry the carers got her out. I went up to the house. I got the kitchen finished and started again in the 2nd bedroom, taking the wallpaper down. My step-dad and Dave meanwhile were collecting our order from B&Q. I got through one water container with the steamer. As I was working on the top half of the walls my arms where above my head. My neck and arms aches. I couldn’t think about filling the container up to carry on.

I helped my step-dad by taking his mess to the skip. After so many ups and downs on the stairs I was tired out. The dust isn’t helping my chest but boy am I out of fitness. There is currently a trial through the O2 app with nutrihealth. I’ve signed up to see if the different styles of work outs will help me stick with fitness.

My step-dad made a start on adding a door for the main bedroom by making a gap and putting the lindle in. Then the stood wall for the 3rd bedroom came down. We’re filling up the 3rd skip a little slower this time. It’s been 2 weeks since we got the keys. I’m impressed of how much we’ve got done. If it wasn’t for my family we wouldn’t have gotten so far on the budget we have. If it wasn’t for them I don’t think we’d have got the house.

Goals, Life

14/09

Going to YAS each month gives me the feeling I’m contributing in something to help the animals I see.

This trip, Blossom wasn’t thrilled about me going near her bed. Once I got out of her field, I had to wait until she’d gone to bed to allow me to get her food bowl. It’s like she’s hot a troubled mind and I don’t know how to rid her of her troubles.

The cockerel was being himself. Defending his territory, given at the time I was already leaving his area. I have to be on guard the whole time.

Lovely Delilah, at 2 years old, isn’t used to being handled. I was told this while she had been calmly in my arms for a few minutes.

This afternoon it was back to the house. B came to help me. We were taking wallpaper down in the kitchen. Thanks to B I nearly finished it. O only had 3 areas left then the steamer decided to cut out. Clearly it had had enough for the day.

The skip had been changed, the cellar emptied. The garden, slightly tidied some more. The living is ready for the plaster boards getting collected in the morning.