External Validation

Can I truly be myself if I keep looking for external validation?

I can’t control other people’s thoughts. I can’t control outcomes. I won’t experience success or failure until it’s upon me. There are some things that are beyond my control.

Why try to manipulate my brain power, if I can’t control what I can’t control?

Surely, I’ll get tired faster, leading towards failure.

If I try to control, how am I being present in the now?

Other people’s thoughts are their own. Thoughts are just thoughts. They come and go. Other people’s perspectives are different to my own. We may look at the same piece of art and see and feel different things. We may watch the same film, at the same time, in the same screen. You may have an insight. I may not. It was just an alright film to me.

How can I become attached to other people’s expectations, reactions or values when they’re not mine?

To be myself and to act in accordance with my values; I need to release other people’s validations. I am the one that is happy doing what I love. I’m the one experiencing the emotions, completing the actions. I’m the only one who can be me.

#3 Release others values, expectations and reactions – Molly Mahar



Where do I feel peaceful, strong, able to affect change?

Journalling. Checking with goals.

Where do I feel silenced, weal or disregarded?

Office. Body Love. Future Career. Confidence. Money. Authority Figure.

What is one action I can take to reclaim my power? To reclaim ownership of my life?

A hard one maybe: but to stop thinking, overthinking, letting my thoughts be ruled by my thinking.

I know it says one but I want another: I want to LISTEN. To really listen. Listen with feeling as well as hearing the words.


Ritual, Body Love and Purpose

How do I already connect with myself?

Candles. Doggy cuddles. Journalling. Walking. Music. Reading.

How am I craving connection with myself?

Breathing. Exercise. Dancing. Singing. Set intentions. Body Love.

How do I already connect with my loved ones?

Conversations. Family meals. Group get-togethers.

What am I craving with my loved ones?


How do I already connect with my higher power?


How am I craving connection with my higher power?

Self-love. Self-care.

How am I loving, kind or respectful to my body?

Fruit. 3 meals a day. Paint nails. Walking. Sleep. Wear whats comfortable. Haircuts.

How am I mean, toxic or ignorant to/of my body? 

Junk food. Not hydrating enough. snacking. Lack of exercise. Not slowing down.

What are 3 small ways I could start listening to my body’s needs now?

Meditating. Have a good amount of water. Exercise.

What gifts do I bring to this world?

Organisation. Creativity.

How do I show up in all slices of life?

Emotional. Joy. Ambitious.

What would I like my life to be an example of?

Helping others evolve, feel free, and experience joy.

How do I honour my purpose?

Being a carer. Self-discovery.

Watched: Robocop > 3 out of 5


What roles in life do I claim?

I’m a … fiance, daughter, dog mum, volunteer, carer, girlfriend, blogger

In 4 roles … How are you expected to act? What are you expected to want?

Fiance: loving, equal, partnership. conversation. sex. lovey-dovey. togetherness 24/7

Daughter: kindness. friendship. safe space.

Dog mum: responsible. knowledgeable. walks. cuddles.

Carer: in control. responsible. kind. compassionate. over-achiever. nothing in return. independence.

What do I claim to be my truth?

Adventure. Simplicity. Kindness. Friendship. Love. Cuddles. Creative Soul. Honesty.

Watched: Table 19 > 5 out of 5

My Theme for 2018

After 2 weeks of the Holiday Council, I’ve come up with my theme and ways of being for 2018. Below are my theme and ways of being with their meanings for me. Then I’ve added my vision board for the year based on these:



“Alive and present, no matter the circumstances”

Ways of Being:

Be Calm: “Creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity” – Brene Brown

Be Deliberate: “Be ruthless with my yes and no”

Be Lively: “Energy, lighthearted, optimistic, funloving, be full of life”

Be Limitless: “Believe and act upon my dreams, freedom and possibilities”

Be Love: “Be love. Give love. Receive love”

Winter Destinations.jpg

Bring on the new year!

Dreaming for 2018

2018 is practically around the corner. I’m looking at week 2 of The Holiday Council 2017. The week where dreams of a magical new year get made. I find scheming for 2018 harder then I did reflecting 2017.

I believe it’s partly the unknown and that I don’t fully understand who I am and what I want out of life. I have an idea. I must do. I have a list of goals.

My current list is called Goals and Ground Rules. But I feel it needs to change.

I think I wanna change it to My Dreams page.

Here you see a list of all my goals and dreams. Like a bucket list and a to-do list in one. Today I added a new goal:

Go to see Colbie Caillat in Concert

I love her music. I’ve not known her to tour the UK so it may call for a holiday. May get a 2 in 1 on my goals.

Think I got off track there, I can do that, Side-Tracked should be my middle name. I wouldn’t have to change my initial.

I was saying I found scheming and dreaming for 2018 hard. I worked through the training call and kept getting frustrated. My mind going blank. It may be hard but I’ll get it done.

I’ve taken a break from it for the day. I’ll come back after I’ve had a rest. The perfectionist in me wants to make 2018 amazing and have no mess ups. Life won’t be life without mess ups.

I’ve been reading The Gift of Imperfections by Brene Brown. I love her definition of Calm:

Creating perspective and mindfulness while managing emotional reactivity

As soon as I read this I felt like it’s putting its hand up to be ‘a way of being’ for 2018 for me. Let’s see what the end of week 2 brings.

Are you dreaming and scheming for 2018?

Reflection, Releasing and Keeping of 2017

What part of 2017 are you most proud of?

I’m proud of acknowledging that I have mental health issues. Going to the doctors and referring myself to the counsellor. This state of unrest was dragging me down in all parts of my life. Physically and mentally.

The past few months have made me look into myself and my life moving towards destruction. I’m starting to tear everything down in my life. Looking to see if it’s what I believe I want and what to stand for.

I believe I still have more to do before I can say I’m moving onto growth but I’ learning as I’m destructing.

What part of 2017 surprised you the most?

I believe for me this year I have two things.

1: My love for writing. How it’s been helping me and that I like sharing it with others. Building a community online isn’t something I’d thought about before.

2: Removing social media that is something I’d never leave from but glad I have. It’s like I’ve been liberated. Have that sense of freedom. That it doesn’t control me anymore.

What I want to leave in 2017:

I’m getting rid of the “I’m not good enough” mindset. The negativity and people who don’t make me happy or bring positivity into my life. Leave the cancelled plans and guilt. Leave the clutter and mess behind.

What I’m carrying into 2018 with me:

That I can do everything I want and set my mind to. Just can’t do it right now. My journaling, blogging and organising. That I can say no. The love of memories had in 2017; family meals, Meadowhall Christmas Live, cooking from scratch, time spent with Dave, friend gatherings and ME TIME.