Early Mornings and Phone Update

Usually when I wake up early, at a reasonable time, before my alarm. I try to make myself go back to sleep. There are times I need to. There are times I do feel worse when my alarm goes off. There are times I lie awake, not having much luck getting back to sleep.

Getting frustrated with myself. In turn, effects my mood for the day. The odd occasion I stay up, do something I need to do. This morning was one of those. I was up an hour and 45 minutes before my alarm.

Putting myself first is something I neglect at times. Something I’m working on. I’m slowly getting better.

This morning I decided to do a bit more of my jigsaw puzzle. In that time I managed to complete it. Finishing a puzzle gives me a sense of achievement. Having this feeling has helped me start the day off right. Even towards the end of the day, work included.

Phone update:

Still waiting for the box to be able to send my phone to be sorted. Work has kindly offered me a temporary phone so I can still use my work app offline when I’m out and about.

But I’m unable to ring out to anybody still. Especially if there was an emergency, Think work might be interesting over the next few days.

I’ve now been able to talk to Dave through the Monster Messenger app. Basically Whatsapp for kids that parents control, to allow their kids to use it safely. It just happens to be the only thing on my tablet that will download, which we both have access to.

The joys of technology, eh!

Feeling Joy

Since the New Year, I’ve tried to get into the mindset of my theme; Joy. The past few days I’ve had the sense that I’m feeling Joy even when I’m not doing anything.

I’ve also noticed the ends of my lips are turned up more. Engaging my face muscles, I think is helping. When I relax my face I feel a change in how I feel. Smiling helps me feel better.

I believe I’m gonna enjoy 2018. Have a more positive outlook on things.

MCS: Part 3

Fear 1: Fear of failure, that I can’t do it and I’d revert back to being anxious/depressed

What wound(s) might be behind the fear?

  • Not feeling good enough
  • Starting things but giving up or withdrawing when things get hard (2x university withdrawals. 1: a course I didn’t want to pursue in the end. 2: Mental health flared up)

What does that wound need to heal?

  • To take small steps, build up confidence
  • When things get hard, find a way to make it easier and practice

Fear 2: Other people’s opinions and input into what I do

What wound(s) might be behind the fear?

  • Social anxiety
  • Mindset
  • People telling me I shouldn’t do that
  • People telling me I’m doing things wrong or don’t have the skills
  • Bullied at school for trying to be me which caused me to revert into myself

What does that wound need to heal?

  • Not allow other peoples thoughts and opinions affect me
  • Remind myself that I am enough
  • Remind myself that I can be the person I want to be
  • Remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind to

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. incorporate music into my life. To evoke that I could: 

  • Sort out all the music on my iPod that doesn’t resonate with me
  • Note down songs I love singing to download onto my iPod
  • Keep my speakers on when my alarm goes off
  • Use headphones when unable to use speakers

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. Being in and seeing the natural world. To evoke that I could:

  • Research travel destinations
  • Talk to friends and family to see where they would recommend going
  • Get travel books out of the library
  • Set up a travel fund
  • Go for a 30-minute walk no matter the weather each day
  • Open my blinds each morning
  • Do work/read/relax outside
  • Make a comfortable space by a window

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. Achieving or being apart of big dreams. To evoke that I could:

  • Look into life coach courses
  • When finding one. Do it!
  • Research life coaches
  • See if any books could help from library
  • Make small steps on how to achieve my own big dreams

How does my inner perfectionist operate?

  • Trying to do everything myself
  • Saying yes so can do them even when not something I want to do
  • Have to do things until its perfect
  • Saying not good enough or needs redoing causing myself to stress along the way
  • Having to be in control


MCS: Part 2

What are three things that would bring more excitement, curiosity into my life?

  1. Music incorporated into my life more
  2. Being in and seeing the natural world around me
  3. Achieving or being apart of big dreams

You’ll have to be real about why you aren’t already making these moves – Kate Courageous

Music incorporated into my life more:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Can’t use speakers when family are asleep
  • Don’t have the time to put music on
  • Always have other things on my mind

What do I need to do differently?

  • Schedule music into my life > have at least 10 minutes where I listen to music, plus maybe dance
  • Have iPod and headphones close by to be able to put on when family asleep
  • Have 5 minutes to relax and breathe to clear my mind to then put music on

Three ways my life will benefit?

