Life

Week 3 Reflection: Progress

My aim to complete my three actions:

  1. Buy Paint for the Kitchen
  2. Walk the Dogs
  3. Research Inhabiting my Body

Good news is that I completed 1 of the actions. I’ve bought the paint for the kitchen; well the white undercoat.

Why didn’t I complete the other 2 steps?

Mainly because I watched telly instead. The thing I turn to in all occasions. Tomorrow is another day, plus no telly Tuesday. Beating myself up about not doing the 2 other steps isn’t going to help me get closer to them.

I went today to see the plasterer to tell him not to sand down the walls. The plug sockets are left to put on and I really hope he cleans up after himself. The in two weeks, after the holidays, the second plasterer is coming to fix the problem. I also believe we have a gas engineer on hand to come service the boiler once the radiators and the water pipes are linked up.

It’s a shame he’s unable to sort my parents’ boiler out. We’ve called his recommendation but it’s gonna be 48 hours before he can get here. It’s freezing outside and the boiler is broken. Fun times, don’t you think.

The second quote for the windows was given today. I didn’t feel at ease with this person. It was a better quote then last weeks one but the buy now, pay later is a smaller month span. So we’ve booked a second viewing with the first, as they’ve got a longer payment option. They’ve also kindly brought down the price by a few hundred. We’ll see how that goes in a couple days time.

Anyways, I’d better end here, I really should be getting to my grandparents. Good Night.


Watched: The Christmas Chronicles > 3.5 out of 5

Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy

HoCo Week 2 Call Thoughts

I believe I have my theme for 2019 and my ways of being. But I want to make 100% sure I’m ready before I publish them. Week 2 call asked new questions about what it is time for right now in our life and the different slices. Here are my thoughts from them:

I want to be me to the fullest. Be true to my dreams and heart. I bailed my time, my family, my loved ones, the experiences around me. I value my kindness and to the point process. I want others to treat me the way I want myself to be seen. I deserve respect and kindness back to me.

I want to feel calm, the senses of growing/learning about myself and the world around me. Seeing the different lives/ways of living that there is. Being streamlined to stop feeling overwhelmed, the frustration. Letting go of the shoulds and musts of getting this or that that done.

I’m craving the sun on my face, the wind in my hair, the rain on my skin, laughter and uninterrupted happiness. I want to believe in myself, my confidence, my skills and achievements. I want to feel comfortable in my own body and take away caring what others think of me.

When I looked at the different slices of life I came up with things I might want to work on in 2019. Such as; really connecting with Dave, moving into our house, starting my new job and figuring out where I want to go. A community with my blog and being comfortable in my body.

But why can’t I have what I want?

Because I’m currently in a state of overwhelm, frustration and losing myself.

Because I care what others thing of me and my actions. Making me feel I’m going over the top. Then there’s financial restraints and believing in myself and my confidence.

Because I have old beliefs such as I am unable to do what I want, not experienced enough, having the knowledge, that I’m not good enough. I should be doing what others expect of me.

The main part of the call that ultimately got me to my theme was my future visualisation. During this visualisation I felt at peace, a sense of calmness and that everything is in its tight place.

I was in my new home, pretty much complete. Knowing where everything was, with no clutter. I had a bright aura around me. I looked happy and healthy. Then I turned into a sunflower but could still see me. I was shining brightly. My future self gave me a silver infinity necklace.

With all that from week 2 call I feel I’m on the right path. I’m gonna do some more work on week 2 then I should know if I’ve chosen what feels right to me for my theme and ways of being.

Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy

Week 2 of HoCo Guest Interview Thoughts

Week 2 of HoCo is Dreaming and Scheming for the new year. The live call isn’t available to me until tomorrow but I’ve got access to the guest interviews.

From the 1st interview with Cora Harrington, I ended up writing 2 sides of A4 notes. Little snippets of what I took from Cora that related to me. Self-care was one of the things she spoke about.

Having the work-life balance in order to take care of herself. Having that as a maintenance lifestyle. With all that’s going on in my life lately, it’s something I need to get back on track with.

I have to allow for giving and taking. I am allowed to give my time to others and to work with all other life happenings. But I have to ensure that I take back time for myself. Disconnect from everyone and technology around me for wet times to allow myself me-time I deserve.

The world isn’t going to fall to pieces if I don’t respond right away or not tick off something from my task list. I don’t have to post on Facebook or check in daily. Ultimately my time is mine and it’s down to me on how I spent it.

As well as self-care, I need to express what I want out of life to those close to me. Have that close-knit circle of friends that I can talk to. They can help me better myself. They might say I can do better then what I’ve already done I have to take this as a compliment, they think I can rise up to the occasion. It’s a thank you moment. I shouldn’t be afraid to tell them about my drama. Those that shoot me down or want me to stay where I am to suit their conformable then I don’t need them in my life. I don’t have space for those who aren’t going to support and encourage me to live my dreams. I don’t need a big circle. They might be being realistic, which isn’t necessarily negative. They might see a structure I haven’t in order to get me to my dreams.

