It’s rare when we get a whole 48 hours together. Dave works every Saturday, me every other weekend. We don’t get a whole weekend together without booking it off. When I am off on a weekend, I’m spending apart of my day figuring out what I wanna do.
There are times I love having the time to myself. Others I feel its an inconvenience.
Our first 48 hours off together in 2018. It’s been a blessing. I’ve felt more relaxed by our relationship and with the whole time together. Each day we had an event to go to. I usually stress over these too.
But I’ve had fun. Even with the adulting as well. Tomorrow is another day of family celebration. Feeling positive about #joy2018.
Watched: Pitch Perfect 3 > 3 out of 5
When I said I spoke to Dave about how I felt the other day. Did I tell you I did it over text? I know, probably not the best way to break news about your relationship feelings. He did ask me if I was annoyed at him via text I didn’t wanna lie.
Still, no excuse not to do it face to face.
On our walk today we or should I say I started to talk about it face to face. It was just us. No phones. Just talking.
Both got to fully understand how I feel. He was able to tell me if he’d like any changes. He just agreed with what I’d already said I needed to work on. I will admit, it’s not just Dave that needs to improve. I need to work on my letting go of control and spending less.
It all takes times. That’s something else I need to work on.
The second decision my other half has made is to start looking for wedding venues etc. This is what I’d like but we can’t afford a mortgage right now. I don’t want to be setting my heart on wedding ideas that may or may not be available for when we are able to afford to get married.
I know I said I was irritated and bored with our relationship and that he needs to get his drive and initiative into gear. I kinda meant on a personal level to help the relationship, not big leaps. I’ll have to see what a conversation face to face will do.
This evening he has been giving ideas on things to do, activities can go do. All well and good. I’m glad he’s making a decision but we still need to drop off Christmas Presents!! And in a few hours, it’s the New Year.
But here’s me writing, moaning about him doing something. He’s not a mind reader. He doesn’t know what I want. He’s had the majority of things done for him. He’s not had to think about certain responsibilities or those little things that need doing.
Certainly going to be working on my letting go of control and no micromanaging for a while relationship wise.
I’ve said something to Dave. Afer my relationship rant a couple of nights ago. Avoidance. I have been open about my feelings. It’s funny he can tell I’m annoyed, irritable or any other word you wanna use over text message but not face to face.
Maybe I’m a good actress after all.
He knows I’m irritable and bored with our relationship. Told him the reasons why I felt this way. He said “Fair enough, I’ll work on that”.
It’s not the first time I’ve said something to him. Back in July, when I was going through a particularly bad patch of anxiety and depression. Before I went on my medication. I spoke to him about not feeling connected etc.
That has improved but because of how I’ve come to feel, that connection has reduced again. I don’t wanna keep going around in circles.
I’ve told a couple of my friends about how I’m feeling. One of which I’m meeting up with for lunch in a couple of days. It’ll be interesting what she has to say face to face. Being able to tell all the details. Well, at least my side of things.
The other half hasn’t been forthcoming about his feelings. Even though, I’ve just received a message about the first sort out of 2018 is gonna be to see if can get a mortgage.
Might be an idea to sort out our relationship first. But hey ho, see what happens.
Worried he loves me more then I love him. Irritable and bored with our relationship. I’m home after spending the day together. We didn’t have a proper conversation. There are times I feel like it’s a parent/child relationship rather than adults.
I thought in the car home that he needs drive and initiative. Kicked up the arse – he needs to step up. Be the guy in the relationship. Make a decision. Do something without me having to prompt him.
Feeling like it’s not gonna last. I know I need to speak to him. But it’s not the first time I’ve had to say something.
What a lovely week off. It’s been nice to get away from work. I’ve been taking a break from my goals. No chocolate is the only one really done for some of it.
Seeing family and friends. Having trips out with Dave has been lovely. We’ve made homemade meals and spent the majority of the time together.
Seeing as we don’t live together yet. I had to come home tonight. It was sad leaving him. Going back to 5-7 days where we won’t see each other. I found it hard to leave. I’ve felt loneliness even since I got in the car. The thought of going back to work tomorrow is slightly sickening.
Once I’m back into it I’ll get used to it again. These 9 days together have been amazing. It’s made me know that I definitely want to move in with him. Save. Save. Save. The only way it’s gonna happen.
3 years together. It seems longer but at the same time I can’t it’s been this long. If you’ve been with me from the start, you may know I was having loss of connections in my life. Including with Dave.
Our connection being a major part of how I was seeing our relationship. Communication and honesty has been a great thing in my life and our relationship. We’re stronger and I open up about everything with him.
I believe he’s started to open up with me as well. There are times when I feel he’s holding something back. It maybe just me being paranoid. He hasn’t been one to express emotion in the past so anything is great for him.
We’ve had a lovely anniversary. We’ve been doggie sitting so we walked them, got muddy and had to bath them. We spent time in front of the telly. Been watching my guilty pleasure, I’m a celebrity.
We then watched a James Bond film. A confession: before this year I had only watched Daniel Craig 007. Well, 2017 has brought them to me. Today, we watched number 11: Moonraker. I’m getting half way through.
I feel this needs to be on my goal list. To watch all Bond films. I’m sure there are many other films I haven’t watched before either.
Are there any films you think I should watch? Old or new?
If I haven’t see it I’ll put it on my goal list.
Anyway, back to the post. I couldn’t be without Dave. He’s such a chilled, kind, amazing guy. He’s supportive and would try to do anything for me. I love him. Bring on another year together 😘