Life, Mental Health, Writing

Fierce Self-Love: Part 2

To be able to love my body completely, I need to learn to love myself fully. To do this I need to know what I love about myself. I’ve grown up very much a people pleaser. Forgoing my own self-love majority of the time.

Up until my mental health decline, I never even thought about self-love as a thing that needed to happen. Now that I know otherwise and I’m less of a people pleaser; I’m now not doing everything for others above myself.

I now realise I’ve got to look after myself and my needs, in order to help others. Even with this realisation, I don’t or haven’t looked within myself of the things I love about myself.

Having a pause to think about this;

I do love that I have the capacity to help others.

I love the motivation to better my mental health.

I love that I’m determined to make something of my life, to find my purpose.

I love the kind heart, the logical and creativity of my brain.

Life, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Writing

Do you have feelings of uncertainty?

I’ve come to a decision regarding the CBT course I bought for £40 last November. Lately, it hasn’t been a task of joy for me. I’m not 100% sure it was in the first place. But I started it.

To live my life authentically, I thought that the things I do in my life should be meaningful and I’m to enjoy them. I’m afraid if I continue doing this course I wouldn’t enjoy it. I wouldn’t be trusting my feelings.

So I’ve come to the decision to cut ties with this course. I have certainty about that. But I feel uncertainty about the purpose of my life and my career. I don’t know where it’s come from or why I’m feeling this way But I have that uncertainty mixed feelings in parts of my day.

This feeling of uncertainty isn’t a nice one. A part of me wishes I could click my fingers and it would go away. All my problems, lack of purpose and dreams would be gone and complete.

But I wouldn’t be living life, feeling those emotions or being realistic. I believe I need to be more mindful of when I feel this way and note down the what, when, where and the whys. They might help me to figure out how I get to certainty in my life and career.

Watched: The Chronicles of Riddick > 3 out of 5

Life, Mental Health, Writing

How Much is Your Mental Health Worth?

One of my priority tasks for this quarter that I set myself was to complete my CBT course. I believe I paid around £40; I got it on a discount.

Last week I did look at it. Instead of reading the modules, I started completing some of the end of module tests. I believe, if I remember correctly I did around 5 of them, passing mostly on the second attempt.

They are multiple choice questions and I can do them as many times till I’ve passed. But my heart isn’t in it. It wasn’t at the time of completing the tests last week either. I’m unsure if I want to do anything further with it. I haven’t a need to fuel me forwards with it. I have until this November.

Today, I did some of my UCP course that I’ve paid a good £1600 towards. This I have lifetime access to, I suppose for as long as the coach allows it to be available. I feel more of a motivation to do this course. And possibility down the line others I have access to.

Whether I become a life coach or not, it’s helping me understand my thoughts and the world’s thoughts around me. It’s an improvement on myself and my own mental health, which is a great investment. I’m now on month 3 of 6. It’s been a few good months since I last went onto the course.

My mental health is worth any investment I am fuelled to do. If I feel good about it and the task at hand resonates with me, then I’m going to give it my best.

Writing is another way I’ve found and fallen in love with. I’ve received the Happy Anniversary 1 year achievement on WordPress. I have written for a whole year, every day apart from about 3 days. As of writing this in one year I’ve had 1411 visitors, 2150 views and I’ve written 393 pots.

Even though I missed a couple of days, I’ve written more post then days since July 2017.

Guess what?

I feel so much better now then I did then!

Writing has been a major factor in that. I’d like to say a big thank you to all visitors to my blog. I’m not one for daily statistics or publishing my blog. It’s all natural flow through WordPress and I guess beyond sometimes. I don’t have social media, so you get here somehow.

I thank you for taking your time to read, like, comment and share. I hope this next year in writing helps even more ❤

Books, Life, Mental Health, Writing

Let the Positive Thoughts Flow

My little niece turned one today. I can’t believe it been a full year already. Time certainly does fly.

Life played by itself through today.

I have been working on my positive thoughts. Negative ones did spiral their way in but I’ve been pushing them to one side. Making the positive ones flow.

So far from The Secret by Rhonda Bryne, the thoughts we have are what makes us. The Law of Attraction and Like Attracts Like. So thinking positively to help bring the positive to me.

Ridding the negative to prevent the negative events happening to me. It doesn’t matter the area of life, it’ll come to whichever area that is being focused on. It’ll come no matter the why just as long as positive thoughts are thrown into the Universe.

Life, Mental Health, Writing

Negative Mindset

I’m in a low mood. This evening my parents asked if we’d looked at other houses as being 6 weeks in and haven’t heard from the vendor. Who is obviously dragging their heals for some reason?

They were showing us other properties but I have the current one where my heart is set. Dave is up for looking at other properties but I’m not.

Just my parents saying that has spiralled my mindset to the negative. I’m going to ring the estate agents to see where they are in getting a response from a week ago. I’m hoping that it’s positive news. More so seeing as it’s my birthday soon.

Life, Stratejoy, Writing

Do you take responsibility?

The past is the past. That can’t be changed. But I can change my story for my future self. Recognise my feelings and go with them.

I’m guilty.

I’m guilty of not taking responsibility for my choices and actions. I’m guilty of passing on the blame. I’m guilty of being the reason why friendships have broken down. I’m guilty of missing out on opportunities. I’m guilty of allowing negative thoughts to creep into my life.

I shouldn’t be guilty of these things but I am. I made these choices for whatever the reason at the time. They are done. The consequences took.

Taking responsibility is about the privilege to take ownership of the choices and actions I make each and every day.

I need to take responsibility for my health. Respect and listen to my body. Give it the self-care it deserves. Give my body sensual and sexual desires it wants.

I need to take responsibility to make my life more pleasurable. Give things importance. Define the freedom in my life. Building the courage to know I’m capable to handle what life throws at me. To take risks; big and small. Have those conversations that are needed.

I need to step out of my comfort zone. Do those scary goals. Don’t judge things on success or failure. The failure allows me to grow.

I need to figure out how to get out of the lows in life. Not staying there expecting others to get me out.

I need to voice opinions and find the answers. Live life through my lens.

I don’t need to be perfect.

I need to face feelings head-on. The good, the bad and the ugly. That’s how I’ll get out of the dips. All of them. Even the hard ones.

Everywhere, with everyone, lessons can be learnt. I need to teach myself. I don’t have to understand.

I’m not to give away my power!

I don’t have to choose sides. I can be selfish and selfless. I can be brave and afraid. I can be badass and super sensitive.

The judgements have got to stop. Those on others and on myself. People judge on me too.  Tocix is no good in life. Let the judgement go.

Embrace curiosity to lead to kindness. Amit my mistakes, no matter how hard. Speak up when my mind changes. Set boundaries for myself and others.

It can be ok to depend on others. It can be worth it to build a healthy relationship. They take time. Work on it!

I don’t need to understand. Everything doesn’t need to have a rational explanation.

I know how to come back to myself. I write to know how to begin again.

Enough is for everyone.

Everything matters; whether money, opinions, purpose, creativity.

Refused to allow others to be mistreated.

How we live out lives is how we care for the world.