The End of Q2 Review

Wow, we are halfway through 2018. Time is going quickly. Whatever you do, make the most of your time.

The Past 6 Months 

I am on the road to being the woman I want to be. I do have selfish moments, where I become lazy and expect others to do things for me. I’m becoming calmer in myself but still, have those rush days. I’m taking more control of my life and experiences.

I have been incorporating my theme of the year, Joy, into my life more in this first half of the year. I have been having experiences, having time with loved ones and getting shit done.

But being with family has had its challenges. Family is what get each other through. We need to be there for one another, things have been changing rapidly. Seeing my grandma decline quickly has been the hardest part for me over the past 6 months.

The Next 6 Months

I am craving couple independence. Being deliberate and limitless with our home. Getting it right for us. I am craving calm. Being able to be comfortable with silences and having nothing planned. But I also wanna knock things off the to-do-list.

To make sure I am recommitted to my yearly theme of Joy; I need to choose what I want to focus on now. Then only focus on those as a priority. But also take time for me and as a couple.

I think the best way of doing this is to plan only part of my time. Things come up and cause me to rush and stress. I need to focus on one or two things and not try doing everything all at once. I need to continue with my monthly review, see what I am doing and if I’m still on the right track.

Blackboard Tasks

I feel the following are those I need to focus on in the next quarter:

  • CBT Course
  • BSL Blog Series
  • Loving my Body
  • Have my Hair done
  • Have a Home
  • Day Trips

Quarter 3 Goals

  1. Make Our Home Ours

Being in the process of buying our first home. I want this quarter to be focusing on making it ours. It needs a full gutting; a lot of work doing to it. I want this to be in support of having a welcoming home to come back to and have our couple independence.

I would like our home to be liveable by Christmas 2018.

2. BSL Blog Series Set Up

This is another goal on my dreams page. Setting this BSL series up is getting out of my comfort zone. Having videos of myself completing signs to hopefully teach others. I have 3 done so far. But as I have set up for the series to start next week I have some work to do.

I would like it all to be set up by the end of the quarter ready for it to be published through the next few quarters.

Past 6 Month Reviews

January 
February
March – End of Quarter 1
April
May

May 2018

Can someone please explain to me why the months are going by so fast? I’m still amazed that it’s another month gone. We are now starting the sixth month of 2018. Half of the year is nearly coming to an end.

May has been a very busy month for me. Thankfully, we did have a trip to Wales with friends. That was a wonderful week; it was much needed. May has also found us house hunting. We got to viewing number two and fell in love. We are currently week 3 in the process of buying it.

Fingers crossed the end of June will bring us having a date for the collection of keys or already having them.

Health wise I have been generally well in myself. I am getting off my anti-depressants. Only having them once or twice a week just to finish them off. I had my blood test re-done to find my Potassium levels are back to normal. This past week I have been more tired but I have been pushed at work. By the end of June and for July I’ll have an easier time of it.

My mum and I have had to start being more hands-on with caring for my Grandma as well. She has Dementia but it’s her physical abilities that are declining quickly. As my Grandad is caring for her 24/7 we are going in to sit with her and to provide morning care to give my Grandad a break. We are currently searching for a care company to be able to provide this support 7 days a week so everyone can have a break. Then we’ll go in and sit with her while my Grandad has time to himself.

This month also brought around my NVQ finishing. It has taken 11 months but I can finally say it is complete. I have also completed 2 out of 4 modules for my Life Coaching qualification.

I was also completing steps towards my goals; below you can see a chart to see how much of each I have done throughout May. Last night I was thinking that I am now actively doing pieces towards my goals that I feel writing each down in my diary and completing a chart at the end of the both isn’t as important to me any more.

Because of this, the chart below will be my last one. At the end of the day, I know when I have or haven’t completed steps towards my goals. I write about them regularly in my journaling, that I feel I am able to gauge how I am going towards the goals I am focusing on at the time.

Screenshot 2018-05-31 14.40.06.png

June is here.

What will it bring?