I also need to know what I’m good at and ask for help with the things I’m not good at. I can’t be amazing at everything. Someone else can do/ help with those things to get me there.

While listening to this first interview I turned my phone into silent to try work on one task at a time, to prevent distraction. I felt I did a lot better than last week and paused it twice. I felt I got more out of the interview. That’s also what I did with the second interview; only pausing once.


The second interview with Erin Falconer I liked because she spoke about getting shit done. With that being my quarterly goal, I felt more compelled to listen.

What am I guilty of doing?

Giving my focus to everyone and thing around me causing me to have self-indulgent and guilty behaviour. Doing things for others to be liked or because I feel guilty if I didn’t give them my time. Erin spoke of only having so much personal resource; cut this behaviour out and be and do with others as you’d want from them.

The other thing I took from the interview is what Erin said about our perception of things and how can plan for things in life. There are times where I take the things that come up in life negatively. It’s ME.

I’m the one who chooses to see the situation. I cannot control half of the things in life but I do get to chose what they mean to me. So why not choose the most helpful/positive view of the situation. See it as a gift, not the worse thing that’s happened to me.

I can review these feelings as for how my energy is feeling. I can do this in daily life too. I can ask myself what’s my energy like? Am I exhausted or is it intact?

Lately with how I’ve been seeing things I’ve become overwhelmed and exhausted causing my energy levels to drop. This isn’t a sustainable way of living. By doing this, checking-in, I can get a handle on what really matters to me. That way I can do more of the things that make me happy and less of everything else. Cause why else would I want to do it? If I don’t want to celebrate something; goal related or the big things in life, do I really want to do it?

The celebration helps to keep energy levels up or acknowledging the small things along the way. I will have to get comfortable with “bragging” about things. This week is about planning for the new year ahead. Can I plan if I don’t really fully understand who I am and where I want to go in life?

Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy

What would make 2019 meaningful?

When I think of 2019 being meaningful or magical I think moving into our new home would make it such a year. moving into our own home isn’t just a big commitment to each other it also symbolises freedom to me. Giving me the physical and mental space to allow me to explore who I am as a person without being under a parents roof.

That is now only months away. But that hasn’t stopped me trying to be the person I want to be. Working through The Holiday Council allows me to really think about what I’m doing and what I am doing to help me get there for the new year. There were some big changes this year and I know some a due in the new year. Being the strong person I know I can be, working on my self should be a walk in the park.


Watched: The Dark Knight > 2.5 out of 5

Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy

Week 1 of HoCo Nearly Complete

I’ve finished week 1 worksheets for HoCo. I wrapped up how I’m feeling for the slices in my life.

My highest score was a 7 out of 10. These were for: friendships and significant other.

Next for 6 out of 10 was for my career slice. 5 out of 10 was for my physical space, the pursuit of passion, finances and connect to self. I didn’t have any 4s. 3 out of 10 was for contribution/legacy and wellness. Then 2 out of 10 was for sex life. And 1 out of 10 was for spirituality.

I did have a zero which was for family/parenting. Seeing as we don’t have kids and they aren’t in the cards for 2019 I wrote: “not ready for children right now, maybe once we’re married and settled in our home”.

The last part of week 1 was to choose a photo that best represents 2018. I found this difficult as I don’t take many photos. I decided to choose the finished photo of my dragon tattoo that I had done this year. I choose this because I was feeling great for having had it done; an experience I wanted. But I was sore in that area for having it done. I feel it represents my year because I had some amazing experiences but I have had some periods of being in pain and times of emotion. The unrest and growth in one.

Over this week I am grateful to take my experiences and mental strength into 2019 with me. I am grateful to leave the frustration and anger behind in 2018.

I’ve just my ritual challenge, which was published to the blog yesterday, and the declutter challenge left of week 1. O and the last guest interview. I’ve asked my mum about helping me advertise the bike and I have gone through my file box on the first run.

There is 1 month left of 2018. After this week I feel 2018 has served me well even with the downs, it’s made me stronger to bring in the New Year.


Watched: Batman Begins (2012) > 2.5 out of 5

Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy

Releasing and Keeping 2018

I’ve had a final job offer and start in the new year. I handed in my notice so in 4 weeks I finish my current job, then have 10 days before my new job starts. I have 6 weeks of training then I’ll be starting on a full time rota in the ward I’m being placed.

I was so happy when I got the news I called all my parents to let them know. It’s definitely put me in a good mood.

Just before I got the offer I had sat down to start the first call for HoCo. I turned my phone on silent to try focus on the task at hand. I did mostly without looking at my phone but I did pause the recording to check. It’s a step, I suppose I need to work on that.

Week one is all about reviewing the past year, releasing and keeping. It’s helped me work towards my releasing challenge. What I’ve written to honour my strength I’m going to type up and have crossed out. All the keeping from 2018 is going to be bold.