  • I think I’ll relax
  • I think my mindset will change
  • I think I’ll get my love of music back

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might help someone come out of their shell
  • I might introduce someone to their favourite song
  • I might make someone laugh


Being in and seeing the natural world around me:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Never feel I have the time
  • Weather stopping me to courageous to go out
  • Don’t open blinds/curtains to let natural light in

What do I need to do differently?

  • Go out and so something in all weather
  • Wrap up accordingly
  • Take dogs for walks
  • Open blinds every morning. Only close when dark outside

Three ways your life will benefit?

  • I think I’ll get fitter
  • I think I’ll smile more
  • I think I’ll be more creative

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might be easygoing
  • I might encourage others to explore the outside world
  • I might teach others about the outside world


Achieving or being apart of big dreams:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Don’t have the knowledge, skills or experience in helping others achieve their goals
  • Haven’t been successful in achieving my own
  • I’m not good enough mindset

What I need to do differently?

  • Make small steps to plan how to achieve my goals
  • Look into doing life coach or mentoring course to gain knowledge
  • Get into the mindset that any step towards a dream is good enough for me

Three ways your life will benefit?

  • Achieve my goals
  • Getting to live my life the way I want it
  • Change of mindset

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might help someone be happy in their life
  • I might create more jobs
  • I might help someone relax



MCS: Part 1

It’s Most Courageous Self (MCS) month in The Your Courageous Year Planner by Kate Courageous. A free planner for subscribers to her site. Over the next 3 days, I’m going to share some of my responses to questions that I feel are apart of my journey.

If you woke up and your entire life went exactly the way that you wanted it to go, from morning until night. What would your day look like?

I would wake up with my iPod playing music that I love. Allowing me to sing along and have a dance. I’d wake up in my own bed, with my partner by my side, in our own home. I’d look forward to the day ahead to help as many as I can.

I’d have fruit, porridge and honey for breakfast. Sat on a window seat, looking outside, watching the dog run around. I’d then walk the dog, feed the foster small animals, shower, and get myself ready for the day ahead.

I’d start work focusing on one task or client at a time. Helping them achieve their goals, living their life just the way they want to, as independently as they can. I work to my own schedule, have an office in my home as my base.

I’d have a break in the afternoon, catching up with friends and family, go for a walk. I’d have a set time each day where I’d finish work. I’d make a homecooked meal if my partner is in, we do it together. Sitting down to eat, then walk the dog together as well.

I’d sit by the window with a good book, or snuggle up with a good film or a relax in the bath. All with candles around me/us.

I’d get into bed at the end of the day feeling a sense of achievement and satisfaction for helping another get closer to their dream.

What excites/delights me?

Being able to help others. Being able to run my own schedule. Being independent but still doing things with my partner. Having animals around me, helping them to live healthy between homes.

What makes you curious?

What it would be like to be self-employed. Have my own home with a seat in the window. I wonder what would happen if I trained to be a life coach.

Q1 Goals for 2018

I did it! I’ve completed The Holiday Council. I did it in 22 days. Woop! I’ve already done a post on my Theme, ways of being and my 3 Big Goals for 2018.

This has been, wow I can’t remember if it’s my second or third year, of The Holiday Council. Whichever it is, it’s been the best yet. I’ve been focused on it all. I’ve done but 1/2 a page within the workbook, as I’ve no idea what to write.

I’ve got that page open, see if I can think or people or things I need to……. over the next few days. The last page I completed in my workbook was my Q1 goals.

  1. Finish my NVQ
    1. This is a must. If I don’t finish it by April the funding runs out. Plus if I do get it done by February like my assessor says is highly likely. I can start looking for new jobs. To get a permanent, 1 place position.
  2. Being honest with others
    1. This is something I’ve ticked to what I avoid when doing some of my Overcoming workbook. If you read my post yesterday, you know I’m avoiding talking to Dave about how I feel about our relationship. I’m also one who says yes to things when I want to be saying no. My being deliberate falls here.

I’ve completed planning for 2018. I just need to do the work.

Have you any goals for 2018?

I’d love to hear them. Comment below, paste your link and I’ll pop over.