For me currently, the following is planned:

  • Looking after my Grandma
  • Survey for the house we are buying
  • Life Coaching Tutorial
  • Demi Lovato Concert with my friend E
  • Puppy Sitting for the in-laws
  • Final sitting for my tattoo
  • Micheal McIntyre Concert with Dave
  • Annual Leave
  • Dave’s Birthday
  • Steps Concert with B and our mums
  • Volunteering

That is a busy month of things to come. Of course, I have work around all that too. Work to me isn’t important enough to be included as that is just something I need to do.

There you have it. My month of May rounded up in a post. What did May bring for you?

Early Mornings and Phone Update

Usually when I wake up early, at a reasonable time, before my alarm. I try to make myself go back to sleep. There are times I need to. There are times I do feel worse when my alarm goes off. There are times I lie awake, not having much luck getting back to sleep.

Getting frustrated with myself. In turn, effects my mood for the day. The odd occasion I stay up, do something I need to do. This morning was one of those. I was up an hour and 45 minutes before my alarm.

Putting myself first is something I neglect at times. Something I’m working on. I’m slowly getting better.

This morning I decided to do a bit more of my jigsaw puzzle. In that time I managed to complete it. Finishing a puzzle gives me a sense of achievement. Having this feeling has helped me start the day off right. Even towards the end of the day, work included.


Phone update:

Still waiting for the box to be able to send my phone to be sorted. Work has kindly offered me a temporary phone so I can still use my work app offline when I’m out and about.

But I’m unable to ring out to anybody still. Especially if there was an emergency, Think work might be interesting over the next few days.

I’ve now been able to talk to Dave through the Monster Messenger app. Basically Whatsapp for kids that parents control, to allow their kids to use it safely. It just happens to be the only thing on my tablet that will download, which we both have access to.

The joys of technology, eh!

Feeling Joy

Since the New Year, I’ve tried to get into the mindset of my theme; Joy. The past few days I’ve had the sense that I’m feeling Joy even when I’m not doing anything.

I’ve also noticed the ends of my lips are turned up more. Engaging my face muscles, I think is helping. When I relax my face I feel a change in how I feel. Smiling helps me feel better.

I believe I’m gonna enjoy 2018. Have a more positive outlook on things.

MCS: Part 3

Fear 1: Fear of failure, that I can’t do it and I’d revert back to being anxious/depressed

What wound(s) might be behind the fear?

  • Not feeling good enough
  • Starting things but giving up or withdrawing when things get hard (2x university withdrawals. 1: a course I didn’t want to pursue in the end. 2: Mental health flared up)

What does that wound need to heal?

  • To take small steps, build up confidence
  • When things get hard, find a way to make it easier and practice

Fear 2: Other people’s opinions and input into what I do

What wound(s) might be behind the fear?

  • Social anxiety
  • Mindset
  • People telling me I shouldn’t do that
  • People telling me I’m doing things wrong or don’t have the skills
  • Bullied at school for trying to be me which caused me to revert into myself

What does that wound need to heal?

  • Not allow other peoples thoughts and opinions affect me
  • Remind myself that I am enough
  • Remind myself that I can be the person I want to be
  • Remind myself that I can do anything I set my mind to

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. incorporate music into my life. To evoke that I could: 

  • Sort out all the music on my iPod that doesn’t resonate with me
  • Note down songs I love singing to download onto my iPod
  • Keep my speakers on when my alarm goes off
  • Use headphones when unable to use speakers

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. Being in and seeing the natural world. To evoke that I could:

  • Research travel destinations
  • Talk to friends and family to see where they would recommend going
  • Get travel books out of the library
  • Set up a travel fund
  • Go for a 30-minute walk no matter the weather each day
  • Open my blinds each morning
  • Do work/read/relax outside
  • Make a comfortable space by a window

My Most Courageous Self wants to.. Achieving or being apart of big dreams. To evoke that I could:

  • Look into life coach courses
  • When finding one. Do it!
  • Research life coaches
  • See if any books could help from library
  • Make small steps on how to achieve my own big dreams

How does my inner perfectionist operate?