Bought a house. Booked our wedding. No chocolate since 29th January. Deep journalling. New job offer. Group holiday. Solo trip to London for coach meeting. Completed NVQ and Life Coaching Level 2 Quals. Time spent with family; meals, weekend away. Dragon tattoo. Demi Lovato with E. Michael McIntyre with Dave. New friend: V. Moving to Ossett. Dave birthday tank driving. Over 100 followers on blog. Steps with B, her mum and my mum. Cirque du Soleil with my mum; OVO. Meadowhall Christmas Live with B. Cinderella with Dave. Time of work with Dave. Feeling like being more open with all and myself. Going to therapy; getting off anti-depressants. No social media. Spending time at YAS. Change of car. Dave and I moving in together. Trip to Aunty B.

Feeling inadequate for going to therapy and being on anti-depressants. Anus. Stomach. Getting myself to overwhelm points and putting too much on myself. Malcolm passing away. Grandma slowing deteriating and finding it hard to watch. Frustration and anger feelings. Procrastination on tasks causing myself to get into overwhelm state more so. Not taking care of myself; self-care and love. Focusing on others before myself. Unable to concentrate on one tasks at a time. Mind on over drive. Not being easeful, patient or gentle with myself. Not exploring a new level of intimacy or giving/recieving pleasure.

I’ve learned things about myself and how much I care about having experiences in life: with Dave, family and friends, then spending every day at work or spending it on rubbish. I feel more like myself by opening up to people and writing deeper. Being sent to enjoy my spare time. I now believe I can do something I put my mind to. When I truly want something or am passionate about it I’ll do it. It doesn’t feel like a chore.

I understand why I need to be myself and work towards figuring out myself as a whole.

As well as the releasing above we had prompts to see if there are other releasing; those that don’t serve me.

In 2019 I will let go of my belief that I am not enough and that everything cannot be done. That anxiety is what’s stopping me.

In 2019 I will release these harmful habits – mindset of frustration and anger. Self sabotaging myself and my mind. Putting others before my own needs.

In 2019 I will remember that every moment is there to be enjoyed that if I don’t enjoy what I’m doing that something needs to change.

In 2019 I will stop feeling frustrated, overwhelm and the anxiety bubble.

In 2019 I am leaving behind the above feelings and the belief I am not enough. That I cannot do new things.


I’ve a couple more sheets for week one to complete, a guest interview and the challenges. The good thing there is no deadline for HoCo. Yes it’s done within a 3 week period but we can go at our own pace. I feel I’m putting my all into it this year. I’m starting to feel like I want to work on myself and figure out who I am.

Life, Personal Development, Stratejoy

HoCo 2018 Begins

Today’s the start of The Holiday Council with Stratejoy. I’ve done it for the past two years and feel I could continue for as long as Molly keeps registration open. This year I am going to write my responses in my journal and any reflections from outside the workbook here too. I wanna try to get the full wack of my deep journalling as possible. In three weeks time this years theme word, JOY, will be replaced with my 2019 theme word.

Week 1 Connection Challenge:

2018 has been a year of growth and taking the theme of the year more seriously. Trying to fully incorporate it into my life. Having done this more often them my year of CHERISHing is what I’m most proud of. I’ve brought JOY into my life; I’ve gone on a group holiday with Dave and friends, I’ve visited family – near and far. I’ve been saying yes to new experiences and being with others. I’ve thought more about what I’m doing in my life that brings me JOY.

When using the word surprised for 2018, I’m not sure what comes up for me. Maybe it’s that I’m still not always true to myself and still hold back on what I want to do and say. I’ve come along way in my later 20’s. But I’ve still a way to go to be me entirely. I’d like to figure out how to get myself closer to me. Aiming to know who I am to live my 30’s to the fullest. I’ve just under 3 years to get there.


The 2nd and 3rd challenges I need to think about what and how I’m gonna do them.

The activation challenge – I need to figure out where my decluttering is gonna be. What is gonna have the most impact on creating a fresh new space for the new year?

Most of our belongings are in our bedroom at my parents or in Daves old room at his parents. Then our house just comes as it is. I can’t clean that until the plasterer has finished. Back to our bedroom at my parents’ house, it is. One thing in front of me is the exercise bike my grandparents gave me. I’m mainly using it as a clothes rack. I’ve used it a few times since April, but I’ve no desire to get on it in a hurry. Being sat around isn’t enough motivation for me to get on and exercise. I’d much rather get on the yoga mat, that is currently under the bed. It’s something that keeps coming to my mind. I think I’m gonna ask my grandad about it to see what he wants to do. That can be part of my activation; I feel once it’s in our house and in one of the spare rooms, it’s just gonna be sat there gathering dust. Our room does need a good tidy. Maybe I could do this as well?

The reflection challenge – What do I want to let go of and what do I want to keep from 2018? How am I going to portray this?


If anything new comes to me following this I think I’ll write it in a reflection. I should have prompts more often. I write a lot more and on a deeper level than just how my day went.