Health, Life, Mental Health, Writing

My Mental Health is a Major Part of Me

We’ve started doggie sitting for the in-laws. Well, this evening really. We’ve both been working during the day.

When I had finished, knowing I needed to get our bags before going to my in-laws, I was getting stressed. Trying to rush or having that rushed feeling within me, preventing myself from being calm. To enjoy my evening off with Dave and the dogs.

After sorting ourselves out and having dinner, we took the dogs for a walk. It made me feel like we should do this more often both with or without the dogs. Especially during good weather.

Spend more time outside. I want to be healthy, to travel and to make a difference in the world. I can’t do that if I’m sat inside watching telly all the time, can I?

Being outside will keep me fit. Not just physically but mentally too. My mental health is a major part of me. I am the one who needs to take action to maintain my wellbeing. No one can do it for me or help me without me helping myself first.

Goals, Life, Writing

Giddy Moment!!

Giddy Moment!!

After seeing the financial advisor and being told we’re in a position to get a mortgage. I’ve been doing a giddy dance.

We can start looking for houses.

Me being me can’t wait. I’ve started looking. We’ve found 4 maybes currently in the areas we’re looking for our price. One, unfortunately, is under offer. The other 3 we’re waiting for word back from the estate agents.

Dave’s dad has put me on a downer though. Apparently, he can’t get his head around how we can afford a mortgage.

Thankfully, I wasn’t there at the time of him and Dave talking. I’m slightly annoyed as well. Dave’s dad even suggested going to see a mortgage advisor. I’m gonna message Dave’s mum tomorrow to see about going around the evening before we go on holiday.

My new patient appointment went well. I even had a phone call from the doctor about my anti-depressant. At this new doctors, it can’t be put on repeat. Neither can my pill, so the nurse has booked me a review for that one.

I suppose it’s quite a good thing really. People can’t abuse medications and the doctors save money on medications that aren’t needed. Not all will think this way. But I agree with this doctors system.

At my old doctor’s, I could just get my repeats without talking to a doctor. It’s amazing how each NHS doctors are so different from one another. Even when in the same county.

Goals, Health, Life, Writing

Mortage: Appointment Due

Tomorrow we’re meeting the financial advisor. I’m excited but also scared that I’m not gonna hear what I wanna hear. Whatever he says, we have to accept. I’d rather know our position on whether we’re able to get a mortgage or not.

If not he’ll be able to give us pointers on how to get in the right position for one.

I’m off to the doctors tomorrow. It’s my new patient appointment. To register with this doctors I needed ID and proof of address. I don’t ever remember having to do that at previous doctors.

So far I’m impressed with the new doctors and I haven’t been yet. I registered 4 days ago. I already have one nurse appointment and a blood appointment all in the same week.

The reason for my blood appointment is I finally heard back from the blood test I had over a month ago. I heard by receiving another blood form for a retest. On the clinical notes, it says high potassium.

I’ve no clue what that means but apparently it can cause my twitching, tiredness, chest pains and heart palpitations. Let’s see what the new test shows this week.

It’s a busy week for us but at the end, we then have 9 days off and spending a week in Wales with friends. Cannot wait for it.


Family, Health, Life

We as a family will do this together

Family means the world to me. I’d do anything in a heartbeat for them. I was due to go to work after looking after my Grandma while my Grandad went to a funeral. However, that wasn’t the case.

I did look after my Grandma but my Grandad ended up going to hospital. After his dizzy spell the other night. It happened again today. Thankfully, he was at the doctors when it happened. They organised for him to go to the hospital.

Knowing this was gonna take time and my mum working away, I was the only one who could. I informed work I may have to give up two of my calls for the afternoon. They found a carer for the first call but not the second.

My Grandad was still waiting for his blood results. I was able to get a neighbour to help out, for me to do the call. On my way back, my Grandad was ready to go home. I picked him up. He needs a 24 hour heart monitor test but waiting for them to get in touch.

It wasn’t even tea time by the time I gave my final update with work. My grandparents didn’t want any more help. But work had covered 4 out of 6 of my morning calls for tomorrow without consulting me. I never asked for these to be covered.

I understand they need to have someone to all the customers but they could have waited longer. They would have still had enough time to cover them if I’d rung back at tea time to say otherwise. We work still 10 pm. There’s nothing I can do about it now.

My Grandad is OK for now. We’ve nothing to say otherwise. We’re doing what we can, when we can. We as a family will do this together.


Health, Life

Amber Weather + Neuro Appointment

Well, that amber weather warning alert is upon us again. This time I’m working. No hibernating for me. I’m proud of myself for driving in the horrible weather.

But a couple of near misses gave me a heart attack. My heart felt like it was gonna come out of my chest. My stomach in a knot.

I got through it. Home safe and sound. Getting myself rested and in the mindset to do it all again tomorrow.

I had my Neurology appointment for my twitching and pains. My end takes from it was he believes it’s down to my anxiety. I’m not convinced. I can’t do anything else really.

He gave me a blood form for some tests so will go for them when I’m able over the next couple of days. See if they show anything. Knowing my track record, everything will come back normal.

Something about me is ‘normal’.

Health, Life

Neurology Appointment

Before Christmas, I was referred to the Neurology department for my twitching and pains in my hands. I’ve now received my appointment date. Right now, I am glad. Today has been a bad day for the pain and not just in my hands. I’ve been experiencing them all over including my eye.

I say pain. I’ve experienced worse. It’s more of an ache. The only way I can describe it is at the end of a cold when your body is aching, it’s hard to do things. That’s how I’m feeling. I’m grateful my appointment has come through.

Depression, Health, Life, Mental Health, Writing

Film: Christine + Emotions

I wanna talk about emotions. I had a period of time where I felt low. I haven’t had a bad day. I’ve had a nice one.

What’s caused my low mood?

Watching the film Christine (2016). A career driven reporter in 1974, having frustrations at work while struggling with depression. Commits suicide live on air. Based on true events and with my understanding of mental health, the film really struck me.

Towards the end of 2017, I took a free emotion course by Dan Newby. Just an introductory one, no qualifications. To help me understand emotions more. I wrote notes, they’re in my look at me pile, laughing at me. 

At the time I took in a little. I didn’t fully understand it all. My low mood from this film has without realising until I looked at the notes that I’ve clicked on my understanding of the first model we were taught.

Phenomenon > Experience > Interpretation

I don’t know where directly this low mood came from. When watching the film, my interpretation of this experience has come from my understanding of mental health and my curiosity for true event stories.

This interpretation is how I see the world. My interpretation will be different to others. Neither of us is right or wrong. We’ve just had different interpretations from the same experience because we see the world differently.

We are all observers in the world. We see things differently. We experience different emotions, caused by the same phenomenon. So we should. That makes us who we are. It makes me who I am. It makes me;