  • Trying to do everything myself
  • Saying yes so can do them even when not something I want to do
  • Have to do things until its perfect
  • Saying not good enough or needs redoing causing myself to stress along the way
  • Having to be in control

 

MCS: Part 2

What are three things that would bring more excitement, curiosity into my life?

  1. Music incorporated into my life more
  2. Being in and seeing the natural world around me
  3. Achieving or being apart of big dreams

You’ll have to be real about why you aren’t already making these moves – Kate Courageous

Music incorporated into my life more:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Can’t use speakers when family are asleep
  • Don’t have the time to put music on
  • Always have other things on my mind

What do I need to do differently?

  • Schedule music into my life > have at least 10 minutes where I listen to music, plus maybe dance
  • Have iPod and headphones close by to be able to put on when family asleep
  • Have 5 minutes to relax and breathe to clear my mind to then put music on

Three ways my life will benefit?

  • I think I’ll relax
  • I think my mindset will change
  • I think I’ll get my love of music back

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might help someone come out of their shell
  • I might introduce someone to their favourite song
  • I might make someone laugh

 

Being in and seeing the natural world around me:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Never feel I have the time
  • Weather stopping me to courageous to go out
  • Don’t open blinds/curtains to let natural light in

What do I need to do differently?

  • Go out and so something in all weather
  • Wrap up accordingly
  • Take dogs for walks
  • Open blinds every morning. Only close when dark outside

Three ways your life will benefit?

  • I think I’ll get fitter
  • I think I’ll smile more
  • I think I’ll be more creative

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might be easygoing
  • I might encourage others to explore the outside world
  • I might teach others about the outside world

 

Achieving or being apart of big dreams:

Why I’m not already doing that?

  • Don’t have the knowledge, skills or experience in helping others achieve their goals
  • Haven’t been successful in achieving my own
  • I’m not good enough mindset

What I need to do differently?

  • Make small steps to plan how to achieve my goals
  • Look into doing life coach or mentoring course to gain knowledge
  • Get into the mindset that any step towards a dream is good enough for me

Three ways your life will benefit?

  • Achieve my goals
  • Getting to live my life the way I want it
  • Change of mindset

Three ways you’ll benefit others?

  • I might help someone be happy in their life
  • I might create more jobs
  • I might help someone relax

 

 

MCS: Part 1

It’s Most Courageous Self (MCS) month in The Your Courageous Year Planner by Kate Courageous. A free planner for subscribers to her site. Over the next 3 days, I’m going to share some of my responses to questions that I feel are apart of my journey.


If you woke up and your entire life went exactly the way that you wanted it to go, from morning until night. What would your day look like?

I would wake up with my iPod playing music that I love. Allowing me to sing along and have a dance. I’d wake up in my own bed, with my partner by my side, in our own home. I’d look forward to the day ahead to help as many as I can.

I’d have fruit, porridge and honey for breakfast. Sat on a window seat, looking outside, watching the dog run around. I’d then walk the dog, feed the foster small animals, shower, and get myself ready for the day ahead.

I’d start work focusing on one task or client at a time. Helping them achieve their goals, living their life just the way they want to, as independently as they can. I work to my own schedule, have an office in my home as my base.

I’d have a break in the afternoon, catching up with friends and family, go for a walk. I’d have a set time each day where I’d finish work. I’d make a homecooked meal if my partner is in, we do it together. Sitting down to eat, then walk the dog together as well.

I’d sit by the window with a good book, or snuggle up with a good film or a relax in the bath. All with candles around me/us.

I’d get into bed at the end of the day feeling a sense of achievement and satisfaction for helping another get closer to their dream.


What excites/delights me?

Being able to help others. Being able to run my own schedule. Being independent but still doing things with my partner. Having animals around me, helping them to live healthy between homes.

What makes you curious?

What it would be like to be self-employed. Have my own home with a seat in the window. I wonder what would happen if I trained to be a life coach.