My Not-So-Perfect Post

Life ain’t perfect. Life will never be perfect. Not everyone sees life this way. For some perfection is what they need to strive for.

I was one of those people. I had to be the best at everything I did. I had to say yes to everything. I had to please everyone. No matter what I felt.

Where did this lead me?

Clearly, not into any good places, at times. The reason I followed paths in my life where wrong. At the time I didn’t see this. I thought it was where I was supposed to be.

But just because you may think you’re supposed to be somewhere, mean that you actually should be?

There is more to life than being perfect. More to life than pleasing others. More to life than doing everything that crosses your path. What’s the reason you do something? Is it because you love it? Because it is going to help you

What’s the reason you do something?

Is it because you love it?

Because it is going to help you achieve your dream?

Because it’s going to make you the person you want to become?

There are still times I think this or that has to be perfect. But the word perfect doesn’t rule me anymore.

It shouldn’t you either!

Make sure you do the things in your life for you. Know the people who help you be the person you want to be.

I’ve still got a lot to achieve in my not-so-perfect life. But as my tattoo says: I Am Enough.

So are you! 


The inspiration for this post. The book I got given for my birthday. My not so Perfect Life by Sophie Kinsella. I really enjoyed it.

Today I had three sittings of reading it. As I had started reading it before today, I was on page 100 or thereabouts. To finish, the rest of the 431 paged book in a day felt great.

I worked on my goal of reducing telly. No telly days. Well, today was one of those days. I got to get into a pass time I have put to one side and enjoy immensely.

It has put me in a positive mind frame. I have helped a friend through a terrible day.

To top it off my auntie-in-law is off the breathing ventilator and has been reunited with her baby in the maternity ward. Hopefully, both will be out by the end of the week.

Hows your not so perfect life?

A Little Bit of Magic

I feel like the fog has lifted. It’s not 100% gone. I have a lack of motivation and interest though. But the fog dispersing is a start. Here’s hoping my minds going in the right direction.

I agreed to be back up runner at work for this weekend. 1/2 a day today, and a full one tomorrow. Today has gone well. Did one extra call out, to a customer I knew, which helped. Will have to see what tomorrow brings.

I finished Elizabeth Gilbert’s book Big Magic today. It’s one I’m gonna have to read again. I enjoyed it. But there were times where my mind wasn’t 100%. So, I didn’t take it all in. I’m gonna read a different book or two, then come back to it. See if I add any more page markers to it.

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What is Life Teaching You?

“Take an honest inventory of the education you already have – the years you have lived, the trials you have endured, the skills you have learned along the way”

“If you are a young person, open your eyes wide and let the world educate you to the fullest extent”

by Elizabeth Gilbert

I don’t remember much of my childhood. I have some home videos that were made during this time. Watching them, I know I’m watching myself, either on my own or with family members.

But I don’t remember these events happening. I suppose the videos put something in my mind about how I was brought up. If it wasn’t for these videos, I wouldn’t even know about the start of my life.

Memories are strange things. What inside our brains decided which memories to remember or to forget? Where do they go the ones we’ve forgotten?

In 2013 I started scrapbooking. Both for photos and mementoes. At first, I needed to collect everything I did and place something in one of these books. Now I want to keep the important memories. I keep tickets, old cards, letters. I buy a post card when visiting somewhere new. This postcard can represent the whole day. Rather than buying stuff just for the sake of doing so.

Now I want to keep the important memories. I keep tickets, old cards, letters. I buy a post card when visiting somewhere new. This postcard can represent the whole day. Rather than buying stuff just for the sake of doing so.

Least my home doesn’t get cluttered. Neither do my memories.

The earliest memory that I do remember, is me playing in the back garden at one of my old houses. Going in because of the rain. The next morning realising that I’d left a school book outside.

I guess that sticks in my mind for the fact I need to take responsibility for the things I own/borrow.

Going through school wasn’t very entertaining. I got through it just like everyone else. I had people bullying me due to the fact I was thin or that most of my friends were guys. Still are to this day.

I overcame stage fright, dancing. My confidence has always been low, socially. I put my head down and got on with the work. Found I was good at IT. Enjoyed reading.

By the time you’re supposed to know what you want to do with your life. I didn’t. I was good at things so they were the subjects I continued to learn. As staying in education was what I thought I had to do.

From this, even though I love to learn, I couldn’t stick to learning in an education setting. I’ve a ton of qualifications. Most I don’t even use anymore or remember what I learnt.

I worked alongside education. I’ve been a pizza takeaway assistant, a play centre assistant, a bakery assistant, a leisure assistant, a stockroom assistant, a kennel assistant, a trainee veterinary nurse, a care assistant. I’ve volunteered at a couple of animal charities along the way too.

An assistant is something I seem to be drawn too. From each of my roles, I’ve learned what I do or don’t like, or want to help in some way. I just can’t do it in certain ways.

My mums’ ex-husbands have taught me what I don’t want from a guy. Even her current husband, still teaches me I don’t want hostility in the house.

It doesn’t matter how old or young you are. Life teaches us things all the time. Nothing is likely to change that. What we learn, teaches us about ourselves, how we want to behave, what we want to do. How and if we share this with others.

Elizabeth Gilbert so far has taught me that writing is for yourself. Be the creativity you want to be. That’s what makes your work original and authentic. Everyone may have an opinion, may pigeonhole your work. But what others do with or say about your work once you’ve shared it can’t be controlled by yourself.

But what others do with or say about your work once you’ve shared it can’t be controlled by yourself. It shouldn’t be.

How your work/creativity works for yourself is the most important thing.

A Recharge

Six wonderful days off work coming to an end. Regardless of my foggy mind and negativity; it’s been good to have a recharge.

After a quiet conversation day. Finishing season 1 of Untold Stories of the ER. Please, Netflix put another on. A walk around the village and a DC deck building care game. Woo, I won. I came home and got myself somewhat back into work mode.

iPod on the speakers, raspberry candle lit, sort out of my room, organised myself for work. Once that was done, I did some of my mileage. O boy, have I been neglecting the mileage. I did a week’s worth this evening.

Realising I’m under two months behind! How bad is that?

I don’t wanna say it’s only my mileage. Thank god it’s not my washing. But I need to get out of leaving things and procrastinating rather than actually getting some thing done.

Not just my mileage, but my goals. The ones I set for myself, my relaxation module I was given by my therapist and looking after myself. Mentally and physically. Which are my two goals of quarter 3 of the year.

As I’m not quite tired yet. I’m gonna have a hug with a fluffy pup and then read. As reading is something else I’ve been neglecting.